[Serious] I want kids. Pretty sure I have to be married for that to happen. What do I do? / How do I know if the girl is right?

0xdada · 2016-02-22T01:45:34+00:00

There is no right woman. It's what you bring to it. Accept the man you are, select against any with obviously self-destructive tendencies, and roll the dice.

WardlyHasted · 2016-02-22T00:42:49+00:00

How do I know if the girl is right?

Honestly, you never will. There are definitely certain things to look for -- and red flags to avoid -- in a potential wife, but even if you think you've found your unicorn, remember: unicorns don't exist.

More than 50% of marriages end in divorce. This is a reality and not just some horseshit statistic you can ignore. Seriously, flip a coin and call it. Those are the same odds you have of getting divorce raped.

Let's say you want to go skydiving. They tell you ahead of time that 50% of parachutes don't work... but it looks like so much fun! All your friends are telling you that skydiving is great. Society is telling you it's your duty. Your parents say, "Son, we went skydiving when we were your age, and look -- everything turned out fine!"

So you say, "Fuck it, I'll go skydiving." When you get to the skydiving agency, they give you the parachute ahead of time. They say, "Hold on to it as long as you want. Inspect it and look for defects or anything that doesn't look right. Then if everything looks good, come back and we'll send you up in the plane."

After your inspection, you determine that your parachute is fine and that you want to go skydiving. But here's the thing about parachutes: the only way to be 100% sure if it's going to work is to jump and pull the string.

Praeda18 · 2016-02-22T00:00:55+00:00

You don't know "if the girl is right", seldom few are in this age as I'm sure you've learnt from reading through this sub and seeing the world for what it is. It may just be me, but this sub-reddit has been the worst and best thing to ever happen to me in that it offered me the resources to learn to survive in this unforgiving world, yet simultaneously destroyed my innocent & naive worldview that "we all get the girl in the end and everything will be OK just because that's how it works".

If you want to have kids as per your biological imperative, then do so. But also be aware of the risks having children in this day and age can have such as losing half, if not considerably more, of all your shit because "I'm not haaaaaapppyy".

There are a lot of people on this sub-reddit, and more so in the real world, who are happily married in a functioning family environment with a Captain>First-mate dynamic. For instance, my old folks have been together for 46 years and they've remained faithful to one another thanks to my old man's ability to defuse situations/shit tests from my mother and his stern and consistent approach toward raising his children and handling his shit. Thanks to this all of his kids, including those from his previous marriage, grew up in a stable, traditional environment and we've all got our shit together.

That said, as stated before, this isn't the 1950's where you'll get married and die old together like my parents will, something something Disney fairytale ending; as jaded as it sounds, C'est La Vie: Such Is Life. AFAIK 70% (don't quote me on that) of marriages end in Divorce in the US, which can be absolutely crushing for children as growing up, I watched a lot of my friends drift away due to their own familial environments collapsing and they seemingly had no support foundation on which to rely (n)or return home to.

Apply what you've learned here to your life and to finding a suitable wife if you want to head down that route as I imagine spinning plates when you're older can feel very empty and unfulfilling and you should be OK. Like shit dude, I'm only 22 and despite how much I'd like to have a family so my parents can see their kids starting their own little circle of life, I know by the time I'm old enough to even consider that, at the rate things are progressing now I know it's just a fantasy and offers a poor ROI for my time, resources and money I'm currently developing for myself.

It probably sounds silly even reading advice from someone as young as me, but it's a different perspective on things. Hope this helped and stay safe bro.

WhiteKnightFgt · 2016-02-22T06:13:12+00:00

It's a difficult question. Especially since most surrogates are druggies or stupid.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2016-02-22T06:48:53+00:00

You can have a long term relationship and kids without being married. It's more common than ever nowadays.

If a woman insists on getting married before having kids with you, then what does that tell you about her? She's unwilling to commit to life with you without a government contract that says she can fuck you over anytime she wants by taking half your shit plus alimony. That's not commitment, that's hedging her bets.

madhatter393 · 2016-02-22T03:35:50+00:00

Find a girl worthwhile that you trust.
Has good genetics and isn't a slut.
Have her donate you an egg.
IVF. that's one option

You wouldn't believe how willing women are to donate eggs. I've seen people put ads up for ridiculous amounts of money. Sometimes you just have to ask.

2016-02-22T05:41:49+00:00

Surrogate mother. Yes, it is done by single men. I would have done it, and still may if I end up divorced.

PabloEscoba · 2016-02-22T08:01:02+00:00

The problem with marriage is when the honeymoon period is over. Modern women feel ENTITLED to be in a constant euphoric state of "love" and tingles. We all know this is ridiculous and not practical but NOT to women. Now when they no longer get their tingle fix from you, its pretty much over. Not only will you get blamed for her lack of happiness , you will also lose your kids and half your shit. These are the odds you are dealing with. The choice is yours.

verify_account · 2016-02-22T01:21:13+00:00

You don't have to get married to have children. This is not a complex problem OP. Let me break it down for you simply.

1). find a worthwhile girl

2). fuck her

3). raise your children

In no way shape or form to you have to marry her in order to "maek bebe."

tb87670 · 2016-02-22T06:54:50+00:00

There is an option that I am considering, it's serious Dark Triad. Know how they say around here single mothers are toxic? That's because they are not married, but those same women when married? Non-toxic. Make a cuck out of her husband. This is optimal male mating strategy if you think in a cold manner. Remember there are no morals in sexual reproduction strategy. The end result is the same, your DNA is spread. The important part is that you have to invest literally zero into that child resource-wise beyond whatever nutrients you consumed in making sperm, prostatic fluid, and in the act of sex itself.

We read these stories all over this place, guy has several kids and only a few were his, or the woman who has two sets of family pictures with the kid and his fake dad and a set with them and the alpha dad no one knows about but her. There are cheating married women all over Pornhub getting busted in raw dog with strange men. My main qualms over going rawdog with random women is I had to have a few STD tests from some scares. But think about it, married women = way lower chance of STD's. It's almost like a pre-screening process. And these women with sexless bedrooms they crave that high from being busted in, the sterile gal I was with admitted I was the first to rawdog inside her and she kept commenting how happy she was and how well she slept that night. After the fact those married bitches will go through extreme lengths to hide what happened, from having shit fits over the guy wanting dna samples of the kid and accusing him of cheating, threatening divorce if he doesn't stay, laws set up so that after a few years that guy is forced to pay for the kid regardless of paternity: again here at TRP we have the gamut of stories.

Don't enjoy the decline, I absolutely hate what it's doing to the human race. But be honest, the way things are right now cucking a married man into raising your kid is THE most effective method of sexual reproduction available to men right now bar none. While we are stuck here at least admit the rules we live under and embrace the decline for your own benefit.

EDIT: Forgot to mention strategies to employ this sort of plan. First when picking married women keep it within your skin color. This isn't due to any racial BS but due to camouflage. A white woman married to a white man squeezes out a black quadroon? Yeah, plan failed and he's not signing that birth certificate unless he's a complete bluepill cuck. Don't rely on that, it sounds like a starting story of what could be a future TRP member and why he joined lol.

Beyond obvious color does the woman have other kids? If the father has step-kids to already worry about then his attention is already split between what he supposes are his kids and the bastards he's already legally cucked to care about anyway. This is also another form of camouflage, as your kid could resemble the other step-kids enough to falsely convince the cuck that 'his' child just has extra looks from it's mother's side.

Another factor, the man. If you share similar traits like hair or eye color or general build (stocky, lanky, etc.) then this is the ultimate form of camouflage. One of my brother's friends had to paternity test his kid because his ex's new guy looked just like him almost to a tee and he learned she was fucking him during that same time period, it was like a freaky body double. In motion from 10ft away you couldn't tell them apart. Yes, it would be awkward to ask a woman if you can see family pics etc. I'm not asking you to do that. If possible to gain that intel you can increase chances of successful cucking of a bluepill if you do look similar enough to him but do not push the subject.

2016-02-22T01:37:18+00:00

Not to quibble...shit, yes to quibble...RP has no dogma in the end.

But to many, 'don't get married', is rationality masked in dogma.

alisonstone · 2016-02-22T06:46:31+00:00

There are certain things you can look for (and certain red flags to avoid) in women to improve your odds. You probably know them already. But what is even more important is to be honest with yourself and figure out what type of guy you are. That is probably a bigger determinant of whether marriage is a possible strategy for you.

For example, if you are 35 years old, but broke and working a minimum wage job, you are probably not going to have a successful marriage. You can be good looking and you can have the confidence and personality to get laid easily (technically high SMV), but the financial strain will most likely break any marriage. That is why divorce numbers are extremely high in poor socio-economic classes and low in higher ones. That is one aspect to think about, but there are many others. Some types of guys will have a lot better odds in marriage than others. High SMV doesn't necessarily mean being able to maintain a stable marriage.

massimoliani · 2016-02-22T10:38:28+00:00

Just go slam your dick in crazy. Spread that seed. Screw hanging around. Embrace your inner Shaquan.

adam-l · 2016-02-22T11:20:03+00:00

I respect your wish.

But just to make sure, you do know that having children correlates statistically with being more unhappy, right?

Also, as a man, do you want children for the right reasons, or the wrong ones?

anonymoustrper · 2016-02-22T11:31:12+00:00

You can try moving to countries where the divorce rates are low, but that still is no guarantee, the government will implement feminist policies that will raise up the divorce rates. In short, there are no guarantees. Just hold out, date/plate as long as possible (also as many varieties(ethnics, countries, economic background etc..) ) and afterwards pick someone based on heuristics you've gathered over those experiences. (And hope it'll still turn out alright).

That's the advice I'd give a 18-year old self today and one that I didn't follow. So weight it by that prior..

2016-02-22T02:01:09+00:00

I would like a family someday as well but be very careful. Be as pragmatic as possible when deciding on a worthy spouse. That means the following:

Look for red flags
Honestly evaluate yourself
Look for green flags
Read the sidebar again
Go to asktrp and ask them
Ask any red pill dads for advice.
Don't be a moron

Adopting is an alternate method provided you don't care about the whole bloodline thing.

2016-02-21T23:40:44+00:00

Here's one resource that I know of: http://thefamilyalpha.com/ and I'm sure this community has more to provide. "don't get married" is excellent advice because before people go for that, they make sure they're well informed as you are doing right now.

bokehnikon · 2016-02-22T00:50:01+00:00

The dogma of RedPill is don't get married

Not necessarily ironclad dogma, but it's just an awareness that modern marriage carries a tremendous amount of risk to a man.

Thus, you must balance the risk of your marriage and life imploding vs. the rewards of raising children in a two parent household.

Life is full of risks. Going out and driving in your car carries risks. Risks can be mitigated and hedged. Have your ass covered legally (prenups, etc). Learn Marriage Red Pill thinking. Raise your children well, so even if mommy goes crazy they'll still respect you. And if the choice for a wife is between crazy HB9 vs a much less crazy 7, go for the 7.

Moldy_Gecko · 2016-02-22T01:18:28+00:00

I wrote a long and detailed post about this. I got married, had two kids and ended up here so I know what I am talking about. The post was titled:

Sexual (reproductive) strategy

Moldy_Gecko · 2016-02-22T05:52:18+00:00

Wanting kids is NOT a minority opinion on this sub (how long you been here?), but marriage is. Your best bet is to hunker down, make boatloads of money, then get a surrogate.

DaphneDK · 2016-02-22T09:04:00+00:00

You also have the choice to find some girls who you know are sluts. Check out this guy: I'm a 24 year old guy who sold a business I started and moved to Cambodia and now live with my two "girlfriends", ask me anything.

the99percent1 · 2016-02-22T09:37:51+00:00

There is a baseline criteria a marriage worthy girl needs to qualify for.

Low partner count, is not a bitch, is supportive and caring, knows how to take care of herself, can follow through on instructions, invests in you & respects you amongst the highly rated criterias. Along with good quality sex, submissive behavior, and just generally treating you like a king or the man.

After the baseline, you need to mold her such as get fit and eat healthier, shape her feminine character and attitude, teach her to tame her hamster.

Usually, this is a painful experience and ends up with you being frustrated or dropping the girl entirely.

But after she finally cleared these hurdles, she's marriage worthy and ready to start a family.

Shit happens, kids get involved and the sex life does go to shit. That's probably the primary reason why most couples get divorced. Especially if you are more RP aware than others.

Dread only works on a woman who still cares. If she doesn't, even with you openly fucking another girl, she wouldn't even flinch. Then you know your sexual relationship with her is over. You cannot negotiate desire and you need some betatitude caringness, commitment in a marriage to work. Dread ups the desire at the cost of security. It is a delicate balancing act that is very hard to get it right.

At the end of the day, you cannot predict how your monogamous relationship with one girl will turn out over a lifespan.

If you want to get married and have kids with a proper high quality girl, you've just got to take the plunge and do it and trust it turns out alright.

Marriage is TRP in hard mode. It doesn't get any riskier and harder than that. You can mitigate the risks by doing what I've mentioned above, but at the end of the day, marriage really is a role of the dice affair.

rockumsockumrobots · 2016-02-22T10:02:59+00:00

I want to have a lot of children.

what's a fella to do?

Start working on building the world in your image so when the current regime collapses/is outed, you are prepared to accept the ideological refugees.

I would recommend starting here: http://counter-currents.com

LifeMedic · 2016-02-22T01:29:43+00:00

You have a few options;

Get married - go spend some time on the married redpill to get a better idea of things over there.

Get a girl pregnant and don't marry - Make sure you have plenty of money, you're going to be using a lawyer enough to make him your best friend (even if things are amicable).

Make a lot of money and move to a single men adoption state - You'll need a lot of money and a respectable background.

GrandmasterHurricane · 2016-02-22T01:40:29+00:00

You don't need a ring on her finger to cum inside her.

scarletspider3 · 2016-02-22T03:50:08+00:00

If your status is high enough you can knock her up without getting married. It's really not a good idea to have a lot of kids because you better believe that you will be taken for child support one day. If you find a 'good' woman, it just means that she'll at least wait little bit before taking you for child support.

Just make sure you spend some time getting to know this girl first. If she can't take care of her man then what makes you think she can take care of your kids? Also don't mention anything RP and really listen to make sure she isn't a feminist.

azrise · 2016-02-22T01:02:35+00:00

This is a question I have often asked myself as well.

In this regard I certainly do not share the pessimism of most RP men. People here forget that Redpill theory is fundamentally limited and incomplete, especially the AWALT principle. Why? Because all of RP theory is based on the observations, reflections and ultimately contributions of several members which base their conclusions on their own experience. In essence, this means you have a group of men who interact with a group of women and take notes from what they observe. But what is this group of women that they interact with? When you read Field Reports around here, you realize 95% of the women that RP men meet is either at some party/club or tinder/okcupid. So basically our experience is based on this type of woman. The type of woman who likes to party and date online. ALL RP theory is based on women of this category.

But what about women who absolutely detest clubs (or don't go near them for cultural/religious reasons) and who dislike the concept of tinder? What about women who are introverts and would rather spend their time reading at some quiet place alone? RP men and even PUAs rarely meet these women because they are not found at clubs or tinder. So how reliable is AWALT really? Probably very reliable, but only when it comes to a certain type of woman.

My advice is, if you want to have a family then look for the type of woman who dislikes going out at night to a club, who never had a tinder, who has a strong bond with her family, etc. These women do exist and they are not that rare. It's just that they are much harder to meet.

Moldy_Gecko · 2016-02-22T00:31:29+00:00

Relocate to the Philippines. Become friendly with the local enforcers. Build a compound and pay off the local VIPs. Impregnate as many native women as you desire and raise your offspring as you wish within your compound.

Your duty will be to support the mothers and their families as you mold your offspring into successful adults.

Pretty straight forward.

Moldy_Gecko · 2016-02-22T02:21:33+00:00

Having kids just to pass on DNA is stupid. You waste your life and money on them, and they might be losers or not even procreate.

Metalgear222 · 2016-02-22T04:13:21+00:00

Also post in ask TRP not the main sub

2016-02-22T01:16:33+00:00

Why don't you donate sperm?

2016-02-22T01:50:48+00:00

I'm in a similar boat.. I'd like to have a kid.. Here's my take.

I'm willing to try marriage once.. And only once.. If I ever come across a decent woman that is

Title	[Serious] I want kids. Pretty sure I have to be married for that to happen. What do I do? / How do I know if the girl is right?
Author	QuTangMayne
Upvotes	11
Comments	67
Date	February 21, 2016 11:32 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/46xy70/serious_i_want_kids_pretty_sure_i_have_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/serious-i-want-kids-pretty-sure-i-have-to-be.56452 https://theredarchive.com/post/56452

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