Guidance for Divorce

drizztdourden420 · 2018-09-25T22:51:48+00:00

Borrow money for the retainer. Get a GOOD lawyer. It will be the best money you spent even if it takes time to pay off. Also, fight for 50% custody of the children and make sure to split not only the family assets, but the family debt. If you get 50% custody, then child support should be reduced. If she can't show that she can live on her own then you may get more than 50% custody and owe even less, although it sounds like she'll go after alimony if she's jobless. Once she does get a job, have the lawyer file for lower payments based on her income.

You have to play hard ball during a divorce and don't give anything away, fight for everything. Otherwise you'll get screwed. Even if you have to pay for lawyers out of the family assets, it will show her that you're willing to drain everything between the two of you if you have to. That might make her back off from making demands that are overboard and that she'll know you'll fight, spending down both of your assets.

Sorry, but this is the process. Fight for the kids so that the child support can be reduced since you'll be taking care of them half the time. Also, it will surprise her and possibly scare her that you want the kids. That's what she's going to go after because that's the lion's share of her meal ticket. If you threaten that, then she and her lawyer may be more willing to deal and/or make further concessions.

Be ready to follow through on what you ask for.

Sorry this is happening. This is why MGTOW say never to get married. Guys always get fucked in the divorce.

Good luck to you and keep us updated.

Gr8bellsoffire · 2018-09-25T22:06:41+00:00

You are screwed brother. I really wish I had some better advice for you. You needed to find us years ago. You are in the midst of divorce rape.

Find a way to get through it. And STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM WOMEN.

If rent is paid by disability then go total hermit mode, cut out everything. You dont have a choice.

Hang in there man. Shit can be replaced. Its an ugly road you going through now. Get through it and FFs learn and dont ever let a woman do this to you again.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2018-09-25T22:24:57+00:00

You find out where to get a retainer. Find it somehow.

If you do not, you are fucked beyond every measure. Sadly a lot of men in that position either take their own lives, kill their exes, or end up in prison.

throw_7 · 2018-09-25T22:29:36+00:00

I live in that area, maybe we should go get some BBQ some time. Don't have any advice for what you're going through though.

pike91 · 2018-09-26T00:54:22+00:00

You need to get legal representation. Period. You cannot live on that amount of money, and you can't be expected to provide a decent place for your child to stay with you either.

This is going to suck, and to swallow your pride to do it, but you're going to have raise funds. SELL something - sell everything you can live without. If you have a relationship with your parents, ask them to help you with part of it. If you have any relatives or friends - ask them. Get the money to pay the retainer.

BenAdler1 · 2018-09-25T22:20:23+00:00

Yea I'm thinking i am pretty screwed too.

mh0290 · 2018-09-26T02:17:35+00:00

You need a lawyer brother just like everyone else is saying. When I got divorced having a lawyer was 100% worth it. Lawyer saved me from getting wrecked in the divorce. You can win just don't give up and don't ever stop fighting for your child.

KneeDeepThought · 2018-09-26T03:46:15+00:00

Definitely ask a bank, friend or family member for a loan. Lawyers are expensive but worth it. For example my atty cost me about $25K but saved me that much within less than a year after the divorce. That 25k has now paid for itself almost four times over in getting a better settlement.

I recommend going to your local court and talking with an atty there first, there is typically a day per week where some atty is giving out free advice/directions at the probate courthouse so check their schedule and go talk to the atty who's got the duty that week. This should help you with some of the paperwork and such, which you can try to take off your atty's hands to save some $.

If the judge is not a throbbing ass canyon, you can shoot for an amicable split: she should get nothing from you life you had prior to the marriage and only 50% of savings generated during those years. Same for your benefits, if you were only married ten of the thirty years it took to accrue those benefits, then she should only be entitled to splitting a third of them with you, or one-sixth of the total value. Your atty can go over the details and such with you but this is the tactic you should be taking. No one can live on $150 per check, this is totally unreasonable.

And brother it pains me to tell you this one but you may need to use visitation as a bargaining chip. The odds of you getting 50/50 time split is pretty low but you can offer to drop the visitation fight if she stops trying to raid your retirement, etc. It's calculated and painful tactic, but the odds are you won't be losing much time with the kiddo and will be saving enough money to help him out later. It's your call but just know it's an available option.

Lastly, be ruthless. Don't give her any ground to protect the kids or anything. If she has ever hit you or committed any crime, use it against her like she would with you. You are playing for all the marbles now, so fight for every inch and exhaust her will to fight on every hill she's not willing to die on.

I've got a ton of legal stories and shit so hit me up here if you want any more info.

nu_leaf · 2018-09-26T06:32:12+00:00

I'd head over to /r/Divorce for support. Sorry you're going through this. If you have decent credit, I suggest you get a Chase sapphire preferred card and use that for the retainer. It will give you $500 back for spending that money. If you can borrow from someone/somewhere else to make pay the credit card bill and avoid interest, all the better.

I finalized divorce last month. Whole thing cost $2300 in attorney's fees. I did my damndest to come to terms with the ex and put it to paper instead of fighting it out in front of a judge. If that's possible, go that route. If not, you may have to go into debt now to fight so that your long-term outcome is better. Good luck. The lawyer is worth it. Retainer in my case was $1500 fyi.

Title	Guidance for Divorce
Author	BenAdler1
Upvotes	12
Comments	14
Date	September 25, 2018 9:55 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9iwibz/guidance_for_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/guidance-for-divorce.485910 https://theredarchive.com/post/485910

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