AITA for answering my boyfriend's question about my large "bodycount" honestly?

442 points•726 comments•submitted by haramthe to r/AmItheAsshole

Hello AITA...I loved reading this sub but always thought the times when I was an asshole was pretty cut and dry...yet here I am.

Dating an amazing new guy for about 2 months, definitely developed feelings for him and I find myself trying ways to squeeze in "I love you" to see how he responds, but so far haven't. He is the guy I can see marrying, having kids with and growing old together. He's amazingly handsome, great job, athletic, charming and funny and amazing in bed.

After we got done having sex last night he said he had something very awkward to ask me, I was a little worried that he was going to say something to ruin his seemingly perfect interior and exterior. But he said he wanted to talk about how many partners we've had in the past. I told him flat out I didn't think it was very relevant and that I really like him now and that was all that mattered. He blurted out that I was only the second girl he's ever been with (He's 27, I'm 22). I was like blown away because as good as he is, I would figure he has broken hearts all across the country.

I told him I was not comfortable with this which he correctly took to mean I'd been with more than 2 people. He kept pressing and pressing and I kept trying to deflect but the problem was that each deflection made it seem like I'd had sex with more and more people. So finally I was just like "ok, i'll tell you but you have to be honest about that's what you really want" he said he promised he wanted to know.

So the thing is I don't know the exact number but I started having sex at 14 and went through a really long phase of sleeping with lots and lots of older guys. My best guess is that I averaged about 12 guys a year from 14 to 20...so in those terms it doesn't seem that bad, but when you blurt out "around 80" in front of a guy who you are really falling for it sounds awful.

He was like shocked...he asked again if I really meant 80. I said it could be a little more or a little less but 80 was a good guess. He freaked out, put his clothes on and left pretty much without saying a word. I tried to text him to please talk to me and the only thing he's said since last night is "I have a lot of thinking to do."

I'm devastated and don't know what to do, I really liked, even was falling in love with this guy and feel like I screwed up for doing what he asked me to do. Should I have lied to him?

Am I the asshole?