Motivate me to get past my sexual anxiety.

NeoreactionSafe · 2017-06-12T22:44:05+00:00

Too much porn watching will give you performance anxiety.

Remember who is the boss... it's you... you are the boss.

So let's say the girl makes an advance on you and you aren't into it in that moment and aren't hard.

What do you do?

Well... you can finger her if you want... a finger bang is fun.

Or you can give her the chance to suck your dick and that usually will get you hard.

Finally you can just say "No" I'm not really into it right now.

Even if you start you can stop.

Every sex session need not end in ejaculation.

The main point is you need to care about yourself before you think about her.

Also, you can just "fool around" for a while too.

Slow teasing is lot's of fun... get each other hot and horny, but don't let is go directly to the act.

If wham bamm thank you maam isn't your thing then don't do that.

The-Hardball-Player · 2017-06-13T04:11:38+00:00

I'm a baseball pitcher (was in college. Now trying to get drafted) and I'd like to share with you how to turn performance anxiety into performance excitement.

I remember taking the mound for my first college game. I've never been too confident with my accuracy and our coach told us "If you can't throw strikes, you will not throw half of a fucking inning. I don't give a fuck".

I came out from the pen and walked two guys.

That was my season. That might not mean a lot to a loser but I've got the biggest ego in the state. I didn't like that too much.

I was so worried about it happening again that it just got worse and worse. I couldn't even play backyard catch without overthrowing it and hating myself; calling myself a fucking piece of shit under my breath.

That was then and a lot has changed since.

Now, I've always given girls the best dick of their life, but I think I can share with you how to deal with the pressure of performing in a stressful situation.

Stop blaming yourself.

The world will blame you enough. You cannot go through life judging yourself the way you probably do. Stop the self-hate. Your worry is 100% internal. It is you judging yourself for making a mistake. Even if someone else gives you shit, it always comes back to how you respond internally. If you realize that no one and nothing can MAKE you feel bad, you will realize how powerful you really are. You are in complete control. No coach can make you feel bad. No teammate can make you feel bad. AND NO BITCH CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. Only you can make you feel bad.

Anxiety is just excitement in disguise

That isn't fear, it's ADRENALINE. You know what adrenaline does? It makes you STRONGER. I stopped seeing adrenaline as fear and started seeing it as opportunity a long time ago and since then I've climbed a mountain, gone bungee jumping, banged tons of girls and you bet your ass I LOVE taking the mound. Adrenaline is a sign that something is important. Important things are the things we live for. Stop being afraid of the rush of life and change that silly "fear" into PASSION. Dive headfirst into the things that scare you. Embrace it! Invite that bitch over and be COMPLETELY happy about it. Be EXCITED for it and SMILE!

Sometimes you need a slap in the face.

Go to the gym. Drive fast. Listen to ACDC on repeat while you walk around the house without a shirt practicing Karate. Whatever you wanna do that gets you fucking hyped, do it. Get the blood flowing. Get out of your head and into your body. None of these are actually a "slap in the face" but you need to immediately get out of your head and start feeling like a badass mofo. I like listening to the last full minute of "Killing in the Name" by Rage Against the Machine where he screams "FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHATCHA TELL ME" on full blast. That's my shit, man. Find YOUR shit and get hyped. The mood will turn your whole day around.

Become process oriented and detached from the outcome.

When I'd take the mound, I'd think "I hope I don't walk this guy". That's the worst thing in the world to think and for multiple reasons. 1. Walking a guy is results based. 2. "Don't do x" tells my subconscious to do x. 3. Focusing on ANYTHING besides what it takes to actually perform successfully is going to detract from my ability to perform successfully. I fixed this by changing my mental self talk and by changing my goals.

Before stepping on the rubber, I focus completely on my breathing. I say 4 things under my breath to remember to make sure my mind is in EXACTLY the same place at all times. I feel and think exactly the same when I succeed as when I fail. There is no fear, just a consistent and focused desire to win and nothing else.

You can apply this by changing your goals. "Make a girl happy by not cumming early" is the same as "I hope I don't walk this guy". See? It is results based, subconsciously sabotaging you and distracts you from performing successfully. Be excited and build up positive emotions (step 3) and once she is actually in your arms, only focus on the NOW. Be completely focused on fucking her YOUR BEST. No more "I hope I don't suck". Start thinking "lets see how good I can do!!" Not because you care about her pleasure but because you take pride in fucking like a champ.

Do it more than once.

Abundance mentality all day. Just rinse and repeat and it'll get easier and easier. You got it man.

Go kick some fucking ass and go smash some fucking pussy bro! Make that bitch squirt and ruin your carpet haha.

[deleted] · 2017-06-12T22:04:25+00:00

because I fear their judgement if something were to happen.

You still have women on a pedestal. Need to work on knocking them off. So what if something bad happens. So what if she laughs at you and says you have a small dick and tells all her friends. Then what.....nothing, that's what. You still continue to live the life you want to live making yourself happy and you go find a hotter one next time. She aint shit. Look at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself you're the shit, and text that bitch.

Don't think, just do.

OGlancellannister · 2017-06-12T21:58:11+00:00

Honestly just take a vacation and go HAM. Your rep doesn't matter there. My buddy said it did wonders for the anxiety, not caring if she told anyone he was shit. Otherwise, you gotta just do it man. Everything is exposure; this problem is in your head. I've had times when I've been piss drunk and my soldier is slouching. I just laugh, go down on her and finger her, and every time it comes back. It's when you start to get nervous that you screw yourself.

RastaTyler · 2017-06-13T17:17:43+00:00

Pop a perc and fuck for hours

alefmale · 2017-06-12T22:10:03+00:00

The more you think about it the faster you will come. That's true and you know it. Be willing to fuck up. You can do research about specific techniques for not coming so fast, like kegels etc., and these do work sometimes. Yet, as a great alpha once said:

And it make me cum fast but I never get embarrassed

-Kendrick

I come fast too. It sucks. I've gotten the hang of it, but you're right, it is tough with the first time banging a girl. Just finger the fuck out of her and slap her pussy with your dick to turn her on and shit (it works). At the same time: drop every single fucking worry about coming too fast because they will only make you come faster. No doubt.

StuttBuffer · 2017-06-13T03:56:32+00:00

Been there bud. Many, many times. I actually ought to make a post about anxiety-induced ED, it has happened to me so many times with different partners. I've come to a few realizations.

First is that I ultimately cannot control whether my dick gets hard or not. I've learned to be very zen when it comes to this. It is freeing to just accept whatever may happen and roll with it. It also helps to have some embaressing experiences, mope about them, and then move on. The embarrassment has almost completely faded for me, even after continuing to have issues relaxing from time to time.

Secondly, understand that your sexual conquests do not have to fit into any kind of predetermined timeline or match the "one night stand" model of hooking up that we see on tv. Sex is about pleasure, so do it on your own terms, at your own pace, and in situations that make you comfortable. Basically make it about you.

And thirdly, when it comes to the girl, keep in mind that from her perspective, your ED is possibly caused by some kind of failure on her part. If she wants to blame herself, do not twist the knife, but don't correct her either. And never apologize for something like ED.

Remember, it's out of your conscious control, and the girl has a role to play in making you feel comfortable as well. As soon as you can genuinely accept the fact that you might just not get it up sometimes, you will find yourself more relaxed and will in turn have big ole boners on deck for the woman folk to pleasure. Best of luck to you and your boners.

OneRedSock · 2017-06-15T21:07:12+00:00

Aside from The-Hardball-Player's response -- which is straight gold -- I'd like to add a little insight from Dr. Viktor Frankl on issues with anxiety:

Treatment of neurosis

Frankl cites two neurotic pathogens: hyper-intention, a forced intention toward some end which makes that end unattainable; and hyper-reflection, an excessive attention to oneself which stifles attempts to avoid the neurosis to which one thinks oneself predisposed. Frankl identified anticipatory anxiety, a fear of a given outcome which makes that outcome more likely. To relieve the anticipatory anxiety and treat the resulting neuroses, logotherapy offers paradoxical intention, wherein the patient intends to do the opposite of their hyper-intended goal.

A person, then, who fears (i.e. experiences anticipatory anxiety over) not getting a good night's sleep may try too hard (that is, hyper-intend) to fall asleep, and this would hinder their ability to do so. A logotherapist would recommend, then, that the person go to bed and intentionally try not to fall asleep. This would relieve the anticipatory anxiety which kept the person awake in the first place, thus allowing them to fall asleep in an acceptable amount of time.

Dr. Viktor Frankl's logotherapy actually shares some similar tenants with Stoicism, in that one of his most famous quotes is:

"everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances".

The dude survived a Nazi concentration camp, and I always recommend checking out his book "Man's Search for Meaning".

Ozu-desu · 2017-06-12T22:23:59+00:00

well, aclutally you can buy viagra without prescription on overseas pharamcy But i feal the same shit like you. Its terrible and unlike you i already tryed with other girls and it was all down and only alcohol helps to just find some strenght to fuck her. I have no answer for you cuz i still fuck every week my ex and this is some kind of loop. Same as you i will read answers on this subreddit.

Title	Motivate me to get past my sexual anxiety.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	25
Date	June 12, 2017 9:27 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6gvazi/motivate_me_to_get_past_my_sexual_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/motivate-me-to-get-past-my-sexual-anxiety.43930 https://theredarchive.com/post/43930

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