Question - getting her to contribute for dates

redpillschool · 2013-01-18T20:25:51+00:00

I often make women pay for me on dates. In fact, I usually approach getting a date like this- "I feel like you owe me a drink..."

That's pretty hardcore though, so you don't have to go that route.

Chauvinism is ok- if you asked her out, no problem with you paying. You're a man and you have no problem with that. But if she shows un-lady like attributes, like she gets bitchy and talks about you paying for dinner, I'd put my foot down right then and there.

Just don't buy girls drinks at the bar.

itsmehobnob · 2013-01-18T19:44:11+00:00

My recent conclusion is to look at it from a equality vs chivalry point of view. If the girl wants me to pay for the date (chivalry) I expect her to behave in a traditionally feminine way. If she wants equality she pays.

ospurt · 2013-01-18T22:06:13+00:00

First off, my experience is if you lose the frame of "who pays and why" from the start it will take a lot to recover. You set expectations on the first encounter.

Some advice I have seen before is the "would you do it for a same gender friend?"

I also learned how to be generous from my Dad and lots of other high status men, which engages social pressures on others to at least be gracious and respectful of your generosity. If you model this behavior in a group around your problem woman they will respond in kind or be shunned basically.

Now, I'm a generous guy and will often bring a few extra beverages to a party or buy someone I am meeting/friends with (male or female) a drink to make them comfortable. This also lets me establish that frame of "I'm honoring you with my generosity." Which I find trumps most attempts for women to project entitlement if I do it right.

I rarely buy the second round, and I always graciously receive the generosity of others. I like to think this helps me exude the "I run with a generous and hospitable pack, don't be an entitled bitch/ass."

My Basic rules:

To get anything out of me requires One-on-One or acknowledgement.
Never more than a single drink or small reasonable meal (especially when first meeting).
Maintain Generous Frame

PaterOmnipotens · 2013-01-19T09:51:42+00:00

Tell her to design the next date. "Surprise me." Tell her, "why don't you take me out this time." I say it tongue-in cheek - "it's my turn to be a princess" is kind of my mentality. You're giving her an opportunity to impress you and build a connection with you. Don't buy this bullshit that Hollywood sells, that it must always be the man showing his affection and commitment, while the woman is the passive recipient of it.

If a woman is incensed that you are even asking her to do anything, it's because:

a) you've already set yourself up as a supplicating pussy, and any deviation from that role by you is unacceptable social climbing.

b) she's a gold-digging whore who thinks men exist as a means to get her jewelry and nice vacations. (Very common among Americanized Persian girls, for instance). At best, she thinks being a woman is a free pass to doing nothing in the relationship, that it's always your job to sustain it, and she is a passive recipient of your affection. The relationship equivalent of a starfish

Often, it's a combination of the two. "The sex isn't good enough to give it away for free." The greater your appeal and masculine dominance, the less likely she is to require anything from you besides you.

Or some combination thereof.

I did this to a girl recently, and she complied. (Her credit card was also declined when the bill came, hehe. There was a pause, and I made no pretense of stepping in to pay. She went to her car and got some cash instead.) I did it because she hadn't fucked me, and I started to feel like her personal validation teddy bear, so I made her put down some investment. Regardless, it seemed like she was holding off from fucking me without a good reason, and it left a really bad taste in my mouth, so I lost any desire to see her. Again, had she shown some real initiative, my interest would be revived. She didn't, so it didn't.

And the 'chivalry' angle is bullshit. She's not bearing your children. She's not abstaining from work because of you. If you think you need to buy her shit to get compliance, then you're acquiescing to being a john. Practically speaking, as you soon as you fuck her, I'd expect a fair give-and-take. Don't sweat the details, but don't let her think you should be the only one to pay forever.

You can ALWAYS walk, and that gives you immense power. Any grievance you have with her boils down to an ultimatum - she addresses it or you walk. If something truly bothers you, and she isn't willing to fix it, you should see her departure as a blessing. Ideally however, she will fix it without fighting. Honestly, this is one of the reasons I find relationships with Western women so implausible - I find a great deal of typical female behavior inappropriate for a woman in a relationship, and I know they wouldn't agree to it, nor would I let it pass in a serious relationship. So a serious relationship will never take hold.

abovefate · 2013-01-18T22:51:22+00:00

When I pick-up the meal, I usually TELL them to leave the tip. Simply, "I got this, you leave the tip." Can even tell them the amount in which to leave. You're still being generous and decent while establishing compliance, all while saving 18%.

Another example is to say, "I got this, you buy the drinks at later."

Just a note, if they only have a credit card (or worse, no cash at all) I consider that presumptuous on her part. Strike 1.

[deleted] · 2013-01-18T23:06:20+00:00

I know this is going to sound strange but:

Solution: at least try to fuck her on the first date.

For example, if I'm out at an izakaya, and we get frisky in the booth, then I know she's good for another date, and splitting the bill doesn't seem so bad to her anymore either at this point, because she knows the dates are going somewhere.

The big problem with women not wanting to pay and men wanting to split, is that neither party wants to waste their time and resources. If you aren't wasting her time then she likely won't try to make you waste your resources, unles she's just a bitch, in which case I ask, why do you give a shit if a bitch is pissed off at you for not paying the full tab?

Downvote-Connoisseur · 2013-01-18T23:09:20+00:00

Get to bar, "What do you want?", buy both of you a drink, tell her "You got the next round."

May as well head off the issue, and do it in a friendly way.

GeorgeGordonByron · 2013-01-19T02:43:08+00:00

easy, you meet up for coffee at starbucks. Ask for your coffee and look at her and casually ask,"you want me to get this one?"

If she says yes, you sever and move onto the next one.

Title	Question - getting her to contribute for dates
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	12
Date	January 18, 2013 7:35 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/16u05p/question_getting_her_to_contribute_for_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/question-getting-her-to-contribute-for-dates.3413 https://theredarchive.com/post/3413

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