TL;dr: Older woman holds me hostage by delaying starting a family, to keep the relationship in Blue Pill-mode. I leave, go Red Pill, works. Then she tries to convert back to Blue Pill.

Me: 27, reformed hipster/dirtbag. Got laid regularly and partied a lot. I got away with Blue Pill thinking for a long time riding on looks and bad behavior, paying for it now. ex-anarchist, hipster, alcoholic, sigma male coming out of the deep end and into the light.

Her: 34, six-figure creative professional. Stoner. Very hot for her age and super hot during her youth. Came from a catholic family and had only four sex partners besides myself. Very low for a single 32 year old (age when we met). No kids.

Then: I meet her at a low point and she takes me in and doesn't try to change me. Share a million interests and the sex is great, so we stick together despite the age difference. I help her sort out her loans and money stuff (not giving money, just managing her disaster finances), she helps me with mental/physical healing from a bad lifestyle. All good.

Break down: Two years later our careers are sorted out and our lives are on track. I realize I must have a family to be happy. I do some research and find out how fast fertility rates drop, and the huge increase in syndromes and autism as a woman approaches 40. I don't want that.

Immediately explain to her the importance of a family, and why we need to start soon. Go to a fertility clinic and hear the same thing from a doctor.

Now this is a blue pill relationship: I am explaining the situation to her, giving her the information, and presenting the facts as they are. Thinking that she'll respond with logic. She responds with a smoke screen: We must have a lavish wedding and correct all of "our" problems (aka anything you do that doesn't please me) before we can think about having children.

The truth was, she wanted to keep me, but didn't want to have kids yet. Reality be damned, science and doctors be damned.

She wants to stay hot, young, and rich forever. Sex In The City living. She's got a bunch of bitter 30-something single-forever female friends and gay men who spend lots of money, talk shit on the straight males in their lives, and have no potential to raise families. They get jealous when she spends too much time with me, her fiancee.

So she's living in that world, and Blue Pill living hits me really hard. My own Blue Pill wall. No amount of youthful good looks or hipster/sigma male behavior will get me out of this situation.

The marriage requirement is revealed to be a total smoke screen and not necessary for her. It's all about "getting along" --- basically, anytime I disagree with her or don't follow her allowed behavior patterns, we aren't getting along.

So, she will give me permission to have kids with her when she decides to, giving me no power. I now have to "work on getting along better". While we wait, our chances of us having a retarded child continue to increase. She has no concern about that.

I tried to reason my way out of this for six months and then realized how insane it was. Futile. I left. Dumped her and moved out. She started to see her wall fast approaching.

Now: I come across /r/theredpill. I immediately realize where things went wrong and I'm bummed about it. I still love her, so I do what's best and go into Red Pill mode. No sentimental communications, challenging her on every form of feminist abuse she can dish out at me.

And it brought results. She did some soul searching. She realized how toxic her friends can be (on her own, I've never even complained about it), she realizes she wouldn't be happy without a family, she wants me back and is ready to have kids.

So I go to visit, and we fuck for two days. It's all back to how it was before the fighting started. She's talking about "when we have kids" and all that.

The broken record spins on.

The next day, it starts again: "Well, we can't have kids until we're married and start getting along again." Back to square one.

Despite me dumping her, despite everything she said, the problems are all back on me. It's up to me to win her back again, in her eyes. I wanted to scream "I DUMPED YOU."

I'm not falling into this trap again. I gave her a simple ultimatum. The next time we see each other will be in our first couples counseling session.

Congratulations if you read this far.

If you have any advice, I would appreciate it. I am working out a Red Pill approach to this dysfunctional situation that doesn't involve just dumping her. Two years invested, my love, and a deep sexual connection is what I'm fighting for.