Study shows that 2/3 of divorces are filed by the wife. However divorces where both husband and wife are college educated 90% are filed by the wife. TL;DR: Don't ever get married.

Botanical-Concepts · 2016-05-19T09:34:19+00:00

The author thinks the conclusion of the study is that women want an equal partner.

Cristoff13 · 2016-05-19T10:30:31+00:00

Article summary: its all men's fault. Women really don't want to divorce their husbands, but are absolutely forced to it because men don't make them feel like giddy newlyweds anymore. And don't do enough housework.

(Seriously, it doesn't take that much effort to make a house presentable. I don't know why women are so obsessed with this housework issue.)

lostapwbm · 2016-05-19T15:26:13+00:00

Oftentimes, the woman will try anything to make her marriage work. She starts reading books, trying new things, losing weight, buying new clothes and maybe even taking up new hobbies — all in hopes to revive the love that was lost. She only resorts to divorce as a last resort.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That was really good!

She only loses weight, dresses better, and learns new hobbies to make herself more attractive to her new Chad, not hubby.

victor_knight · 2016-05-19T10:32:04+00:00

I think if they ever did a study on it, they'd find that the vast majority of men who got married had children. Very, very few ever actually got married just for the sake of getting married. In other words, if it was relatively easy for men to have children without committing to a woman, marriage would be next to totally obsolete.

2016-05-19T15:14:12+00:00

Infidelity (Yea, by the woman...)
Incompatible (The alure and popularity of being married has worn off)
Drinking/Drug Use (I want to relive my glory years)
Grew Apart (I lied to make him think I was someone else when the relationship started)
Personality problems (Men need to accept Strong Indpeendent women. Now go get my purse!)
Lack of communication (Everytime I bitch and complain he doesn't engage anymore.)
Physical or mental abuse (The economy went down, and he's getting paid less which means we had to sell my overpriced mercedes. This is abuse!)
Loss of love (I might be approaching my 50s but my true love is out there somewhere...)
Not meeting family obligations (Social norms are so 1900s. It's all about adopting foreign children like celebs for social validation.)
Employment problems (Work is tough and my man is stressed. I can't deal with having a job and being stressed. I need half his shit to fix this.)

gundahir · 2016-05-19T11:46:07+00:00

Even if I had a guarantee that a divorce wont happen, I would not marry. Why should I ? Every man should ask himself this.

TFCNU · 2016-05-19T13:28:33+00:00

There are those over in TRP-land who think you can mitigate the risk of divorce by marrying 'correctly'. They're right insofar as there are certain demographics that have lower divorce rates. Among the things that lowers divorce rates? College education. It's almost funny that the same factor increases the chance that the woman will instigate divorce.

JPDG · 2016-05-19T14:05:37+00:00

TL; DR. 1) Women initiate most divorces. 2) Women lack agency.

RichardBelmont · 2016-05-19T11:31:52+00:00

Bad journalism. The site says why women divorce, then links to a page that says it asked 208 men and women.

On any other study, asking someone why they do something would be laughed at.

DigitalScetis · 2016-05-19T17:09:32+00:00

Here's my take:

1) This is Fox News Magazine: a tradcon publication. This article fits the pattern of the big, narrative push on the part of conservatives in the past few years to push marriage on poorer people and younger people. This article is no different. The key lines are these: "It's also thought that arguments over money are the catalyst of many divorces, but it's not often the case." It is such an important point to Cindy Holbrook, that she discounts money twice: "Surprisingly, financial problems was 13th on the list, which goes to show that fighting over money all the time (or lack of money) is NOT one of the primary causes of divorce. Looking over the list, it's clear women simply want an equal partner."

2) From looking at her website, the author exhibits all of the characteristics of what TRP would call an "alpha widow." To summarize her story, she married an alpha named Earl. And, as alphas do, he kept her in frame with dread game. This didn't stop her from living with him for 15 years and having two children with him. She would probably have still been with him, except for a woman named 'Annette':

Let me give you some background story. Earl and Annette had worked together for years. In matter of fact Earl and I would hang out with Annette and her husband at all the company functions and other events. Then Annette’s husband died suddenly. I felt sad and empathetic and befriended her. She would come to our house for holidays and such. Then I became very ill, and I believe that was the beginning of this very strong emotional bond that developed between them.

There is nothing more dreadful for a woman than her husband's co-workers. Even when there's nothing going on, there's always the suspicion and potential for something going on. This is especially true when she gets laid up in the hospital, since she can't monitor him. To make a long story short, after meeting with Annette one night and coming home later than promised, Cindy accused Earl of having an "emotional" affair, ie, "while you did not have sex with her, I resent her and I'm holding you responsible." She divorced and married Mike after six years of dating.

There is not much talk of Mike on her personal blogs, other than he "treats me like a queen and tells me that after everything I have gone through, that I deserve only the best." Only one story about Mike I can see:

I was sitting in my friend Mike’s truck. I spilled a 32 ounce soda all over the truck and on Mike. He jumped out of the truck and grabbed some towels that he had in the back. I curled up into a little ball on the passengers side and started repeating, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Mike looked at me and said, “Baby, you don’t have anything to be sorry about.” This was not the response I was used to. I didn’t know how to react and just started sobbing. Mike climbed up in the wet sticky seat and held me for three hours while I sobbed.

How sweet, I suppose. But you'd expect that, for such a "good guy" she would talk more about Mike on her blog.

But Earl? Oh man! Her entire personal blog is a kind of testament to Earl and his lasting impact on her. It's been about 25 years since her divorce, and she still can't seem to forget about Earl:

One of the things women often tell me is, “I just want to stop thinking about him!” The truth is you will never stop thinking about him, however, you can think of him without the pain.

And she closes her post about Earl with this:

Also, I thank Earl for giving me two beautiful children. I thank him for the good times that we shared. I thank him for being the asshole that he was, as it made/forced me to believe in myself and gain the confidence and courage to be me.

When I read this, I said damn...what utter and complete contempt she has towards poor Mike, her current husband, who picked up the pieces of this post-menopausal, post-hysterectomy, broken, single mother (after having a Big Gulp spilled in his nice truck), "forsaking all others" as the vows go, just to have all the credit for her resurgence go to her alpha ex.

But who can blame her? Of course she gives Earl all the credit for her transformation over 37 years, because he's the Alpha and she only could have been so lucky. Mike is not, and so he deserves to be "castrated" by her in the sense that his story, his memory--even his genetics--deserves no recognition by her.

3) Now the data in that Penn State study...

The first thing you should know is that the Penn State study does not actually link to the paper. It links to a California family law partnership who used the paper in its promotional materials.

The second thing you need to know is that the researchers used the absolute worst method of determining why a person seeks a divorce: they asked them. Surveys are very good at determining rationalizations, ego defenses or what we might call "hamstering." They are very bad at getting at the truth.

The best thing you can study to discover the actual reason for the divorce is to observe what the initiator pursues after the divorce. Sadly, there isn't much data I can find which shows the income level, the attractiveness, the age, and other characteristics of the new boyfriends women date after the divorce. But I would imagine this has a lot to do with what the former husband couldn't give the woman. And I think, in more cases than not, it's about the money. Not in all the cases, mind you. If the husband has money, but not the six pack abs and 10 inch cock, the woman might take the husband to the cleaners and go cougar.

Keep in mind that, whatever the ultimate reason for the divorce, this won't be the answer given. No woman is going to admit that he isn't making enough money. No woman is going to say "he turned into a wuss" as Ron Guhname over at the Inductivist blog would say. He makes the important point that the data alone do not tell us much:

The problem is that people are asked what was caused the divorce, but they are not asked to whom they are referring. For example, a woman says that infidelity was the cause, but we don't know if she or her husband was the guilty party. Some of them seem more mutual, like "grew apart", but others are simply unclear.

For example, the data in that Penn State study show that infidelity is the leading reason among women for filing for divorce, accounting for 25.3% of divorces. The knee jerk reaction among pro-marriage advocates is to say that the spouse who is cheated on is the one who files the divorce. In other words, "those damn married men can't 'man up' and be loyal to their wives."

But this is a bad assumption. The woman could (and according to our MGTOW sources, probably is) cheat on her husband with someone who is richer or better looking, and file the divorce herself so she can get with the new man. A woman like this would have no problem with giving "infidelity" as the cause, and be unashamed at it. Being an adulteress, today, is not a bad thing for a woman to be called, since she can always say it wasn't her fault ("I was carried away by his seduction...I wanted to resist, but I couldn't!"). It is far preferable to wear the scarlet letter "A" than the golden letter "G" (for gold digger) or the leopard print letter "H" (for ho). Both those latter letters imply the woman has a character flaw. Adultery can always be blamed on another ("I didn't sleep with Chad because he's rich, the VP of the company, and damn good looking...My husband's bad attitude made me sleep with Chad").

All in all, no woman is ever going to admit, not even to herself, that it was about the money or the sex. She'll find a way to do one of two things:

A) Blame the husband. ("Really, his unemployment had nothing to do with the reason we haven't had sex in months...it's that he left spots on the wine glasses and he pesters me too much for sex)

B) Remain blameless. ("I thought I was strong enough to endure the hardship of having an unemployed husband in this tough economy. I was wrong!")

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2016-05-19T15:33:22+00:00

And even the remainder -- whether it's 1/3 or 10% -- even though the formal "filing" may be done by the husband...

Well, in many instances its still really the wife that's driving it... she'd already cheated (in some cases multiple times), had already caused a full "separation" (aka kicked his ass to the curb, forced him to rent/buy some second home or apartment, in order to have a place to live himself), and etc.

So why the delay? Why didn't the wife do the actual "formal" filing? In several cases I know of personally, it's mainly because "dear hubby's assets -- businesses, investments -- were still APPRECIATING in value."

That is to say, she was already getting almost ALL of the benefits of being "divorced" (i.e. she had full freedom of the "bedroom", full control over the house which she occupied alone {or with "new boyfriend(s)" staying over} -- while still sticking hubby with the majority of the bills, the mortgage, etc.)...

Basically the longer she delayed the actual "filing" (which is what sets the "date" for the valuation of the asset division) the bigger her final "payout" would be.

2016-05-19T13:12:11+00:00

what the fuck....

cynicalsimon · 2016-05-19T17:36:31+00:00

'1. Infidelity

2.Incompatible

3. Drinking/Drug Use

4. Grew Apart

5. Personality problems

6. Lack of communication

7. Physical or mental abuse

8. Loss of love

9. Not meeting family obligations

10. Employment problems'

All of those are shallow reasons to break up. That seems like a list for women who act like children.

I think the only good exception is abuse and infidelity.

'2 Incompatible'- You can't be serious, your already married dumbass. ' 3Drinking/Drug Use- Oh yea, you really don't give a shit about your partner, so get lazy and leave them' 'Personality problems- LAZYNESS to not work together' 'Grew Apart- You GOT LAZY' '#8. Loss of love- YOU GOT LAZY work at it. the magic leaves for everyone' 'Not meeting family obligations-'im a goldigger and that's okay!' '#10. Employment problems- I'm a goldigger and that's okay!' 'Surprisingly, financial problems was 13th on the list- I'm a goldigger and that's okay!'

3 On the list were goldigger involved!Surprise, surprise right?'Surprisingly, financial problems was 13th on the list, which goes to show that fighting over money all the time (or lack of money) is NOT one of the primary causes of divorce. '-That is messed up. What are we retarded and can't read through what that means?

The cherry on the cake is: 'Looking over the list, it's clear women simply want an equal partner.'

I mean shit, this list is just revolting!!!

2016-05-19T23:20:40+00:00

Men choose to get married to their fantasy. Not to the reality that actually faces them with marriage ie. cheating, no sex, controlling, money taking, divorce inciting women.

hardtostarboard2016 · 2016-05-19T18:24:53+00:00

all of those pretty scientific data only to blindly repeat relationship cliche

well-ok-then · 2016-05-20T03:44:47+00:00

We were both college educated and I filed. Six months after she moved out and after she'd said she wouldn't attempt to fix our marriage. But until I filed, all the money was still community property, so she let that bleeding go on as long as possible

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