I am the product of two incredibly strong male role models. I am also a formerly obese man who was an incel for roughly five years of my life. Someone looking at my example might think that those men failed me somehow, or that I was just a born loser. Neither of those things are true. The truth is that the world we live in now has changed, and I applied lessons that no longer have any validity while ignoring others that did because I grew up safe and sheltered from the harsher truths.

My grandfather was a WW2 navy pilot in the Pacific Theater. He married a beautiful woman and lived with her for 50+ years before his death. His daughter, my mother, married a young government man at age 18 and they are still together today. In theory, this foundation should have meant that I too would have a healthy marriage and a stable family. That was definitely not the case. Looking at my father and grandfather as behavioral examples, I dated women from 18 to 25 looking for a lifetime companion. I wanted someone who would be a great mother and a faithful wife. The women in my family are educated and outspoken, so I had no illusions about wanting some kind of demure housewife.

As you guys have probably predicted, this pursuit went HORRIBLY. I got laid a lot in college, but none of those "relationships" turned into anything. The few times I found women I loved turned into twisted episodes of oneitis that left me shaken and disturbed. When they were done playing with me and moved on to other guys, I couldn't understand what went wrong. I was trying my hardest to be kind and understanding, chivalrous, and generous. I was patterning myself after men that I saw as above reproach. What was wrong?

The elders on this forum all know why I failed. I failed because those two men are from another world than me. They're from a world before hypergamy, before the axiom of AF/BB. Expecting my life to proceed along the same lines as theirs was a miscalculation on my part, not theirs. I did not adopt the techniques that successful men around me were using because I thought they were "assholes." I didn't understand the psychology of the modern women because I thought it was "sexist". I did everything I could to ignore the impotence of my approach until eventually the sex dried up and I became a fat beta, orbiting a few women that I still imagined would be great wife material (ha ha). That would have been the story of my life: "Fat guy does nothing. News at 11." And all because I held onto outdated social constructs that made me feel good about myself.

So now I have TRP to thank for filling in what my father and grandfather could never have known to teach me. The other reason I posted this, though, is to say that there is still plenty to learn from your elders. My father and grandfather ALWAYS kept frame. When life was tough, they never let their wife or kids know. They didn't suffer insult, but they weren't fucking dicks always looking for a fight. They were cool guys, and strong men. They just weren't what I needed to be to survive in todays world. Let's make sure that when we look to the past we are carrying forward those traits which made those old guys so fucking cool, but don't forget that this isn't 1944, it's not 1978, it's now. You will adapt, or you will die fat and alone. I'm not saying this to be cruel (quite the opposite). I hope I can reach that one "nice guy" who hasn't heard this yet and let him know he can still be a great man, but being a nice man won't cut it anymore.