Men who have been to marriage counseling, Did it help?

rich_mc_78 · 2019-02-22T16:00:41+00:00

I went. It helped me to finally realize that shit wasn't going to get better and that it was time to be done.

So yeah, it helped, but not in the way most would think of "help"...

drunkoldman58 · 2019-02-22T16:09:55+00:00

[deleted]

Maximum_Afternoon · 2019-02-22T16:45:17+00:00

It did not help.

Because I was already capable of listening to what my (now ex) wife said. She was upset that sometimes, after listening, I still said 'no'. In her mind, if I had TRULY listened, I would have of course agreed with her.

drunkoldman58 · 2019-02-22T16:14:52+00:00

Went to a couple. One was an actual real marriage counselor, I truly think he knew I wasn't the problem as I would basically just sit there while he was dealing with the wife at the time, she of course caught on to this and said this counseling shit don't work so we quit going. 2nd time the marriage was all but over and went through a church counseling thing, separate from each other, as the concept was to each have our own person to speak with and those two were suppose to bring us back together, haha, convinced us to try 6 more months again before ending the marriage (Because of kids, I'm sure) but it was pretty much over with. For me I already knew who the problem was, so this didn't work for me, maybe somebody else has had success?? This was over maybe a span of like 3 years or so.

rooster-one4 · 2019-02-22T16:27:08+00:00

It made things worse, she used things said at the counselor to attack me with new content. She didn't last 3 months after the 2 sessions.

47omek · 2019-02-22T16:46:17+00:00

Went for about a year before giving up and got divorced within a year of stopping. I did everything the therapist asked of me and the ex made lots of excuses and didn't change anything. Women generally don't believe they're doing anything wrong and if they do it's your fault they're doing it.

Current wife is worse, she thinks if she gives some fake "Thanks" that it makes us even for everything I do for her and the family and she doesn't need to reciprocate or pull her own (considerable) weight in any way.

darkmanilluminate · 2019-02-22T17:43:45+00:00

Nope. Waste of time.

Although I went looking for “resolution,” whatever that meant, and what it came to mean is “I am done with this BS.”

Have not looked back!

jstrockmeyer · 2019-02-22T16:34:17+00:00

In my case, the therapist said it would start with face to face with me, then with her, then couple sessions...

She refused her face to face (after having mine) because "I am not the one who needs a psychologist"

I would not put my eggs in that basket, even if I was with a NAWALT. Whatever real conversation did not fix, nobody will fix.

Older_Miggy · 2019-02-22T17:08:13+00:00

No it didn't.

Her mind was already made up, it just gave her another opportunity to bitch about me and try to generate sympathy.

And why did you get married?

Marque01 · 2019-02-22T18:37:48+00:00

In a word, no.

I know of two instances where the woman insisted on marriage couneling and the men wanted nothing to do with it. Both times, when the man finally paid for the sessions, the women involved used it as a time to tell their spouse that they've been cheating for months.

They just want the doctor there so they can tell you and figure out how to make it your fault.

miltonsyncom · 2019-02-22T19:09:15+00:00

I went to one. Feminist counselor hated men. Everything was automatically my fault... no matter what I said. It wasnt until the 3rd (and last) session that she I finally got her to understand my position by playing the “tell me counselor what would you have done?” scenarios.

But in the end it was a waste of time.

drunkoldman58 · 2019-02-22T16:40:19+00:00

Wow....just the few comments on here and I swear we were all married to the same women...UGH!

NietzscheExplosion · 2019-02-22T18:49:14+00:00

Hahahahahahahahahaha

IFollowedTheRabitt · 2019-02-22T20:55:17+00:00

Went for 8 weeks - zero help.

Every session was the same. I was always 100% wrong. Counselor literally had not a single "suggestion" for my wife on anything I was concerned about. At the 8th session I found out that my wife had know this person all of her life (family friend and piano teacher). Finally everything made sense. She filed a week later, and her male "friend" moved into my house 12 hours after I moved out. I didn't know she had been cheating, and obviously it did not come up in counseling - only my behavior.

From talking with others, I think women use counseling to absolve themselves of any guilt as they prepare to move on. They have no intention of actually working on the marriage. Plus, she LOVED to tell all of her friends how hard she was working on the relationship.

CiceroVoltaire · 2019-02-22T21:11:08+00:00

It helps you spend your money. Never tried it. If you get to this point in a marriage, time for self reflection: what are you trying to save and why? Do both of you want the marriage, or just one of you? If both, then work it out with each other, no need to pay someone.

IMO.

IME.

Davegvg · 2019-02-24T14:17:42+00:00

Nope - waste of money time and effort.

Title	Men who have been to marriage counseling, Did it help?
Author	Cruxito1111
Upvotes	13
Comments	34
Date	February 22, 2019 3:58 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/atj7n9/men_who_have_been_to_marriage_counseling_did_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/men-who-have-been-to-marriage-counseling-did-it.509370 https://theredarchive.com/post/509370

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