I made a post the other day about just going ahead and nexting girls that you know you should be nexting. It got a lot of upvotes, but also some comments saying I'm not free if I'm posting about it on here still.

Well, yes, I'm still posting, but I made another personal advance that I want to share.

So you've nexted a girl, and you feel like you've moved on. Then you realize she may be at a social event you'll also be at. What do you do? Scramble to invite 5 hotter girls? Carefully put together your outfit to be your absolute best looking one yet? Plan when you'll be drinking what so that you'll be in a perfect state of mine when she [may] arrive?

I've done this for years, and today something clicked. By doing so I'm just signing the oneitis agreement again - there's no freedom in planning this sort of "revenge" all day. Which led me to realize:

  1. You should be planning your life to be the best no matter who's going to be there. Look and dress your best. Invite the people you want to invite. Plan those drinks so you're tip top all night. If you think it'll impress "her" just think what better girls you might attract instead, which will be a hell of a lot more rewarding than pissing off someone you nexted. Which leads me to...

  2. She doesn't even give a shit. The girl you nexted probably won't show up. She probably won't even think about you. You're burning up precious time you could be advancing your career, lifting, meeting new people, whatever - to invest more time in someone you nexted who doesn't even care about you. Which leads me to...

  3. Even if she does care and is bothered by you nexting her, you've just wasted 12 hours for a tiny bit of joy. You could have tenfold that joy by meeting a couple new girls at the event, and she'll be tenfold as pissed when she sees it. And if you're not so wound with anxiety of what nexted girl will think, you might actually have a good time at the event, meet cool people you're not romantically interested in, and my last point...

  4. You'll walk away from the event feeling like you truly enjoyed and furthered yourself which is all the validation you should need. Why indirectly seek validation from someone who made your life such a hell that you completely cut her out of it?

Hope this helps some of you guys - this is a revelation I needed to make, because it's a mistake I keep making. Winning isn't proving something to somebody else, it's proving to yourself that you're the best you can be.