It’s been over 7 months since my breakup with my ex. I’m gonna try to summarize everything and make it short. Basically she cheated on me first time (met up with her ex “but didn’t do anything”) without my knowledge. I found out through friends what she has done and this was all while she was on vacay with family outside my city. Ended it, she begged and pleaded and explained that she just wanted “closure” from him and she even said she was gonna kill herself. I still ended, got me so fucked up mentally and I got fucked academically too.

A month later, like the beta fag I was, i talked to her again and we ended up meeting up shortly after. I told her we’ll see how you change and she promised she’ll do everything. Ofc my dumbass believed her, took her back without the knowledge of any of my friends (basically had a secret relationship) where I would see her maybe once or twice every 2-3 weeks and fuck her and go out. This lasted for maybe 4 months until I left to my family for a 2 month break. When I came back, she decided to stop replying to my messages and ignore me. Didn’t even want to see after not seeing for me 2 months, I was devastated. The ONLY good thing was that I never pleaded or texted her multiple times to answer me. I left it, but I was fucked from the inside. 2 weeks later I text her and she tells me about all her “problems” that she’s been dealing with and couldn’t talk and how busy she is because of her new job. So i set out my expectations for her, tell her that the least thing I expect from her as my gf is to give me a call when I’m back. She persists about her busy life, and mentions that she has no time for relationships right now. Basically doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that I’m even dating her anymore. Tells me she still wants to be friends, I say fuck no. Fucked me up, so I tell her to end it and be done. She ends it, I stop talking.

So then, I stopped hitting her up or talking to her in any form, started focusing on my life career etc. fucked a plate I used to know before and tried to forget about her but it was hard, hard af. She was my first serious gf. Couple months later and she starts trying to talk and comment on some stuff I do over the time and I still ignore. She then hits me up to go out, meet her on valentines in a bar, and now 2 weeks ago she says she wants to see me before she leaves the city for good (she’s moving to a diff state). I still ignore. Why the fuck does she wanna see me. It pisses me off honestly, I know I shouldn’t care but she disrespected me by ghosting me and playing with my emotions. Now suddenly she cares so much.

Clearly I’m still not over the anger phase, i keep trying to forget and nothing helps. I’m focusing on other things but thoughts of her still keep coming. Now with the virus situation bs, my thoughts about her are even getting more.