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“I want to get into an open relationship with my ex because he loves me to death and would do anything for me but another guy gives me tingles. Oh, and he’s only my ex because I left him to fuck this guy.”

parheticpathetic

July 28, 2018

168 upvotes

/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen

http://archive.is/oJWTi

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Title	“I want to get into an open relationship with my ex because he loves me to death and would do anything for me but another guy gives me tingles. Oh, and he’s only my ex because I left him to fuck this guy.”
Author	parheticpathetic
Upvotes	168
Comments	64
Date	July 28, 2018 11:50 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/92lklw/i_want_to_get_into_an_open_relationship_with_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/i-want-to-get-into-an-open-relationship-with-my-ex.348869 https://theredarchive.com/post/348869

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[–]holidaysbootsHis name was Robert Cuckson99 points100 points101 points 7 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]comptejeteJr. Hamster Analyst45 points46 points47 points 7 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

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[–]sleepyweaselisawakeNeighbor of the Beast8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–]comptejeteJr. Hamster Analyst27 points28 points29 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]TitySuker29 points30 points31 points 7 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]TouchedOnlyByMom8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]WiseMonkeyGoodMonkeyOutlaw Evilmonkey29 points30 points31 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]jytrader 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]BluepillProfessorMRP Mod0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SJHammer 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link

You nearly perfectly described a recent experience of mine.

Dated and orbited a girl for about 1 year. Told her to never contact me again. 2 years later, she puts boyfriend in jail for domestic violence, has a 1 year old kid, and is trying to start something with me. We hung out 3 times. She kept telling me she misses me, the old me who was beta, and wants me to be that guy, and I'm being weird for not being that guy. She gets really selfish and manipulative, pouring "poor me" victim card heavily, excuses, and explanations, trying to guilt trip me into being beta again. Then says its my fault this isnt working out, and I was better before(2 years ago, when I was getting stringed along...that was "better"). So I said "okay, take care."

Yes I had become more successful as well, as you described. Bought a house, bought a car, won a bodybuilding show.

[–]TouchedOnlyByMom0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]SJHammer 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]TouchedOnlyByMom1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]SJHammer 1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]comptejeteJr. Hamster Analyst46 points47 points48 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]houseoftolstoyHeavy Marauder of Truth Bombs36 points37 points38 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Do I (23F) want to get into an open relationship with (23M) for the wrong reasons?

Without even reading the post, you already know the answer is yes. An open relationship is bullshit from the start. Just an excuse to give up any self control for your own hedonistic thrills. All while having the gall to claim you care about the person you claim to love. Now let's dive into the actual content:

This is kind of a long story but I’ll do my best to shorten it. Basically, my ex and I were together for 5 years and broke up 2 years ago. We’ve been hanging out as best friends ever since. I always knew and felt that he was the one for me and I don’t think a day will come that I’ll ever meet anyone who loves me as much as he does.

If this guy agrees to her request for an open relationship, he is quite the sucker. And she cannot really care about him that much if she is asking this question, since she would just be with him alone if she did care for him.

We broke up because I felt like we had been growing apart and I grew curious about how things would be with someone else (we were each other’s first everything). Not long afterwards, I met a guy and we began a sexual relationship. This went on for a year until he moved away. So, it’s been a year since I’ve seen this guy.

"Grew curious about how things would be with someone else" means she does not really love him. No one longs for something else if they are wholly satisfied. I think it is a sign of our decay as a society, since people do not learn to be happy with what they have. Instead, they just look for something better. This is especially true when it comes to hypergamy. And that ironically makes them more miserable in the long run, since it results in women wasting time on guys that are not going to commit but are "exciting" instead of being happy with the guy that will stick around and make them happier in the long run. But those cheap thrills, that's what is important. Not happiness in the long run.

I want to get back with my ex because all of the signs still point to him being the one for me. He would do absolutely anything for me and I look into his eyes and see nothing but pure love. At this point, I can’t imagine not being in each other’s lives and he has all of the qualities of the perfect life partner. Our bond is amazing and I still love him dearly.

She's not even back with her ex, and she is already asking if it's okay to cuck him? This relationship is doomed before it restarted. That "bond" will not hold just because of the magic word "relationship" or "marriage." The magic is in actively being faithful and loving, not just the label.

However, the other guy recently moved back and I can’t deny that I still have extremely strong sexual feelings for him. I’ve been fantasizing about him sexually ever since he left. I mean it when I say it’s purely sex because he is NOT relationship material and I know he doesn’t love me. My feelings for him are sexual and shallow while for my ex, they’re deep and wholesome.

But my love for my ex means very little to me, because my tingles! "Deep and wholesome," my ass. It's as deep as a puddle. Every slut or slut enabler that says "it's just sex!", needs to quit deluding themselves. Pair bonding properly is important for a relationship to succeed, and you cannot have that if you cannot just stick with one partner.

I’ve been wanting to get into an open relationship with the ex for this reason. I want to be together and eventually marry him (that’s when the open relationship will end of course) but I also want to fulfill my sexual desire for the other guy. Before you ask, yes I would be completely fine with him seeing another girl, I’ll even encourage it.

And she wants to marry this guy, which will totally end the open relationship. Right. That temptation just goes away because marriage is magical. I'm a married man, no it's not. The "magic" is the steadfast commitment that both the husband and the wife make, before and after the wedding. If you cannot be faithful before, the marriage will not fix that issue. Marriage is something that continually needs work, which is why so many marriages end in divorce. Because for too many, that pledge for commitment meant nothing. Just words to them. As it will be with this OP, since she thinks that she is going to be able to stop wanting to fulfill that sexual desire after being married.

Oh but she will be fine with him seeing another girl. Yes, let's not forget that she already has a guy lined up, and that guys cannot get offers for sex nearly as easily as the girls (unless he is a real slayer). But yeah, that will totally be fair. She cannot imagine what it is like for men, so she must think sex comes easy for everyone. Projection is quite the poison.

Is this a bad reason to get into an open relationship? I admit, I don’t know how they work. It just seems so right to me at this moment.

Yes. Spare your ex from this, if you have any respect or care for him. You don't deserve him, he deserves soI'meone who won't look to cuck him before there is a relationship on the table.

What a terrible woman.

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