Recurring oneitis with strangers

abdada · 2015-09-10T14:07:38+00:00

It's primal. I still get random "wow she was super cute, should've approached" crushes now and then.

And my sex life is full and I have zero time to add a plate.

Men love newness and sexiness and women who show IOIs.

I flirt, a lot, with everyone. I say hi to everyone. I'll get desire for some. It is normal and healthy. Go home and bang your LTR or a plate with a little extra SGM.

BaconEggsAndSleaze · 2015-09-10T15:51:12+00:00

How do you get women out of your thought patterns, and keep them out?

You don't.

You need to refocus your thoughts and use them as a source of motivation and to apply discipline to your life.

You state that you see minor gains in the gym from working out, but are not at the spot where you could pull one of the chicks that are straddling your mind.

If you must fantasize, do it at the gym. (For other readers, Anger is also an excellent source)

mugatucrazypills · 2015-09-10T15:13:21+00:00

At first I thought it was the sexual frustration of deleting all my >pornography, and making an active effort to masturbate less. But >the worst of my porn-withdrawals seem over, and the oneitis-like >mental fixations have remained.

I'm sure that I'll be downvoted out of existence by the NoFap crowd and a bunch of RP with the religion BP still stuck down their thoats but what does this have to do anything ?

Seems to me the NoFapers/NoPorners are going against science and biology. Science says that if you train your sexual response you'll improve your sexual response and control.

Also there's a cycle of NoFap which is struck in some sort of neopuritan shame cycle. Try not to fap, and set yourself up for failure and then feel shame and worthlessness when you "fail" at this silly mission.

To me NoFap/NoPorn is saying the womansphere owns your right to touch yourself and fantasize, appreciate visual sexual attractiveness in women.

I've been ejected from another mens' online group for holding this same opinion, so I'm going to continue belive that "I must be right above the target to get this much flak"

MattyAnon · 2015-09-10T15:27:11+00:00

Crushing for a few days or a week is fine.

This will change as you mature and get other options.

Don't worry about it. Stay vigilant.

epixs · 2015-09-10T15:36:44+00:00

I have this problem from time to time, but what helps me is to understand women are like buses, there's always another one coming as soon as one leaves...

I also self think to myself , is there really anything special about this girl or is my mind just forcing myself to think about only the good qualities of this girl? Once you logically think about your oneitis in a technical way, it usually makes you realize how much you really were thinking with your dick.

Also working at the bar during nights reminds me women's true nature and I just kinda laugh at myself to imagine putting these women (awalt) on some kind of imaginary infatuation/pedestal.

Onemanwolfpack23 · 2015-09-10T16:07:17+00:00

"I work two jobs, have a lot school work (real school work, as I'm a STEM major), and also stay heavily involved in clubs and organizations for scholarship purposes."

I found the problem. You aren't having any fun in your life. These things aren't fun. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Between the gym and doing all this square shit, you are positioning yourself (whether you are RP or not) as a BB to potential women.

You need to figure out a fun outlet for your time, for some guys its playing some basketball with friends, others like to coach little league.

The purpose of NoFap or the purpose of our "Lift Lift Lift" mantra is to spur people to break bad habits and start forming good ones. They cannot stand on their own sustainably.

Try and stay with me for a second here. It is not about doing NoFap, it is about having better things to do with your life and time than sedate yourself with a rush for endorphins in front of your computer. Lifting isn't about looking good or being strong, but about self improvement and making long term investment in yourself.

mooseman44 · 2015-09-10T14:49:14+00:00

I get exactly the same thing. It's caused by a lack of abundance mentality. Since I can't get an abundance mentality because girls are never abundant for me, I just do other stuff and get on with things.

-Blixx- · 2015-09-10T16:08:38+00:00

The action of eliminating your bad habits has given you a healthy drive to approach girls. This drive is the purpose of eliminating the habits. The oldest part of your brain will always seek satisfaction.

Give yourself a few seconds to appreciate them, then get back to work.

The discipline to do this is not so different than the discipline to lift. The responsibility to do this is to yourself.

Approach if you want. If you decide to interact with them, set your boundaries. Tell them you don't have a lot of time and are busy with other things. It should be noted that depending on what they perceive your SMV to be, this is like catnip. Just follow through with being busy (lift, study, club) and spend the time you do have with them wisely.

You will end up with several reliable girls who consume very little time.

Edit: changed a word. added a sentence.

Now, get off reddit and get back to work.

swoleo_dicaprio · 2015-09-10T14:09:17+00:00

I used to get a feeling like this when I was younger. If you just go approach the first time you see her, you won't get this nagging curiosity.

TheGillos · 2015-09-10T14:12:33+00:00

It sounds like the death throws of a ego unwilling to go monk mode (which is essentially what you are doing), it's almost like you don't want to let go of the idea that your self worth comes from a woman's approval and attention.

I don't know you so it's hard to say.

My advice is keep on, deal with the discomfort, and continue kicking ass!

Rice_Fields · 2015-09-10T16:54:45+00:00

Lol, this thread just seems to come out at the right time for me. There was this girl standing in line in front of me, pretty cute, who stared at me for like 5 solid seconds.
I stared back, but somehow I was at loss for words today, and ended up not saying anything at all.

Well, suppose it had to happen sometime.

MentORPHEUS · 2015-09-10T17:50:04+00:00

I can relate, in my BP 20s I developed a few cringeworthy crushes. The last was when I was in Monk Mode starting a business from scratch and had no time for a relationship for almost a year. It never happened again once I learned some game, increased my SMV, depedestalized women, and the final nail was spinning a plate on the side.

Don't be ashamed of this tendency or try to tamp it down, rechannel it into self-improvement. Make YOURSELF the prize, make it a goal to truly internalize this mindset, and this issue will take care of itself.

Also, approach and risk being rejected. It isn't hard after a few runs and saves a lot of mental time and silliness.

RedSovereign · 2015-09-10T17:54:49+00:00

Post questions to /r/asktrp.

Factushima · 2015-09-10T17:56:29+00:00

Great post. This is close to home for me.

I can pull girls without trying but choose to forego most of them (they are unsatisfactory for having kids, a marginal job, ectl. I get serious oneitus sometimes because of this. In fact, there is are currently two unsat females in my office who are very interested in me which I want to get on this very second.

I deal with it thusly: 1) Fake it until you make it. Acting not interested will help you think you aren't intested.

2) Don't internalize any of the things females do to attract you. This means looking away when they walk by, not smelling their delicious sweetness, or flirting with them. This is hard as fuck. I practice on females I know I'm not approaching. Example: I catch a glimpse of a 9 on the street. Casually refuse to acknowledge her. You may underestimate the power of a good smelling female. Beware. Smell has serious neuro - connections.

3) I would suggest rubbing one out but I see you are giving that up. Fat girls are usually low maintenance (at least up front) so you can go that way. The single best cure for oneitus is blowing a huge nut on some girl.

4) talk yourself through it. Acknowledge what you're doing and discuss it with yourself. Remember your goals, run through your vision (1 year, 2 year, 5 year), and why she isn't right.

You are in a hard situation trying to go no-fap and no girls. Your own body is your biggest enemy.

Over the 7 years I was in grad school I had oneitus every day (it seems) but I got through and accomplished my goals.

As a side note, from what you write you'll be doing amazing once you get out of school. It is absolutely true, I've lived it.

Title	Recurring oneitis with strangers
Author	Red_Swords
Upvotes	4
Comments	21
Date	September 10, 2015 1:49 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3kee7s/recurring_oneitis_with_strangers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/recurring-oneitis-with-strangers.36268 https://theredarchive.com/post/36268

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