The past week I had a conversation with a gentleman regarding trouble he's having sticking with his recently adopted low-carb diet. He explained to me that when he gets stressed his habit is to calm this stress through consuming a few different foods that are "Diet Kryptonite", meaning that they consist of high levels of both fat and highly processed carbohydrate. As the conversation continued, I dug into his mind using the Socratic method, to ascertain where this habit came from.
This is one of those things that any man focused on improving himself should do every once in a while, sit down, outline habits you perceive as contrary to your goals, or unproductive and determine where they came from. As Scott Adams says, we are biological computers, and we often internalize small fragments of code that end up having massive consequences on how our operating system functions.
When I made my first attempts at self-improvement I failed quite spectacularly, often due to habitual behavior. Thus, I found myself in the position of engaging in "Self-psycho-analysis" to try and determine the source of some of these habits that I'd ingrained over the years. Furthermore, determining where these habits came from so that I could avoid ingraining new ones that conflicted with my goals.
Seemingly innocuous messages that you received in childhood can stay with you for a long time, and continue to influence your behavior in a negative or positive fashion for decades. Some learn ineffective use of defense mechanisms, others self-sabotage, accept mediocrity, and never challenge themselves to go beyond their comfort zone.
Where do Habits Come From?
From the time we are born, we are socialized by our families, our peer groups, and many other influences. The classic "Kid raised by the TV" for instance is a person who is largely socialized by a fictional environment created in order to convey a coherent narrative. Humans learn by mimicking other humans, by internalizing values and mindsets from other humans, and through the reactions they experience from other humans.
Something that happened to four year old you, may still remain in your subconscious and influence your behavior 20, 30 or 40 years later, sometimes even more. When Freud spoke of the super-ego, these types of internalized childhood events and messages, may be deeply ingrained in your inner rule-keeper, and thus override progress that you need to make in order to gain a balanced ego and ID.
To draw some examples of each, a person to whom it is communicated that he is worthless, often reacts in one of two fairly predictable ways, he either develops a superiority complex or an inferiority complex. Thus, he either tends to grow into a narcissist or into a codependent. In the case of the former he is ruled by his ego, in the latter he is ruled by his super-ego.
A person to adopts the habit of food as a coping mechanism, most likely learned this from a relative or member of their peer group who had this exact habit. One can argue that "well my entire family is fat it's genetic" however this is often only halfway true, as it may also point to a family that all have internalized food as a coping mechanism. This is an example of the ID overriding both the ego, and the super-ego.
The Effect on Game
When it comes to game and seduction, we are also dealing with ingrained habits and narratives. A man who adopts a blue pill framework will develop a habit that can be categorized as "blue pill game", where his habits when it comes to attraction mechanics is based around the narrative his super-ego has internalized from childhood.
This includes such truths as the "just be yourself" and "soul-mate myth". The flawed logic of "if it your approach did not work this time, she wasn't the right girl", the egalitarian myth that both sexes think and function in the same manner, and many others. These myths and fallacies that he has internalized serve as the foundation of his behavior, and repeated behavior become habits.
Thus, when the blue pill man arrives in the manosphere, whether he arrives on this blog, another blog, the red pill reddit or various other places, he has to unlearn the various "truths" that he has internalized, often without being aware of it throughout his life. This is in many ways a very traumatic event, and the man often goes through the five stages of grief when he begins his journey. He also must internalize new habits in order for his behavior to appear natural.
This is one reason for why the early PUA advice used to be "learn 2 - 3 openers and do 100 approaches", over time this will become the man's natural response, furthermore, it will help him get over issues such as approach anxiety. In essence, it is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy for blue pill men. However, in order to get to this point, the man must identify the habits and ingrained beliefs that are holding him back.
Read the rest here: http://blacklabellogic.com/2017/04/03/red-pill-logic-dangerous-habits/
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