On my first submission on here, I talked about a social media investment I made in college that paid off for me in a big way after graduation. In this post, I want to talk about a much bigger issue that is hardly brought up or discussed in regards to helping men because it is not such an easy issue to attack.

It is the desire of most men, whether we admit it or not, to date beautiful women.

Lets get this out of the way, you have only addressed half of the issues with your dating life by lifting and "learning game", but ignored the other half.

Looking better, feeling better, having more confidence, and having "game" are practically mandatory if you want to be that top 20% guy. Problem here is that on their own, they are just not enough. I know plenty of guys who are relatively good looking and charismatic, yet even after all that they are under-performing with women. A lot of them end up with less attractive partners and plenty of them have lackluster dating lives.

Because if it was as easy as lifting weights to look good, practicing your social skills, and being more confident then almost every guy would succeed. Unfortunately, most guys will end up ignoring the other half of the issue that is equally as important.

Location, logistics, culture, and how you fit into it at all. You have to put yourself in the ideal circumstances.

Think of it this way in terms of sports, your charisma/social skills and looks are like your raw athletic talent. The environment you're in as well as many aspects of it is the organization you're a part of. Even the most athletically gifted players will struggle to reach their full potential or even do that well if they end up in a terrible organization or one that is just a bad fit.

You can also think about as marketing, sure you might be a great product but you have to be great at marketing the product as well. The product will sell well in certain environments but not in others and sell better among certain groups than others.

I lucked out in my college days by getting a bid for a great house and it no doubt helped me. While guys in a respectable house might look better than the average college kid and have more charisma, what really made it all easy were the circumstances and lifestyle. You're expected to go out, party, talk to a lot of different people, get comfortable being around a lot of different girls, and the work is done for you.

Compared that to the college kid who isn't in Greek Life and has to try and approach a lot of different girls on campus and rely on luck. Even if he looks better and has more charisma, he will lose out to the guy in a good fraternity house time and time and time again. Right now, there are guys out there who aren't as handsome or charismatic as you but are dating beautiful women simply due to being in better circumstances than you are.

I noticed it for a short while after graduating college and moving back home with my parents for a few months. In that city most people were married by 25, the average woman was in no way attractive, and the whole hookup culture was frowned upon. For the few attractive women that were there, the good ol boys did everything to try and lock down and make life tough for any outsider that would try to approach them. Luckily, I got out when I did.

Enough about college, it carries over on to the real world too.

Guy 1 has a lifestyle that has him interacting with a lot of people, a lot of women, and he lives in a city with favorable gender ratios where single women slightly outnumber single men. We can say this guy is a 7 in the looks department and has above average charisma.

Guy 2 has a lifestyle that doesn't have him interacting with as many different women and he lives in a city with terrible gender ratios as well as just an overall lack of enough attractive women. We can say this guy is a 9 in the looks department and has great charisma, his dating life will still not be good as that of Guy 1.

The lifestyle you pick, circumstances you put yourself into, your environment, and how you fit into all of that matter a great deal. A lot of it has to do with how you're feeling and how good the environment is, this is not an easy thing to accomplish by any means. Tons of work goes into making a lifestyle where you are actually dating hot girls as a result of your lifestyle and not having to rely a lot on Tinder and random approaches to do it.

Look back to my social media thread I linked to, lucking into those social circles and spending time in them was far more beneficial to me than doing what pickup artists do and randomly approaching a ton of girls at clubs. Most of the times, these guys have already lost because the girl at the club came with her group and will likely spend the night with one of the guys in the circle she came with.

Seems like a lot of work doesn't it?

I have't even talked about how much of a role things like your ethnicity will play here as men of color tend to do a lot better with women in certain areas than others.

The lifestyle, being in the right city, putting yourself in the right circumstances, finding through trial and error what the right city is, and seeing how you fit in overall. A lot of it involves knowing yourself really well as well as knowing your environment well through observation and looking around.

It is a lot of work and it requires a great deal of luck as well. Very few guys actually figure all of this out but for those that do, it is one rewarding experience.