Intro

Many of you are MGTOW because of infidelity, I'd love if it you could help the blue pilled, newbies, and lurkers among us by sharing your experience. Cheaters are easy to spot in retrospect, but your heart clouds your suspicion, and blue pill propaganda makes you contradict your instincts.

Personally, being cheated on helped me wake up to female nature like an bucket of ice water. It was just too raw of a red pill to ignore. Normies can justify a lot of female bullshit, but infidelity is different. It's one of the best, if not the best way to strike the root of even the most stubborn blue piller.

My lessons learned:

Trust your instincts

If you ever get the feeling she's cheating on you, you need to listen to it. You may not get another warning sign. Whether you're right or wrong about the actual infidelity doesn't matter. The feeling is like an English Pointer dog; always directed at some dishonesty somewhere. Men have a sixth sense about these things, and that sense is oftentimes labelled jealousy by assholes. Guess who loves labeling it jealousy the most? Yup, the one's most likely to cheat.

Let me show you the difference: True jealousy has a neediness element to it that makes you feel like a toddler crying for a bottle. When a truly jealous person is accused of jealousy, they get ashamed or shy, they may even coyly admit it and spin it as sign of love.

Suspicion of cheating is different. It makes you focus and study your suspect. It makes you feel alert. It tries to draw connections and hone in on the truth. You almost feel like a detective. If accused of jealousy, you'd feel righteous indignation, or betrayal. Like you're being deliberately subverted. You'd get angry.

Someone who's willing to cheat on you is of course willing to lie to you, twist your suspicions, gaslight you, or make it about them. It's like saying someone who's willing to murder you is also willing to steal your money.

She did it to hurt you

After it's revealed, a favorite spin of all cheaters is "it's a mistake", "it happened once", "we didn't do that much", "he doesn't mean anything", "[insert self preserving defense here]". Yeah it's all bullshit. The surface level facts may be true, and she may believe it herself, but it's not the core truth.

The core truth is that she's punishing you. It's meant to hurt. Deep down you know it and she knows it. Don't worry about why. Why she's punishing you is irrelevant, it's specific to your situation, and ultimately it definitely doesn't make any sense. Once you get that the whole thing is meant to make you feel pain, you can process the phenomenon much clearer and easier.

Recovery is active or it gets worse

Going off that last point, the absolute worst thing to do is wallow and coccoon. Resist the urge to revel in your pain. You only hand her the win she was looking for, you will only make it harder to recover, and the pain will go deeper. Conversely, the absolute best thing is to make moves on other women ASAP. If you could fuck another girl immediately after the infidelity is revealed, that would be ideal. Shoot for that ideal.

There's a deeper reason for why this is. It's not to get back at her, it's not because PUA is the goal, it's not to try again with another girl. No, ultimately you'd want to go MGTOW. The reason you want to move on so quick is because it will nuke any shred of oneitis in your heart. Oneitis is the root of the pain. Recovery will accelerate very quickly after that you rip off that bandaid. It breaks the spell faster than anything I ever tried. Looking back, I wish I had just done it sooner.

If for whatever reason, you don't feel like you can do that for personal or moral reasons. Fine. Then, a good alternative is to occupy your time with something else. There is a belief in modern psychology of "letting it out", yeah that shit never worked for me. It just made it easier to wallow. Once I got productive, it helped heal me in a way that nothing else really could. Go get your shit done. Take it one day at a time, focus on your tasks for that day only. One hour at a time if need be. You just need to get over the hump.

Recovery takes a very specific and finite amount of time. Aka the hump. You unconsciously know what that length of time is, it's personal to you. You just need to make it through that chunk of time and the effects of the betrayal will lessen really no matter what you do. If you follow my above advice that chunk of time will fly by.

Block, ghost, go no contact

Obviously. There's no reason to explain this, but I will anyway. Treat her like you would someone who tried to murder you. What she did was wrong, stop entertaining evil people. You can only lose by getting in contact. This includes the logistics for getting your stuff back or moving. Don't make an exception for that or it will be used against you. Unless you really really need that thing back, I would advise you consider it collateral damage. See it as payment for this valuable lesson about women. You will save yourself a lot of suffering.

Also, I shouldn't need to say this either but: you never take back a cheater. But some people are slow, and need to be burned twice to realize that fire is hot. If you do take back a cheater, go ahead and stop reading here. You're not ready to learn through words yet.

Most women would rather cheat than break up

This may seem counter intuitive, but you gotta remember a few things about girls. On average, they care about drama more than principle. They like blurred lines rather than hard lines. They are non confrontational. They don't want to fix anything, they like it when stuff "just happens". They would never call themselves cheaters, instead they would always use a euphemism and spin it like it's your fault (even in their own minds). The thrill of cheating is a unique feeling that they can't really recreate any other way, and what's more, they'll feel a sense of FOMO if they don't do it. The guy they are cheating on you with is most like a monkey-branching target, so he will be painted in her mind as "perfect" and you as "the prison".

Add all that together and i'm surprised that any women go through the trouble of an official breakup at all. So if you're mad because "she could have just talked to me and ended it maturely", your response to that should be "did you think you were dating a dude?"

All women are capable of cheating

After your recovery you may be tempted to NAWALT. It's important you don't fall into that trap or else you may set yourself up for a disaster in the future. I'm sorry if this is news, but every woman has her price. I resisted that truth for longer than I'd like to admit, what helped me get that through my head was the following thought experiment.

Imagine a wealthy asshole targets your girl, and says "hey i'll offer you _____ dollars to cheat (pick a number it doesn't matter). However, the one condition is your SO has to believe its real infidelity not my proposal. You never get to tell him otherwise, if he ever catches on the deals off." You think any woman is gonna turn him down? There is a correct number to put in that blank for every girl. If not money, then something else. This is especially true of young hot girls. If you're struggling with this, at the very least you have to admit they would be tempted, and you can go from there.

Once you accept this fact, if you do decide to date again, you will not be under any delusions that she can't jump ship at any time. You wont lie to yourself that it can't happen to you because your love is "oh so very special and unique"TM, and "she's my rational self aware unicorn and cheating is for dumb girls"TM

Oh and that reminds me:

The smart ones cheat more

I'm ashamed to admit that I thought my relationship was "too smart" to have infidelity. That cheating was a problem for low IQ "fly by night" meaningless couples. Yeah no. It's the other way around. Dumb girls cheat less because they know you're smarter than them and would be more worried about getting caught. Smart girls think they can out maneuver you, they think you wont notice. They are more likely to try their luck.

Think about it, are you more likely to cheat on an exam if your proctor was smarter than you or dumber than you?

I used to think that a smart girl would have higher self restraint, that if tempted she was more likely to say no. That's mistaken. Restraint is on a different axis than intelligence. Dumb girls can restrain themselves perfectly well, and smart girls can rationalize their lack of restraint perfectly well. Besides it's women were talking about, there's plenty of scientific evidence that their restraint on average is lower than an average male. So you'd be safe in assuming that that any average girl is less restrained than you.

I have more but this is getting long enough as it is. I can post a followup if this is valuable.