"If I don't stand up for myself now- I'll never catch up."

"I'm such an idiot to think I could coast through life. It's going to take everything I've got overcome this world."

"Life is alot like weight-lifting: you need to push yourself to your limit- only then do you actually start making progress."

I supplement my BJJ/wrestling with weight lifting. Brown belt that drops in once in awhile comes in and fancies himself one of the instructors. He heckles my weight lifting and has made some comments about me missing days (I'm my dad's caregiver.) I told him I'm a full-time caregiver to which he responded, "that's the biggest bullshit excuse I've ever heard." Fuck this guy.

One day, I'm lifting weights while the class is drilling and the BrownBelt walks in. He sees me and says to me-

"Why are you lifting weights and not doing the class?"

I ignore him and finish my sets (head phones on.)

Later, I step unto the mat.

"Get off the mat." he tells me.

"Huh?"

"If you don't do the class, you don't get to roll."

"You're not the coach."

"Get off the mat." he repeated.

I sit there for a second, and I ask myself, "is this the kind of man I want to see when I look back on this day?"

No, it's not. I wanted to remember a man who handled his shit.

So I turn to him and say-

"Where do you get off telling me I can't be on the mat when you came in after me? What's with you and [AmateurFighter] always starting shit? Who the fuck are you to tell me when I can and can't be on the mat? Where were you for class?"

"If you have such a problem with it, don't talk to me, talk to the owner. Better yet, let's go talk to him right now."

"Stop talking to me."

"I hope you feel that way next time you feel like coming up to me and saying stupid shit."

The coach is like an uncle to me, I explained to him ASAP what happened. He wasn't surprised: the brown belt has issues. He was behind me on this.

Present yourself as weak when in a position of strength, to draw out your opposition. You gain a better understanding of your opposition and their opinion of you. If they don't pounce, they respect your position. If they attempt to seize the opportunity, they don't respect your position.

I apologized for my language a week later, I wanted to see his reaction when I presented myself as vulnerable.

"Hey bud, wanted to apologise for my language earlier, got alot of shit going on with my family (sick father.)" I placed my hand on his shoulder.

He doesn't skip a beat, he simply looks at me and with no warmth, he goes on a lecture-

"Word of advice, when addressing a higher belt- especially at an MMA gym- you need to be respectful of the belt color. You disrespected me, you disrespected everyone on the mat, you disrespected the Coach."

"I figured the respect between two grown men would take priority over the color of a belt."

"All I'm saying is if it was my gym, you'd be gone."

"Well, be assured I wouldn't sign up for your gym."

"I'm just saying if it was-"

"I hear ya, but it isn't your gym."

He walked off, and that was the end of that.

The respect between men trumps all other hierarchical structures.

When I attempted to educate him, he resisted. His value in his life comes from his belt. I illustrated that value is derived from the strength of men and not the Creonte structure that he's managed to climb. You'll come across this in every setting: business, gym, etc.

Your manager thinks himself your better because you're an employee.

Your teacher thinks himself your better because you're his student.

Etc, etc.

Don't get sucked into this. Own the room, own the environment. The coach treats me like a business partner rather than a student because I don't let myself get drawn into the Dick measuring contest of belt color.

Merit and ability is the only metric you should be measuring yourself against. Your worth isn't defined by the recognition you receive from others, your worth is defined by your own perception of yourself. Simply don't leave it in the hands of others, otherwise they'll sell you short.

Shit tests come from men when you attempt to move yourself from the bottom to the top of the hierarchy in your established environment.

If you do not tackle issues head on, you'll only defer the payment with interest. It never gets any easier, in my experience.

The fear you felt today will only be greater the next time, because then you've established a history of cowardice that you can look back on to justify your continued cowardice.

You cannot adopt an appeasement strategy in order to handle difficult conversations. You must be a man of decisiveness. You must be a man of action.

People will test your strength throughout your life. Don't wish for life to be easier, wish for yourself to be better.

Don't run off and say what you would have done given time and opportunity.

The opportunity is right in front of you to prove yourself. The time is now to stand up for yourself.

Who's to say you won't die tomorrow? Who knows? Don't let your last days be that of a grovelling bitch attempting to gain forgiveness and acceptance from some nobody.

Stand up for yourself. Be somebody important. Be someone that matters. Your life is a full-time job.