Why are some women bitchy, why are some children cruel, why are some men utter assholes?

Because they know that there are no consequences for it.

The greatest mistake I see many people make when they try to come to terms with being hurt is rationalizing their attacker as evil, malevolent, having a bad will. That is not the case. Humans are emotionally simple creatures. Give them a perceived advantage, and they will take it. Most are cruel as well, in the way that a cat is cruel. If they want to lash out, and they don't see any negative consequences, they will. If the negative consequences are in the future, chances are they will anyway. This is animal nature, and therefore human nature. It takes an exceptional person to not hurt someone they want to hurt when they know there are no consequences for it.

Because this is animal nature, the explanation for its origin lies outside the realm of morality. You cannot call someone "evil" for taking advantage of your weakness; they were merely average. Don't rely on painting your attackers and opponents as "evil" and "malevolent", because that becomes an excuse for their behaviour and your inaction. If they attacked you because you have a weakness that you can fix, they were simply being human. You were weak. Demonizing your attacker does not make you a better person. And, no excuses: putting yourself into a position of weakness is only idiocy.

That is the second mistake I see people make: they refuse to accept that they were weak, foolish, and too easily hurt. The "evil" of others is used as an excuse for not taking painful, slow, but necessary steps towards changing themselves for the better. The flip side of this is that the moment you put an average human in a position of power, they will abuse it by taking it out on those who can't fight back against them. Again, this is a natural consequence of human nature.

Does that mean that if you don't abuse your power, you're a "good" human? Notice in the first paragraph I called this sort of person exceptional. You are the exception, simply meaning that you are not usual. Maybe you're too emotionally weak to take what you can get. Maybe you understand that the long-term consequences of harming another are rarely- but sometimes- worth it.

This differentiates the good leader from the bad, the man from the boy. A good leader recognizes that leading well gives them the greatest returns in terms of long-term benefit. The petty boy simply grabs all that he can lay his hands on and stuffs it into his mouth. Again, there's no mention of morality, because there is nothing moral about this. This is animal- and therefore human- nature. Morality comes in when you judge the consequences, and as a society, deem these consequences to be bad, and the actions to be deserving of punishment. But the moment you ascribe the origin of this to an "evil" force, a "malevolence", you lose the ability to see people for what they are, and to improve yourself accordingly.

Bitchiness and Frame are two sides of the same coin, though they are not of equal worth. The former comes from a position of unassailability, the latter from a position of invincibility. Bitchy people are so only when they know nobody will attack them. Men with strong frame innately know that others will attack them, but that they are strong enough to endure, respond, and improve from being attacked. And by the way, being "invincible" doesn't mean that you can't be hurt- that's being invulnerable. Being invincible means you cannot be conquered, defeated, or subdued. That is, incidentally, why there is no substitute for going out and interacting with other humans- frame, like steel, only improves when forged and hammered.

That is the crux. You may be hurt. Assigning blame is only an emotional crutch that keeps you weak. The appropriate response is to ask "how can I make myself less vulnerable", "how can I become stronger", and "how can I be unconquerable"?