My wife, with whom I am getting divorced, just alleged to the court and to the police that, three months before our marriage, I forcibly sodomized her at gunpoint.

And then she married me. And then, because we’re getting divorced, decides she wants to #MeToo me.

Anyone have recommendations for an attorney, DM me. Any attorneys who know how I can bring a civil suit against her, DM me.

I can’t conclusively PROVE she’s lying, because it’s all “he said, she said,” so I can’t get her on perjury, but if you’ve got tips, let me know!

Women: not even once.