My marriage recently ended after 20 years. Ive posted about it a number of times at various stages but using since deleted usernames. In a nutshell I lost respect for my husband and got my head turned and started to get some satisfaction outside my marriage. I didnt physically cheat on him, but it was on the radar. He found out.

So we are now separated and co parenting and getting along well that way. The separation feels like a huge relief and opportunity to me in between the sadness that we couldn’t make it work and the acknowledgement of what I have lost.

I need help because I worry for my Son.(9) My daughter (7) is strong willed and dominant. She will do anything to get what she wants. She pushes him to his limits every day.

She goes about her merry way while he sits and fumes. He is very patient initially and tries to assert his boundaries but she smashes right through them. She doesn’t care.

He will submit to her to keep the peace and cos he feels he cant win. Or she boxes him into a corner. He needs to be master of his own mood and fate. The way that she is! Or he will always be pushed around by women like her and I.

I know what I have to do with her. A lot of it starts with me.

But the boy.. His Dad is no help me here as ultimately he could not pass my shit tests and manage me. My Son is going to end up the same.

The last two days we’ve video called my folks and their Dad. The boy starts a lovely conversation and she comes in and shouts all over him. He immediately backs off and lets her take over. Yesterday we tolerated it and just pointed it out to her afterwards and she accepted it was rude. Today she did the same thing so she got a good telling off. She has been sulking ever since and we’ve left her to it. She has grudgingly acquiesced that she was wrong. Says she is not sulking she is angry with herself. I take this as a good sign. She wants het brother to like her. She adores him and knows he finds her annoying.

I am confident I can sort her out before puberty. I have a different approach and energy these days and she will emulate it in time. She has a boyfriend with leukaemia and he gets a completely side to the girl. He has been a key part in turning her from an aggressive violent pre schooler to a caring, nurturing and thoughtful mini nurse. She was assigned to be his class carer in the first weeks at school and they bonded and became a couple, bless them its been three years!! She is so caring and devoted in her choices to stay in at play time with him if he’s got sore legs from his treatment or whatever. In time, I will get those sides of her in balance.

But how can I help my boy avoid being hen pecked as he goes through life??