For all you've men who've grew up in single mother homes? How did you overcome it? I'm sure we're all aware of the statistics, and what not. That comes from a "fatherless home" as the media likes to put it. And honestly speaking I've been attached to a few of them. Mental health issues(depression/addiction to porn&videogames), the suicide statistic(I attempted a few times last year) Only reason I'm still here is because I don't own a gun, and all the bridges around me aren't high enough. So I had to settle with a shitty noose. Which obviously didn't work, and I don't want to settle with a 50/50 poisoning. More likely to not finish highschool(I'm currently a senior), and was likely not going to graduate. But 'rona gave me a slim chance to graduate at least virtually. I'm sure you guys get what I'm saying, or at least I hope.

I'm pretty red and black pilled about our society. Which I'm sure most of us share in common. But I honestly just don't see any point in living. Whether everything is going amazing, or has gone to shit. There's always this little voice in my head. Telling me to just get it over with. It's like no matter how sunny my days are. There's always this dark cloud that hangs over, and I've gotten quite use to it's company.

I don't open up to anyone. For that I know no one will actually ever give a fuck. Or will start to subconsciously view me as weak, even if they don't admit to it. I don't care about being viewed as weak. It just saves me the trouble of letting people get information about me, and exploiting me later on with it. So for a alternative, I write everything down in journals. But last night, I was writing in my journal about my future, or at least I was ATTEMPTING to. And I sat there froze for like 30 minutes looking at the pages. Because I just can't bring myself to think of me living for a long time. I know men don't hit their prime till their 30s. But I honestly can't see myself living for that long(I'm currently 18). I can't see myself living longer than my parents. Which is sad to say, when you really think about it.

I try my hardest to push forward, and just tell myself to keep trying. But it's a sickening feeling. To always have this itchy feeling. That you know your fate is already sealed, no matter how hard you try in life. To make sure that it doesn't end up that way. One thing I love about MGTOW, is that it looks different for every man. But I can't help but think my only way is suicide in the end. My generation is quite fucked if we're being honest. And I feel as if I'm just another statistical product of that generation. Not in terms of being a victim. But in terms of knowing the actuality of all the things happening to my generation, and the repercussions of those things.

If you read through all of this, I appreciate you. I just wanted to rant on a little throwaway account. To a sub of like-minded men