So, I've struggled with depression and rare bouts of suicidal thoughts in the past, but I feel like in the past year (in the time I've been with my bf) I've had at least three strong moments where I've fantasized about it. Way more than usual. I feel like a LVW even though I contribute in every way I can (cleaning, cooking, lawn care, and construction around his property, ect). We live together and are both strong personalities. I feel lost and can't tell if we are toxic for each other or if I'm just in my head. Any advice would be helpful