The most important concept to learn in life is: It’s My Fault.

But Unreasonable…

  • My girl cheated on me. Don’t Care. It’s Your Fault.
  • I lost my job. Don’t Care. It’s Your Fault.
  • I was abused as a child. Don’t Care. It’s Your Fault.
  • I’m not tall/good looking/smart/some other genetic trait, enough. Don’t Care. It’s Your Fault.

This is a hard truth for some people to swallow. But here’s the secret, it has nothing to do with accepting or assigning blame. Blame is for losers. Blame is used to shirk and skip out on responsibility. Blame is a tool for blue pill faggots.

Responsibility is a tool for winners.

Let’s take a look at a real life scenario that could happen to any one of us.

You are walking down the street one evening in your city's downtown area on the way to a date. Since you are in a time crunch you cut down an alleyway to save a few minutes. As you are walking you get an uneasy feeling in your gut. You can’t place it, but something feels off.

Moving past a dumpster you see movement out of your peripheral vision and before you can identify it, the words, “Give me your wallet, phone and watch,” register in your ears. While instinctively turning towards the sound you feel a sharp pain in your side and when looking down see the knife blade being pulled from your gut. Falling to the ground you think to yourself, “How did this happen?”

Rule #1 says, “It’s your fault.”

But I didn’t stab myself. I was just walking downtown. It’s a safe city. It was just bad luck.

Sure, that is one way to look at it. Bad luck. But I don’t believe in luck. I believe we, through our intentional and unintentional actions, influence the world around us. We are the masters of our own destiny. By simply writing things off as bad luck or circumstance or victim mentality we are absolving ourselves of the responsibility to live our own lives.

In the above scenario are you an actual victim of a crime? Absolutely. Is the criminal to blame for your wounds? Of course. But who holds the responsibility for your life and the choices you made to put yourself there? Only you.

Did you have to be late and therefore choose to walk that way to save time? No. Could you have been more situationally aware and listen to your intuition? Yes. Even barring those was there a more advantageous outcome once engaged by the thief? Of course.

Let’s say you were Concealed Carrying (assuming it’s legal in your jurisdiction) and had enough situational awareness to notice the attacker before they were close enough to stab you. They still demand your money and with a knife in hand start to move towards you. You draw and shoot them.

Rule #1 It’s your fault.

(Disclaimer: This is a good scenario because it shows an important distinction between taking personal responsibility for your life, and legal or some other liability for your actions. I don’t ever want this rule to be construed as advice to take liability. It’s just about accepting the fact you are not a victim. It’s your fault. Own it personally, but in the above scenario shut up and ask for a lawyer.)

Why is it so important to take personal responsibility for your life?

If you spend your time trying to find and place blame, rather than just saying, “It’s my fault.” You will never be able to spend your time finding solutions and improving. If you write off the scenario above as bad luck, then you don’t learn how to avoid the situation to begin with.

When your girl cheats on you and you say, “It’s her fault for doing that.” You are technically correct and you should 1000% hold her responsible for her behaviour. But what did you do that led up to that. Things do not occur in a vacuum. Maybe you can evaluate the situation and come to the conclusion that you had no hand in anything leading up to it. But most likely not.

The other important reason for taking responsibility in your life is your own happiness.

When I get mad at people for things they do, I allow them to influence my happiness. If I look at every situation in life and ask, “How is this my fault?” I have much more control over outcomes and emotions about the situation. My happiness is no longer defined by others actions. I won’t be angry or upset about things that happen to me because I’m learning to own my life and my feelings.

Stop giving other people and life events power over your happiness and life. Take responsibility. Own your own life.

Rule #1: It’s your fault.