Not a natural captain?

CalvinRichland · 2018-10-02T18:06:46+00:00

He fears you being unhappy. He wants the best for you but is confused.

Text him while you are at work "see you at x time, have a date planned and don't ask my opinion"

Reward him no matter if you enjoy the date or not. Keep telling him throughout the week how much you liked him making the plans without asking you. If that hint doesnt work repeat. If that doesnt work tell him directly.

okayestwifey · 2018-10-02T18:12:19+00:00

Is this only with dates? Or is he passive about other things in your life too? Remember that part of being a captain is delegating when and where he wants to. My husband HATES planning dinners-- he'd rather have a bad dinner than one he had to suggest. If he ever craves anything specific, he'll tell me, but otherwise the "what do you want for dinner?" question annoys the daylights out of him. In your case, this might be one of those things he just hates planning for some reason.

Kara__El · 2018-10-02T18:40:01+00:00

You've said "sick of" a lot. It sounds like you're already leaning toward looking for a stronger leader. I don't blame you. I've always said I'd prefer a man with an opinion on everything than an opinion on nothing. If I'm making all of the decisions for the two of us, why does there need to be two of us?

I'd recommend talking to him, assuring him that you'd like for him to be more decisive and seeing what happens. If you're as convinced as you sound that this is just who he is, though, then realistically assess your chances of doing better. Consider your age and appearance and all you ACTUALLY bring to the table.

We don't know enough about your relationship to know how pervasive this problem is, but if he's truly uninterested in leading, it's unlikely to change. Just he forewarned, an opinion on EVERYTHING can be tiresome, too. I can't by a throw pillow without a debate. There are downsides to both.

Maleficentwat · 2018-10-02T22:37:22+00:00

A natural leader, in my opinion, would shine in situations where core values are tested. Protecting you, issues regarding raising children, future goals, etc.

Deciding where to eat would fall into the insignificant territory to me. Even though decision-making doesn't resemble a supportive task, in situations where it is a small chore, deciding what's for dinner allows him to de-stress. It is a kindness for him that would separate you from most women.

If he is passive in a way that makes him seem unambitious in the long-term, I understand. However if it's small things like this, I wouldn't see it as much of a weakness.

Title	Not a natural captain?
Author	Lux_x_Aeterna
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	October 2, 2018 5:57 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9ksxuc/not_a_natural_captain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/not-a-natural-captain.67671 https://theredarchive.com/post/67671

Comments