I just had a baby. Don’t know what to do.

2020-05-22T19:59:19+00:00

Welp, your relationship is likely fucked in the long run, but you now have a duty to raise the child right.

Everything else is secondary.

CelestialAmorphous · 2020-05-23T13:10:52+00:00

PATERNITY TEST FIRST. and if she's not a citizen she's probably using you to become one. Damn

axiscontra · 2020-05-22T21:29:13+00:00

Sorry man. I want to say two things for any bro's to not get into this. Unwanted pregnancy is one of THEE most important factors in a LTR. if not most important.

Buy the little cheap strips for pregnancy tests and have your girl get tested twice a month on the same days. The sooner you know about an accident the easier it is to resolve the issue.
I always have a verbal agreement with any woman im cumming in that we will not have a child together. I always stress that if they decided to keep it its an absolute breach of trust and dont expect me to continue a relationship with them or my child. Honestly this makes me sound like a deadbeat but Children are serious matters. I would not bring one into this life without planning, and if a woman purposely brings a child despite our no child agreement then thats a conversation I can have the with the child when they become an adult. (not really here to have any conversations about moral responsibility, and abortions)

Im sorry that this happened to you brother. Its not a death sentence. Just relax and figure out how to stay her friend, child support is a mother fucker.

kclanton80 · 2020-05-22T21:11:27+00:00

First...you don't know your the dad until you get a paternity test. GET A TEST DONEif you haven't done so. Do not just take her word for it. Do it in secret if you have too....but get it done!

Do not marry a woman just because you got her pregnant by mistake. You can continue to date her possibly...but that won't last if you don't marry her. She is going to push HARD for marriage. I wouldn't do it....if she proves to be worth marriage down the line maybe...but marriage usually fails regardless.

You could seek to get custody of the child possibly...talk to a lawyer. If you weren't intending to.marry her, don't do so just because you two had an accidental baby, and she needs to be a citizen.

if you think marriage is the only option that maybe make an agreement to do so for about three years until she gets her citizenship. Then maybe you can have an amicable separation...... Or stay together if things are still going well. I would definitely not lean towards marriage but if so this would be the way I would go.

Semantics127 · 2020-05-22T20:03:12+00:00

Ouch. Don’t know what I’d do in this situation. Maybe try for custody. I don’t remember if you said she’s in your country long term.. visa or green card?

Crazy situation, but I don’t think marriage will save it. For all you know she got knocked up simply to stay in your country.

sniper1905 · 2020-05-23T00:40:08+00:00

If I was in your position, first thing I’d do is some breathing (slow inhale, slow exhale) so anxiety doesn’t catch up. My heart is beating fast as shit even just thinking about what if I was in your position.

I would definitely have a conversation with your baby momma as well on how she’s doing mentally and physically because she just delivered a baby.

After that there are some choices that you can make but know that these choices are life-changing decisions because what you just did now is a life-changing thing.

No I’m not gonna tell you what I would do exactly because I don’t want you to do exactly what I would do, I want you to do what you will do.

So what are you gonna do get married? Be a deadbeat by walking out and letting her take the child back to her home country? Not get married but raise this child together?

Definitely talk with your close friends and family as they probably can give you some guidance and help, as you most likely need it especially at a young age. You can keep on working on your business because now you’re going to have to provide for your child, and even though this is life-changing this is not an end all be all saying that your life is completely over.

God bless and I hope you, your friends, your family and love ones are all healthy.

DatRiggz · 2020-05-23T02:42:05+00:00

DNA test asap

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-05-23T03:57:52+00:00

Paternity test. Lawyer.

If she doesn’t stay in the country I won’t be able to see the child, and her country is super 3rd world and I wouldn’t want the child to live there.

Yep. Now you fully understand the game she's running.

Classic Anchor Baby. Women in her country talk about this shit frequently. It's a subject on TV shows and movies.

So either you're halfway fucked or else your child is completely fucked being raised by a single mom in a crap city in a trashy country. That's assuming you're the bio father which unless you live together I'd only give around 60:40.

So, you've got some real hard decisions to make.

LTR is HB8.5/smart ,

Smarter than you, mate.

not a citizen of USA. Not sure what to do. I want to raise the child, but I’m not sure about getting married. It feels like it’s the right thing to do, but I know the consequences of divorce....

LAWYER.

Marriage isn't a reward for conveniently forgetting to take your pills on the weekends. But it is a just punishment for shitheads who allow a woman they're not married to, to be in control of the birth. Especially if she's smarter than you.

I just don’t know how I feel about “settling down”. I have a business and I hit the gym constantly, have a good physique, and I feel like I have too much potential to slay in my late 20s/30s to give it up.

You already agreed to waive several of your rights by not using condoms. A person who thought it was a good idea to, I dunno..... Say, bareback it with a plate from a shithole foreign country with immigrant status because she promised you she was taking birth control...That person has got a potential for something. What that potential is, I can't say. Slaying it, not likely. Not anymore. That ship has sailed.

I also don’t know how long our relationship will last and I’m just so fucking lost.

You've been lost since the first time you fucked her. Not a new condition. She had a game plan from the start, you didn't.

I signed the BC because I know I am the father and I don’t want to run away from the child.

That was stupid.

Paternity test.

If she won't agreed to it...... oooops, you signed the BC. That's as good as a legally binding contract on many areas.

Lawyer up, today.

Domebeers · 2020-05-22T20:18:08+00:00

Listen, you aren't thinking clearly.

In a lot of places a kid can't even get legally charged for committing a crime until they are 12, and the from 12 to 18 the laws are pretty lenient.

So what you should do is spend the first 5 years raising the kid, then spend the next 4 years having the kids commit crimes, and profit off of those. Have him do break ins are something. When he is a little older and has a better head on his shoulders, you can use him to sell drugs for you, as he can't really get in trouble for it.

Title	I just had a baby. Don’t know what to do.
Author	CSLOBO
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	May 22, 2020 7:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gopst9/i_just_had_a_baby_dont_know_what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-just-had-a-baby-dont-know-what-to-do.667466 https://theredarchive.com/post/667466

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