I'm looking for a unicorn 🦄

THUNDERBUTTBALLKICKR · 2019-09-27T04:30:09+00:00

This is true except for the total matches should be 100,000. There will still be a shit load of beta orbiting cucks happy to date this fine woman.

DarthCallidous · 2019-09-27T13:00:21+00:00

Want to know what my requirements are?

Be honest. Be loyal. Don't be 300 pounds.

Nothing has worked out though.

chakradab · 2019-09-27T05:39:18+00:00

Ya its funny because this woman is likely a single 32 yr old who doesnt have any life skills and has nothing to offer such a perfect man. Not like any man like that is straight lmao.

PHUCK_THE_HIVE · 2019-09-27T13:19:15+00:00

Ya, it's the constant paradoxical expectations that kills relationship, and then when you "logically" try to explain it, you get the whole it's not about logic, it's about feeeeeelings.

Bullshit I put a lot of my feelings into my logic, they aren't mutually exclusive. That's just excuses.

lurkerhasarisen · 2019-09-27T15:49:06+00:00

If I was better with Excel I would consider making a spreadsheet that would allow women to input their criteria for men and have it calculate the number and percentage of men who fit those criteria. When people used to meet in meat-space this was a lot different, but with computer algorithms that can screen out anyone who doesn't meet every single preference a woman has, women get the idea that they can just go online and custom-order a man the way they order a gluten-free, skinny, half-caff mocha-latte with extra foam, as if their smartphone was some man-dispenser with multiple drop-down windows. This gives them the illusion of a multitude of Alpha Bucks dudes on the shelf just waiting for her to tire of sleeping with other men.

Now that I think about it, there would be a separate column wherein they would put their own information, such as age, weight, height, bastard kids, debt, etc, and have the program spit out a score for their SMV.

There would be a whole lot of,

"0.0004% of men match all of your criteria. There are approximately 2 such men within a 500-mile radius of your current location, and several hundred thousand single women in that area. You are at the 16th percentile of SMV. Do you wish to adjust your criteria?"

rationalthought314 · 2019-09-27T13:59:41+00:00

And the irony is even if such a man could be found (or created with futuristic cloning technology) she would still find something wrong with him.

where_muh_good_mens · 2019-09-27T04:16:50+00:00

Everything in this is subtly backwards including the title. But ehhh it's the weekend, shove it through.

jrpark05 · 2019-09-27T09:03:05+00:00

Love the wine glass.

A habit is forming....

CantBanFacts · 2019-09-27T05:29:05+00:00

It is shitty how true this is.

RealMcGonzo · 2019-09-27T13:55:33+00:00

She's not fat enough and no tats. Other than that, perfect.

Captainbuttman · 2019-09-27T14:14:49+00:00

The wine glass is a nice touch

YYCchatterbox · 2019-09-27T14:27:02+00:00

What i'm most bothered about is that wine glass tipping over.

upstagedalacazar · 2019-09-27T14:50:59+00:00

Funny comic and all, but the wine glass is what really made this for me.

OilHaulerND · 2019-09-27T15:01:17+00:00

No ladies? No gentlemen. Supply and demand.

TruthSeekingPerson · 2019-09-27T15:35:41+00:00

I love the wine glass.

apekingorange · 2019-09-27T19:08:30+00:00

Nice, even though it's just to advertise yet another dating app.

nervous1301 · 2019-09-27T22:51:03+00:00

True...

MrBluePill · 2019-09-30T12:30:05+00:00

Since more women made it into management and got funnelled in via overblown HR departments, job descriptions have started doing the same thing.

Title	I'm looking for a unicorn 🦄
Author	auracleapp
Upvotes	732
Comments	43
Date	September 27, 2019 3:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/d9uyoa/im_looking_for_a_unicorn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/im-looking-for-a-unicorn.344005 https://theredarchive.com/post/344005

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