Had a taste of loneliness today.

ParalyticPoison · 2019-10-20T00:48:38+00:00

"Don't cross an ocean for someone who won't even cross a puddle for you." That's pretty much how I view friends at this point, if I don't see them valuing my company and time as I do for them, I likely will just stop hanging out with them, that's just asking to be thrown under the bus eventually with "friends" like that.

Sr_Nunes · 2019-10-20T01:22:46+00:00

For me, it's understandable to feel lonely sometimes (in my experience, one gets kinda used to it at some point), afterall, we are still human, we still may have social ties and the drama that implies. One thing I usually have in mind is "friends get to be less and less as long as you grow up", and that's natural (in kindergarten, you had the whole school and neighbour invited for you birthday, then, whole class, then "the gang" on high-school.. And so on. Anyway, for me,my turning point was when I started to both accept it (instead of ressent it) and occupy my time with something that would be fun or needed (optimally, both).

This is my path, and I hope yours get you to a similar point (similar or not) that works for you. (In myway of thinking, I'd also would have in consideration the options about the money I did not spent this particular night out (save it? Spend on something that might make me immediately happy? Spend it in gas and go for a ride/drive? ... Basicly, maintaining a positive way of thinking and sense of rationaly spend (or save) the time and money I just "won" and occupy my thoughts.

Just to finish (I know, I drift a lot, sometimes), "no one is gonna stock their neck out for you" - absolutely right*, my brother.. The trick for me was having a kind of a balance.. As someone already said (in other words): "don't threat like open bar who threats you like minimum-consumption". You'll only get better on picking this.. I know it's cliché, but experience also comes with error.

(I'm talking this on the social chapter, as I hope you have at least good parents - none of my business, but to remind their importance, if you can cherish them a bit sometimes.. For me, it is usually uplifting).

Hope you overcome your problems and get it the way you wanted. Cheers, brother..and sorry the wall of text.

Rafique678 · 2019-10-20T02:06:33+00:00

sorry bro

BlackPillPusher · 2019-10-20T04:10:03+00:00

Just get a bunch of beer a play a vidya you like, or read a book, a good show like true detectives or the wire works too, there's always something good you can do these days to have a good evening with yourself.

[deleted] · 2019-10-20T00:49:02+00:00

They're not your friends. It took me a long fucking time before I realized that sticking your neck out for your buddies is something they'll never do for you. Unless they're actual homies.

ppdeny · 2019-10-20T03:37:00+00:00

Go to r/stoicism and see how you can reframe these situations.

Zilo88 · 2019-10-20T04:25:03+00:00

I have no friends or regular social interactions outside my brother. It hurts a little, but loneliness is a familiar sting for me.

Better that than betrayal or heartbreak.

BadassGT-CS · 2019-10-20T02:29:55+00:00

You got us, Brother!!! Peace and Love!

JohnPettimore · 2019-10-20T03:06:01+00:00

It's helpful to remember that often, when you do go out with people, you look around and wish you weren't there, or weren't with them. Loneliness is that same reaction, just inverted. No way of life comes without down moments.

BlackBadWhiteGood · 2019-10-20T03:22:29+00:00

Same happened to me recently. I've disowned all my "friends" here and it's been the best decision of my life. They were toxic.

bambambam10 · 2019-10-20T06:03:03+00:00

Imagine being in a room full of your so called friends at a party and you can't relate to any one of them, but you pretend and pretend laugh the whole night. I'd rather be alone, alone, than be alone with a bunch of strangers, liars and hypocrites. But, hey, live your life, c'est la vie.

ValhallaBoundBoy · 2019-10-20T02:28:25+00:00

I don't keep people in my life if they can't be bothered to tell me that they're going to just not show up to our plans.

FlintAustin · 2019-10-20T03:13:48+00:00

You need your own schedule you fit other people/events in, not wait for others to shower you with favors to help you be less lonely.

It might sting to hear it, but speaking from personal experience, if you cultivate your time and life around yourself, things like that do not become an issue if you even agree to spend time with others in first place.

Have a routine - gym, books, whatever. Do not have time waiting to be filled by others.

Easier said than done - but its only way I know of.

thedukeinc · 2019-10-20T05:06:44+00:00

Hugs!!

MGTOWrath · 2019-10-20T07:17:42+00:00

You're just not used to it. I fucking love being alone. I never have to alter my plans for anybody, and if anyone needs me for anything they have to wait until I decide to give a shit.

HotAndColdSlaw · 2019-10-20T09:54:20+00:00

Humans are all centered around themselves. This is natural and correct.

Have friends, but do not expect too much!

Preston_1999 · 2019-10-20T01:05:43+00:00

I'm 20 and I notice a lot of friends and potential partners always end up flaking on me. I basically went for a 3 mile jog in a nearby forest preserve and picked up Jimmy John's to now work on some homework. First weekend off since college started back up in August and I was able to get this weekend off (I work Retail because I can work 40 hours with a full course load that's all over the place). I wouldn't sweat it just do things that can benefit or help you because most people aren't committed.

Malverde116 · 2019-10-20T09:40:51+00:00

Fuck it. Eventually you'll learn to be alone by choice. Blessing in disguise as you'll have so much time to ponder on what you can improve in your life & yourself! Remember if it hurts just know it's not your fault it's how our human brain was taught to act by years of evolution.

Jadenshade · 2019-10-20T11:25:35+00:00

"Count on no one, and no one can let you down." words I have learned to live by.

noobahoi · 2019-10-20T16:25:05+00:00

I know the feeling.

I have some good old friends who are married by now. They don't have much time so we sometimes just talk and play video games later at night. Although I do feel they don't really understand most of the challenges and different goals I have. And obviously I don't care about the kids and wife problems. So there is more space between us than in the past. ;-)

In the past I was putting too much resources (time, ...) in persons (thought of as 'friends') that didn't really give enough back. So I stopped doing this. If you do that you'll find out pretty fast who is your real friend and who isn't. The decrease from over a hundred 'party' friends to a possible few ones were pretty depressing but also very liberating. So the cards were on the table.

That shouldn't be a general friendship advice but I think guys or 'brothers' who are going the same life style cannot be found often locally.

That said I have no fast solutions for it. Good friends are very hard to come by these days.

Good luck to you. You'll plow through it.

7HornyHorse7 · 2019-10-21T07:22:04+00:00

I know your feels bro, if you need someone to talk to just dm me

inushishi_no_kaze · 2019-10-20T07:47:44+00:00

Friends are for women, you need to look for collaborations and get skilled people to work with you on hobbies/goals.

Men bond by aiming to common goals. Lazy, dishonest and opportunistic people get kicked out because they damage the effort of everyone.

Meanwhile "friends" keep backstabbing eachothers and keep going out together because they are all a bunch of opportunistic morons.

Title	Had a taste of loneliness today.
Author	greyflame_
Upvotes	81
Comments	27
Date	October 20, 2019 12:44 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/dkcfy9/had_a_taste_of_loneliness_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/had-a-taste-of-loneliness-today.393044 https://theredarchive.com/post/393044

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