TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

[32F] "I wanted to fuck around on my boyfriend, so I suggested we have sex with other people and he left me. Now, I've wasted my prime years on a commitment I pulled the plug on."

Itsbbbitch

March 25, 2018

226 upvotes

/r/MGTOW

http://archive.is/9JGI8

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Post Information

Title	[32F] "I wanted to fuck around on my boyfriend, so I suggested we have sex with other people and he left me. Now, I've wasted my prime years on a commitment I pulled the plug on."
Author	Itsbbbitch
Upvotes	226
Comments	76
Date	March 25, 2018 10:37 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/86zyms/32f_i_wanted_to_fuck_around_on_my_boyfriend_so_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/32f-i-wanted-to-fuck-around-on-my-boyfriend-so-i.577607 https://theredarchive.com/post/577607

Comments

[–][deleted] 153 points154 points155 points 8 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]Orig_analUse_rname60 points61 points62 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Blankaccount1115 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rebuildingMyself32 points33 points34 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]rebuildingMyself11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]NotMyWomen8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OldRoad7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

To your advice, I think a lot of guys here would say, "Been there, done that." I wasted 15 years of my life on failed dating experiences -- would you want me to waste 15 more years? I gave more than enough of a chance to dating; for me, I've reached the conclusion that there is just nobody for me, that I would want to marry, that would also be good for me and that would like me. Maybe for some other guys it is different, but from what I see from this group, there seem to be many many guys in the same situation as me. You can understand why the argument to simply waste more time, without some reason to believe that the results would be any different from past results, just doesn't persuade me really at all. Trying something, and failing, for 15 years is a really long time.

Also, regarding the following that you wrote:

Iamaragorn42 wrote:

I would rather remain naive and hopeful than cynical and hopeless.

This doesn't describe my experience with MGTOW at all. I'm happier NOW than BEFORE I was MGTOW! The reason is that, before, I was frustrated and repeatedly disappointed with dating. I thought it was all my fault, and that most guys were having more fun and success with dating than I was. It was try, try, try, try, and fail, fail, fail, fail.

Now MGTOW did not solve that "problem" -- instead, it taught me that there wasn't really a problem to begin with! And I learned that there were LOTS of guys with experiences just like mine -- basically I learned that I had the typical expected experience for a guy dating these days. I also learned that guys who did get to easily date women that they are attracted to, also often became disappointed -- often in a worse situation than I ever was, when you look at divorce, financial situations, etc.

So: (a) I learned that I had unrealistic expectations, and (b) it might not have been so great (or it might have even been really bad) if I had found what I was looking for.

I'm happier being MGTOW because I learned that I was disappointed and frustrated because I was chasing after something that very likely does not reasonably exist for me to find. That's a silly problem to have -- the problem was created simply because I believed something unrealistic. So I let go of those beliefs, and problem solved! There is literally nothing really there for me to miss out on, that ever could have reasonably existed for me.

Second, I know it's not my fault. It's the dating system's fault. There's almost certainly not "someone for everyone" in the dating world.

Third, I enjoy understanding why things are the way that they are. I find that to be satisfying. The ideas I've learned from MGTOW pretty much explain EXACTLY what I experienced in the dating world. I just didn't want to believe this stuff before, and the mainstream won't tell you, so a guy will just go on and on, being hopeful and then disappointed. But it's all very simple, once someone just states it. This is much better than those mainstream dating guides which just tell you to be confident, try harder, and keeping putting your best self forward -- then you follow their advice, and it doesn't work.

[–]DarwinianKEKistani6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kaczan35 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (27 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]DarwinianKEKistani7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]misandrists_hate_him1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Docbear6412 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

They know what men want, they hide their knowledge with the old " I just thought everything going on between us was innocent schtick" that way however things turn out they can act exasperated and shocked. " I had no clue if I went out alone with another man who I thought was cute for drinks and then agreed to go into his apartment that I'd end up having sex with him ! Life is so strange and confusing !"

That's the kind of bullshit that leads to the kind of stories posted the other day about teenage boys getting killed over false rape accusations " The mean old man took advantage of my naive and innocent nature, you Know a perverse thought has never entered my head" then men buy into that bullshit because they want to believe the best of their wives, daughters, oneitis's , and attack their " abuser" .

Honestly it's the oldest trick in the book for women .

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]BayouZaine6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]NoThirst3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Captain_REEcard4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Men and women can't be friends. I've always known this, but had oneitis for this girl who fit the NAWALT illusion. I actually believed her friends were just friends.

But no, some of them were her exes. Some of them were guys she wanted to date but it never happened. Some of them wanted to fuck her but got friend zoned. The biggest group being the friend zone guys.

I did eventually get over my oneitis. Discovered red pill philosophies. And when thinking back on it, I couldn't really make fun of those guys she has orbiting her. I had to admit to myself that every girl I became friends with was a girl I started out trying to date. And looking back, I could see the moments I boxed myself into the friend zone by my beta-like behavior of the time. Every one of those girls I had a chance with, but I blew it.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DarwinianKEKistani4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]BayouZaine5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]dancing_leaves1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree, but I am in the friend zone with an attractive woman that contacts me when she's single and those interactions have given me a lot of experience with women that helps me get other women. Being seen with her has also acted as a sort of wing man situation where other women have become more interested in me when they see me with an attractive woman.

So as a red pill thing, as long as the guy doesn't embarass himself, spend money on her and do other such things, it can be educational. In my case, I never really caught a lot of emotions over the girl because I asked her out right away and got shot down, so I ended up just paying attention and learning from it all from the vantage point of the friend zone. It's a fine line between what I'm doing and being a simp. And maybe I'm being a simp but I've learned a lot from it so I don't feel an ounce of regret. Plus it got me out of the house and socializing so probably a healthy thing if taken in the right context.

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]dancing_leaves0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you for the most part. In the case of my attractive friend, I would be a bit unable to "catch feelings" and have a real relationship with her, due to the red pills handed out by her by seeing her behaviour as a friend. As well, I'm in my 30's and getting a lot of attention from women. So it's at the point where I don't really need my friend to offer me sex; sex comes easier with other women anyway. So my friend is using me for attention and such and I'm sort of using her for knowledge, as a wing man and a couple other things. It's an exchange. Most types of interactions with people are some type of exchange. If everyone is cool with the circumstances of the exchange, it should be OK.

I also think that there is some nuance to male and female interactions; such as hanging out at a family gathering with a sister-in-law. I'm not imagining boning her. Obviously there are societal rules and such that help shape/condition males in such a situation. But a unattached female with no familial ties is obviously a different situation. But men can and do become conditioned to organize women into different categories based on various factors; from social taboos to their own preferences.

So I stand by the idea that a male and a female can be platonic, it just isn't easy to find the right balance. I think that most guys are going to fall into the beta orbiter position. But alpha's or low-tier alpha's (maybe high tier beta's?) can manage friendships if they have other means of gaining sex/intimacy from women.

[–]Kempiet-2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]askmrcia3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]deadBeefCafe201428 points29 points30 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lostapwbm21 points22 points23 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Yashugan0019 points20 points21 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]constitutionranger16 points17 points18 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rebuildingMyself9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Drayelya15 points16 points17 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]badmanahgwanso9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]charliebrownau8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Phantom_Spark7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainspider19996 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[+][deleted] 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[+][deleted] 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]GranUnic0rn2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GranUnic0rn2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Global_MGTOW5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SuperPCUserName3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]verynormalsimple1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]CursingWhileNursing19 points20 points21 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Why? I have seen women doing this a lot of times. Even the fake reasoning is here.

He is compatible he satisfys me competely. I just though a little variety would be a little better for him also not just me.

She is happy, until she meets someone who makes her "feel the tingles again". Then the inner monolog starts.

"Thinking about this guy makes me wet... But... But... it's wrong... Is it REALLY wrong? My SO is not giving me this feeling of being newly enamoured anymore... Yeah,I think it is HIS fault! In fact, I think he never gave me that feeling of being loved... it's TOTALLY his fault! Yes, I can totally fuck this other guy and my SO totally brought this upon himself! And by the way, HE will benefit from this too, because this will bring a breathe of fresh air into our relationship!"

[–]2QuietDude5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChrisBrownApologist2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]A_Fucking_Phantom2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fkn_Ra2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Rick_The_Mullet_Man2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Trail_of_Jeers1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]icew1nd031 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DeathcampEnthusiast1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thisissocietysfault0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AirplaneNote0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]0kool740 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mpadt0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]StoneTempleFlyboy0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter