Text advice - Setting up date?

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February 2, 2020

Hey everyone,

Got set up with someone by friends at Church today and got the phone number. She and I had some small talk and then she got some coffee and talked with some other people and then she came over to me as she was about to leave for work and said it was nice meeting me. I got her number and texted her a couple hours later saying “Hey —-, it’s —- from Church, nice to meet you.”

She sent me back a “Hey! Great to meet you too ☺️“

Is it too soon to set up the date after this short exchange, or should I have small talk and then set the date up?

Post Information
Title Text advice - Setting up date?
Author SingularityOne198
Upvotes 8
Comments 10
Date 02 February 2020 11:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/355964
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/exxla7/text_advice_setting_up_date/
Similar Posts

[–]rocknrollchuck7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't waste time, set it up! Invite her to do something with you soon:

"Hey I'm going to be [doing this really cool thing] next Saturday, you should join me as my date." Make it an action date rather than dinner or a movie.

[–]SingularityOne198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome, that makes sense. Thanks!

[–]Deep_Strength2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'd personally do something like what chuck said.

Please remember that the "RP" take on texting is only for logistics is neither right nor wrong. If you're good with teasing a girl through text and building up to your next meeting then it can be great. If you know that you sabotage yourself a lot through text then you might want to pass or know that you need to work on it more.

[–]SingularityOne198[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, I mean, I know the “rules” of texting generally. However, I like to be more safe than sorry since I know that eliminating unattractive qualities goes further than trying to improve positive qualities.

I got the date set up (Chuck’s advice worked). Any advice on texting in general? Not something that’s talked about a bunch on ChristianRP from my searches.

[–]Deep_Strength1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Apparently I'm really good at generating attraction via texting since that's how I did it with all of my dates/gfs prior to and also with my wife.

Teasing requires the girl to pick up your underlying context otherwise it just comes off as mean in most cases. To make sure it comes across right I typically use a ton of emojis. I also think it's good to going along with your natural personality, so if you have a silly or playful streak then show it. If you are serious then you can be that way, but inject them with moments of fun or humor.

[–]SingularityOne198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome, I’ll keep that in mind. I appreciate the advice!

[–]AlanNoles1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just ask her out. She already knows what is up. If you find her attractive then just do it.

I do not know how long your initial interaction was, but when I was single and in the process of getting numbers I normally tried to set up something to do later that week on the spot and tried to initiate at least one inside joke between us that I could reference.

It makes it easier when you are texting them since you already have something fun planned.

For example, I had a really dope waffle place 5 mins from where I stayed. I knew all the waitresses in there and they would normally come and talk with me and my date while I was there and would boost me.

Initial Convo: (Introduce self), 5 mins of conversation. (Mention food and that I really like waffles).... btw I have this really good waffle place near my house and just hype it up. If you are into it and she is into you it should be fairly easy after to set up a date.

Set the date up within 48 hours of getting her number. If she is an attractive girl, she will have others blowing up her phone constantly and also prevents you from over-texting. 24 hours before the date, I used to send a cocky funny text like "Can't wait to eat some waffles, I have been craving them. Make sure you straighten your hair, otherwise I am sending you home ;)"

That text normally opens up the chance for some fun push and pull texts and puts "the good emotions" you want in her before the date. One hour before the date I say, "I hope you are straightening your hair ;). This reminds her about the date and if she forgot and cannot show then she has the opportunity to re-schedule. (It is also pretty funny because in my experience they actually did straighten it).

Not saying you need to use this structure, but it is the first date. You will probably have a lot of them. I used this same text on the 100 first dates I went on in my life. Doing the same first date over and over again also gave me confidence while I was on the date which set the tone for the relationship. Just make a structure congruent to you and your own interests.

But the most important thing is to have fun on the date.

Some will, some wont...so what.

[–]SingularityOne198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for this. Yeah, the structure is a good idea. I’ll change it around to make it more congruent for my personality. Gotta keep that OI at the end of the day though, for sure.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You may be too late as it is. You've met in person, and connected on text. What more do you expect from texting?

[–]SingularityOne198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We went on 2 dates and there wasn’t any attraction on my end. So I let her know I didn’t see things going anywhere romantically.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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