I don't know what's going on, but shit is flying off the shelves on both my Main well reputed ebay account that I sell Enterprise and Networking & test equipment on, (20 years, over 10,000 feedback, 100% positive feedback), and the burner account I use for consumer goods (Consumers suck. They love to bitch. Sometimes they will neg you for simply the package arrived slowly in the holiday times, or because they found out their son died in a car crash. Sometimes they will neg because they bought a XXX laptop that was working fine, but they neg because the laptop is too heavy, has too few USB ports, whatever.)

I've done a week's worth of business in the past few hours- I have no idea why, but I'm celebrating, and hopefully I can give back to the community here.

So, sales tips. Even if you don't work in sales, you may be able to apply this to your life.

The first and most important tip: Never screw anyone. Never do anything in a dishonest way. If a customer pays you $17,763 for a $1,763.33 sale, get on the phone ASAP and tell them.

The gratitude and trust that will earn you is worth far more than the 16 grand that they were probably going to catch onto anyways. Over the years you're doing business with the customer, you will probably get over 16 grand in extra business from that one guy, because he has such a good opinion of you.

Are you selling something with defects that the customer may not notice? Describe them in depth, takes photos of the defects, make sure the customer is aware. Not only is it the honest thing to do, it's the smart thing to do- you don't want to be dealing with returns, lose the sale, lose your shipping and handling expense, and have to relist the product.

The way you build a business is by building relationships and trust, that makes you steady income- not by taking someone for a ride for a one time sum

Always make the customer feel like he or she is getting a great deal.

Never let on or give the impression that you make a shitload or not a lot- your suit needs to be not cheap, but not expensive.

If the suit is cheap and your watch is Timex, they'll think you're poor or cheap and that breeds mistrust- if the guy is hurting, do I really want to pay him a 5 digit sum on good faith?

Business is tough. Lots of people are hurting. You don't want to give the impression that you're making millions and doing blow off $5,000 an hour hookers all night long, at their expense.

It's important to be likable, to be charming. Crack jokes (*absolutely no politics, rape, abortion, race- you get it). Keep everything light hearted. Always have a smile on your face.

Self deprecating stuff is good. Tell him about how your wife is going to leave you when she sees your tax returns after this guy finishes with you. Always make the customer feel like he got a good deal

If the client has fun when you're around, he'll do more business with you. If he needs a part, he'll check if you have it first. He'll recommend you to higher ups and purchasing managers so he can spend more time around you, and have fun.

You want to be pushy, without being pushy. Sounds like a mindfuck right? You always want to be engaging with the customer. He looking at something? Ask him if he needs any help, has any questions, let him know what a great model it is.

You never want him to feel like you're trying to close or being pushy- but you always want to be closing. ABC.

Are you selling cars? You see a wedding ring? Let him know how safe the model is, how you can fold down the seats for extra cargo space, how easy it is to clean the car.

Young single guy? This car is exciting. It has real power- the ladies love it!

Learn to get a read on your customers.

General Frame- For me, I always did best adopting sort of a parody of the typical overeager salesman- Tell him how it's the deal of the century, how he's taking food from your kids mouth's at these prices, and how you'll be living on the streets if he comes back.

That shit doesn't work. People don't like cliches, they don't like being played for a fool. That's why I always make it clear that it's a joke, big smile, always laughing, over exaggerated hand motions.

Another plus about this is that gives you a lot of time to get in there and close and be pushy- you're playing an overeager slick salesman remember- so close. And close hard. And push and push- you can get away with it because it's all a joke.

Another tip: Be attractive. People trust attractive people more. People want to spend more time on attractive people. You will be hard pressed to find ugly salesmen- this is no coincidence. Spend real time and effort on your appearance. Eat a disciplined diet. Lift big. Have a fashionable(BUT SHORT- READ EDIT) haircut, brush your teeth 3 times a day, floss.

I will most likely be editing this piece and adding more stuff. People are welcome to post their own tips.

It helps to have a passion for sales, or at least, to train yourself to be having fun when you're selling, to get a dopamine release when you close.

Personally, I've always found sales to be somewhat erotic. I get a nice fat boner when ever I see a 5 digit sale in my paypal account.

EDIT: One of the first and most important things you learn about sales is to be clean cut and clean shaven. That's why I forgot to post it earlier.

It's been common salesman tricks of the trade since the first world war- before we had studies to prove it.

Now, we have plenty of studies showing how trial lawyers with beards or long hair have clients that are far more likely to be convicted- etc.

People are less trusting of people with facial hair or long hair.

Another thing- make sure your car is in mint condition. Drive that thing carefully- no scratches. No dents. No cig burns in the upholstering. No scratches under the door handle (fucking women, I want to scream everytime a girl with a ring opens the door for herself- make sure you open the door for these women. She'll think you're being a gentleman).

Guys like guys that take good care of their cars.

Many salesman advocate buying American made (Some people look down on you for not driving American made, No one looks down on you for driving American made, so it's a net plus).

Personally, I swore an oath to myself to never again drive an American Made car after the 1000th time I ended up stranded with my cell phone dead in the middle of no where because it stopped working)