It's very easy to put off another person's behaviour or general attitude towards you simply by saying "It's the way they are that makes them behave with me this way". This is a missed opportunity in disguise and it's a sign that you're getting too comfortable in life. Don't don't don't ever get comfortable for too long. We all need a break from time to time to be lazy or do something of no importance at all or even cheat on the rules and lessons learned here from time to time. That's what makes you human and not a fucking robot - the fact that you are for all intents and purposes an unpredictable creature is what makes you different, unique (in the sense that no two people are truly alike - we all have our own ways of doing the same thing). It's when you get stuck in la-la-land fantasy world that life will come back to bite a chunk outta your ass.

If your coworkers make fun of you it's not because they're dicks - it's because you're behaving like those people that deserve to be made fun of. Your frame is shit and you can't keep a conversation. No value is added by you to the group and you might be irrelevant, needy or annoying.

If girls are not taking you seriously then you're not doing what it takes to get them to take you seriously. What do you do for a living? How much do you make? Do you have any interesting sides to you or are you just another 'bar guy dude' type of person? Maybe you spend too much time thinking of women and believe me, they can smell that. Women don't want guys that want them. Period.

Do you have a good relationship with your boss? Does he/she treat you as an equal? If your answer is no then you're not getting that promotion (unless it's one of those promotions when they know you're the best donkey around so they can pay you more and give you more work).

It's important to be interesting. At the end of the day what people really care about is being entertained, having friends, telling good stories and not being alone and if your presence does not exuberate that then you are not an Alpha. An Alpha lives his own way. He does not care about 'what ifs' and he certainly knows how to turn bad situations his way in life. It's the raw confidence of knowing your shit and how to get things done and truly believing that no challenge is untriable. Every mountain can be climbed and failure is a part of it. Eating cheetos and masturbating three times a day to x-art will get you nowhere. Finish your last wank, be ashamed of yourself and stop doing it. You need the testosterone to keep you energetic, raw and impulsive (hint: women like that).

Women don't want to deal with your problems, they will NOT help you. If you're with someone then don't give in to them. They are not 'mommy' and they will not 'love you anyway'. They are women. They are nice and cute and cuddly and if you would be smart enough to treat them like you would treat your male friends they might suck your dick once in a while.

It's you that's the problem. Not the world.