AITA post from a Good Man!

WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey · 2018-10-23T18:06:45+00:00

Seriously? Almost 2 years and "She never wanted to go "all-the-way" to say the least. However, she expects me to get her off by other means but never does anything towards me."? How does that happen more than... being really generous call it twice and you haven't moved on? Have some respect for yourself. No one else is gonna do that for you.

BewareTheOldMan · 2018-10-23T20:10:16+00:00

It's easy to see the reality of this situation:

Chad/multiple Chads has been pounding this man's "girlfriend" senseless for the past two years...regularly providing her with mind-blowing orgasms - hence no need to have sex with Mr. Nice Guy Beta-Orbiter or provide oral sex.

Oral sex is reserved for Chad and NOT for stupid Beta-Orbiter Lap Dogs.

Two years is a long time to go without sex. It's also likely he knew this chick was no virgin.

Lastly - she lied...her father is not deceased as per her story. It's a basic technique to get her Beta-Orbiter back under control.

SocratesOnPot · 2018-10-23T20:42:32+00:00

It was a point that really irritated me, but as I'm really antisocial and hate conflicts, I leave it be because I genuinely loved her.

Yes, I've been there before. Introverted personality types really don't want to rock the boat. It's naturally really hard for us to draw boundries and generally just express ourselves to others, ironically, especially to those people whom we generally love. So what happens is we usually get walked on in some way or another and not necessarily just in our romantic lives.

A good idea that helped me is that sometimes we have to "not" love in order to love. It's OK to have disagreements, to voice your feelings and frustrations. Doing so doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you don't love them.

I will also say standing up for yourself is a social skill, and like most social skills, it's learned fairly early and built up over time. Antisocial people typically are at a disadvantage over their peers because they haven't "practiced" drawing boundaries over years like they have. So our peers are expecting resistance in that tug of war game of wills, and what happens is that "pull" is all the more stronger when it yanks us around. We aren't prepared for the force they use, and they aren't anticipating there being no resistance (unless of course they are just preying on someone's good nature, which does happen, but this is separate from the more innocent example being described).

boisdevie · 2018-10-23T20:44:56+00:00

" I was dating this girl for almost two years, and everything is going fine. We didn't have any arguments or fights or other "couple drama" that you'd think of. Our sex life was... scarce to say the least? "

So, everything was going fine apart from the shitty sex life. That's a really funny idea of fine that this guy has. That's like the jews saying that Nazi germany was fine apart from the concentration camps.

JJ3314 · 2018-10-24T01:48:46+00:00

This shows how difficult it is for many men to not confuse authentic ethics/morals with feelings for a girl. Being ethical also means behaving with a modicum of self-respect, and not continuously submitting to treatment you would never wish on another. Being “nice” is not the end all be all of being a good person. But with women it’s especially difficult, because the male sex drive often predisposes a man to behaving generously towards a given object of his attraction, often to the point of pedestalizing the female. The right thing to do here is to forcefully shut this woman down and resist her bullshit on all levels, but if your ethical sense is only tied to your “feelings” and not principles you will buckle. In this scenario men who are genuinely assholes have an advantage: they may not have principles in other areas of life, but at least their tendency to behave selfishly comes in handy when faced with a self-centered woman. There aren’t only two options here, but if I had to choose between selfishly pursuing my own desires in all areas, without restraint, versus allowing myself to be conditioned to constantly cater to the selfish desires of another, I’d choose the former option every fucking time.

spy9911 · 2018-10-25T20:11:04+00:00

Call Chad about dead dad.

Title	AITA post from a Good Man!
Author	lonelystar82
Upvotes	81
Comments	28
Date	October 23, 2018 5:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/9qrf4d/aita_post_from_a_good_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/aita-post-from-a-good-man.348142 https://theredarchive.com/post/348142

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