Get me out of Tinder! (Translation of original opinion piece in the comments)

fromthecrypt8 · 2019-06-02T07:34:45+00:00

What is needed to meet a normal guy in his late thirties?

How about being young and fertile for one, not having spent your best years riding the CC and focusing on your career, honey?

It’s «besides the point» that she has picked the wrong guys? No, that’s exactly the point.

Such otherwordly hamster spinning.

LongGone8 · 2019-06-02T06:41:33+00:00

Honestly: What is needed to meet a normal and upstanding guy at the end of his thirties?

[Image text]: I have dated a varied selection of men. From the nerd to the asshole, the dad to the bechelor. The outdoorsy guy, the teacher, the banker, the engineer, the farmer and the musician. I really am open. Then it hits me, writes the author.

Over the last 4 years I've been single. And, with the exception of when I deleted the app out of anger and frustration after a date, I've used tinder.

Really. Honestly. What is needed to met a normal and upstanding guy in his late thirties that wants to hang with me? To see what can happen, if there is any chemistry, and not just wanting to dive into my painties. Is it so damn much to ask?

Most males I have come across are only after one thing. I am in no way alone in this experience. Its something about the screeen which makes all inhibitions go away. People change. They become freer and tougher. Its probably applicable to all genders.

[Quote]: These apps really don't work.

Now I hear the rest of the guys, the exceptions, protesting! Maybe there is something about me and the girls I know, maybe we attract the wrong guys. But thats besides the point, for lets be honest: How many have end up getting laid as compared to in a relationship after a tinder date? I thought so.

I have dated a varied selection of men. From the nerd to the asshole, the dad to the bechelor. The outdoorsy guy, the teacher, the banker, the engineer, the farmer and the musician. I really am open! Open to getting to know the person behind the disguise. I try and I try, get blinded, and then it ends. Time and time again.

So, is it me? Could it be that I am steered by the exterior too much on Tinder? Does the depth of character disappear when the screen is flat? Do I expect too much of the guy? Do both of us have an unrealistic expectation of one another? Was I just thirsty for attention? There are many of these questions.

[Quote]: [Just repeated shit from above. Don't know why the paper does this.]

The point is that these apps don't work. THey really don't. Or rather, they do, if you're looking for sex. Then they work, no doubt about it. And good on those who seek sex. But what about us who genuinely want to know a person and the nuances in that? Should I just accept that I need Tinder to meet someone? I've leaned on that. Checking out from the couch works for me. But has any ["hygge", meaning a non-sexual good times. I suspect she means a relationship.] come out of that?. Well...

Lets call a spade a spade. Us up in the north [of Norway] aren't the best at seeking out people we don't know. Imagine if we had tried. What if that person is in a relationship? What if we are rejected. Imagine if he thinks I'm mad.

The few times I've attempted to approach a handsome guy and shown my interest, I've been drunk. Very drunk. I'v even managed to kiss a guy I knew for 10 minutes. Not my proudest moment. So how do I strike that balance between discarding people on Tinder and being piss drunk to show my interest in real life. There needs to be an inbetween, right?

[Quote]: It's more or less just a contact ad in my situation.

Then something unexpected happened. A snap slid into my phone on a regular Thursday evening. It was from a single friend currently out travling. She sendt me a picture of herself with the biggest smile and a shopping cart, the latter marked with "flørtekurv" [flirt basker]. The grocery store Føtex in Aarhus has apparely gambled on singles and love. Genius! I jumped out of my chair: It exists! A way to wear the green cap all year and show your status on the market.

My God! How many times haven't I been to that store, seen a handsom guy, and now known what I could do about it?

[Quote]: I want real interactions between real people to make a return.

The best is that in the store, personality is front and center. Choice of coffee and bread, ecological, meat or vegan, frugal or not. Your basket says a lot. [By this point I fail to realize what this has to do with her point.]

Imagine how many singles you've passed each time you've been to the store, unknowingly. Recently divorced, year-long bachelors, widows, forever-bachelors etc.

I do imagine what had happened if every single had a basket that said "flørtekurv". I, for one, would've smiled more. Maybe even approached a person, or vice versa. Maybe just to talk, or maybe asking for a coffee some day.

[Quote]: [Literally the sentence that opened the above paragraph.]

I want that to return. Interaction between real people. THe possibility to feel the stare of the other, feel the tension on the air, the body language, feelings etc, when a person is next to you. Something a screen can never show: Physical reactions. The body does not lie. There aer no filters, no screeen to hide behind. [Aside frpm a fortune's worth of makeup, I suppose]. Be yourself, be real. It's good enough!

This here is probably just a big ad for me. But it's also a wish for the Norwegian groceries to adopt the flirt basket. I, for one, am deleting tinder and embracing this genius idea. I am certain us singles will stick around the grocery stores a little more.

For if it isn't for the flirt basket, then I'll be swiping forever.

Please help us! And thatnks in advance.

aussielander · 2019-06-02T09:58:20+00:00

The few times I've attempted to approach a handsome guy and shown my interest, I've been drunk. Very drunk. I'v even managed to kiss a guy I knew for 10 minutes.

Reverse the sexs and the #metoo would have a melt down.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-06-02T12:23:41+00:00

Women are all reading from the same script. They piss and moan about the quality of guys they meet and fuck. But, never acknowledge that they chose those men. They swiped right, went on "dates," spread their legs, rinse, repeat and can't understand that they're creating their own misery. Let them have it.

Stay single my friends.

beatles-lover · 2019-06-02T11:23:36+00:00

Google Translate needs a Thotspeak to English feature.

What is needed to met a normal and upstanding guy in his late thirties that wants to hang with me?

translates to

What is needed to met a normal and upstanding guy in his late thirties who is in the top 10-20% of physical attractiveness that wants to hang with me?

___________

Most males I have come across are only after one thing.

translates to

Most males I have come across who are in the top 10-20% of physical attractiveness are only after one thing from me

_________________

decentpieceofmeat · 2019-06-02T14:48:27+00:00

"I've been like... single.. for like... 4 like... years.. what's like wrong with like men?"

"Most males I've come across are just looking for a thing. I am by no means alone to experience this."

Men react to women's sexual strategies... you can thank feminism for creating this hook up pump and dump culture.

beatles-lover · 2019-06-02T16:00:31+00:00

Bold, quoted text is my response.

Honestly: What is needed to meet a normal and upstanding guy at the end of his thirties?

For you to be in your late twenties?

Over the last 4 years I've been single. And, with the exception of when I deleted the app out of anger and frustration after a date, I've used tinder.

Almost like dating apps aren’t the key to happiness, who knew?

Really. Honestly. What is needed to met a normal and upstanding guy in his late thirties that wants to hang with me? To see what can happen, if there is any chemistry, and not just wanting to dive into my painties. Is it so damn much to ask?

Have you considered the reason that a pump and dump is all you’re worth to these guys is because you’re either aiming too high or so stupid, obnoxious and difficult to deal with the men just want sex at the minimum effort?

Most males I have come across are only after one thing. I am in no way alone in this experience. Its something about the screeen which makes all inhibitions go away. People change. They become freer and tougher. Its probably applicable to all genders.

Women swipe right 14% of the time, men about 80%. Also, what the fuck do you mean ‘all genders?’ - There’s two.

Now I hear the rest of the guys, the exceptions, protesting!

Why would I bother protesting? You wouldn’t listen anyway.

Maybe there is something about me and the girls I know, maybe we attract the wrong guys.

Most women actually attract quite a large range of guys, they just think 80% of men are worthless to date. So no, you pursue the wrong guys and ignore the remaining ones, some of whom might be decent. (Ohhhhh, I await being displayed on NiceGuys!)

But thats besides the point, for lets be honest: How many have end up getting laid as compared to in a relationship after a tinder date? I thought so.

Projection. Women can laid on these apps in half an hour, if not less. If you actually asked men if they’ve ever gotten laid from Tinder, I suspect you’d find the answer a shock.

I have dated a varied selection of men. From the nerd to the asshole, the dad to the bechelor. The outdoorsy guy, the teacher, the banker, the engineer, the farmer and the musician. I really am open! Open to getting to know the person behind the disguise. I try and I try, get blinded, and then it ends. Time and time again.

And yet, every single one of these guys hasn’t bothered sticking around with you. It’s not their jobs that make up their personalities… The one thing they all have in common here is you.

So, is it me?

Yes.

Could it be that I am steered by the exterior too much on Tinder? Does the depth of character disappear when the screen is flat? Do I expect too much of the guy?

Bingo.

Do both of us have an unrealistic expectation of one another?

Unlikely, given most men wan a pulse, not a large excess of blubber and preferably without other men’s children in tow.

Was I just thirsty for attention? There are many of these questions.

Given you’re writing an Op; ED about how difficult your life, yes, I’d say you were extremely thirsty for attention.

The point is that these apps don't work. THey really don't. Or rather, they do, if you're looking for sex. Then they work, no doubt about it.

Allow me to introduce you to 80% of the male populace, who might contest this assertion.

And good on those who seek sex. But what about us who genuinely want to know a person and the nuances in that? Should I just accept that I need Tinder to meet someone? I've leaned on that. Checking out from the couch works for me. But has any ["hygge", meaning a non-sexual good times. I suspect she means a relationship.] come out of that?. Well…

You could always approach a guy

Lets call a spade a spade. Us up in the north [of Norway] aren't the best at seeking out people we don't know. Imagine if we had tried. What if that person is in a relationship? What if we are rejected. Imagine if he thinks I'm mad.

Oh well, it was worth considering.

The few times I've attempted to approach a handsome guy and shown my interest, I've been drunk. Very drunk. I'v even managed to kiss a guy I knew for 10 minutes. Not my proudest moment. So how do I strike that balance between discarding people on Tinder and being piss drunk to show my interest in real life. There needs to be an inbetween, right?

Actually, maybe you shouldn’t approach men. That seems like a bad idea given the above #metoo

Then something unexpected happened. A snap slid into my phone on a regular Thursday evening. It was from a single friend currently out travling. She sendt me a picture of herself with the biggest smile and a shopping cart, the latter marked with "flørtekurv" [flirt basker]. The grocery store Føtex in Aarhus has apparely gambled on singles and love. Genius! I jumped out of my chair: It exists! A way to wear the green cap all year and show your status on the market.

We had a similar thing at my university several years ago. Guess what happened? 80% of the men who wore green (traffic light party, green was available / to go) were ignored, of course. It doesn’t mater if you measure the amount of ‘desirable men’ in a jug, a cup, a bowl, a dish or a whiskey tumbler. The amount of men who meets you standards will always be low. A silly signalling system isn’t going to change that.

My God! How many times haven't I been to that store, seen a handsom guy, and now known what I could do about it?

The best is that in the store, personality is front and center. Choice of coffee and bread, ecological, meat or vegan, frugal or not. Your basket says a lot. [By this point I fail to realize what this has to do with her point.]

Oh God, she’s one of those judgemental people who gazes in to your shopping trolley/basket to find out your entire life story. Run away, run away.

Imagine how many singles you've passed each time you've been to the store, unknowingly. Recently divorced, year-long bachelors, widows, forever-bachelors etc.

‘Year-long bachelors’ - Oh honey, if only you had an inkling of what life is like for your average man. If only...

I do imagine what had happened if every single had a basket that said "flørtekurv". I, for one, would've smiled more. Maybe even approached a person, or vice versa. Maybe just to talk, or maybe asking for a coffee some day.

As long as you don’t kiss him for ten minutes whilst drinking amaretto you’ve yet to pay for, I guess you can approach him.

I want that to return. Interaction between real people. THe possibility to feel the stare of the other, feel the tension on the air, the body language, feelings etc, when a person is next to you.

Oh Chad, where are you?! I want butterflies. Should Chad be called Anders in Norway?

Something a screen can never show: Physical reactions. The body does not lie. There aer no filters, no screeen to hide behind. [Aside frpm a fortune's worth of makeup, I suppose]. Be yourself, be real. It's good enough!

Most men aren’t good enough for you, come on. Why do you think you’re in your late thirties writing an article bemoaning the lack of good men?

I just shit ten IQ points reading this. Thanks a lot.

Harry_Teak · 2019-06-02T20:04:58+00:00

"Single" for four years. That's a lotta pumps & dumps. I'm wondering if she can still walk. Probably at least uses a cane.

Blissbynature · 2019-06-02T08:37:54+00:00

Hope springs eternal I suppose.

I have a feeling most people that end up shopping with those 'flirt baskets' will be middle aged women.

SilverGryphon · 2019-06-02T16:46:50+00:00

Oh what a surprise, the dudes using a hookup app want to bang her and then dump her. She probably has a kid but she conveniently left that part out.

lehappyjuice · 2019-06-02T16:14:28+00:00

This thread is lifefuel

moroots · 2019-06-02T18:00:37+00:00

[spends hundreds of words complaining about a dating app not yielding her the results she wants]

old proverb: a poor worksman blames his tools

-fin

WaspOnAWall · 2019-06-02T22:07:25+00:00

"Maybe we attract the wrong guys"

Or maybe they choose the wrong guys.

Title	Get me out of Tinder! (Translation of original opinion piece in the comments)
Author	LongGone8
Upvotes	61
Comments	45
Date	June 2, 2019 6:41 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/bvuok7/get_me_out_of_tinder_translation_of_original/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/get-me-out-of-tinder-translation-of-original.345505 https://theredarchive.com/post/345505

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