My [F19] friends are closer to my ex [M19] even though they weren’t friends with him while we were dating and I feel bitter

SeaNegotiation8 · 2020-04-09T08:53:56+00:00

He deliberately tried to make you feel ugly and unwanted. He was systematically and methodically trying to lower your self-esteem. He has also attempted to isolate you from your friends. This is blatantly abusive behavior. Lots of young men are just dumb and thoughtless, but your ex sounds like he knew what he was doing.

The absolute BEST thing you can do is block him on ALL social media. No goodbyes, no explanation, just quietly block him. This will starve him of the narcissistic supply of attention that you’ve been providing him.

He will pull all kinds of stunts to get your attention again, which will probably involve recruiting the help of your “friends” to draw you back into his cycle of abuse, but please ignore him.

The best punishment is your indifference.

Focus on your closest friends, and yourself. Hugs, sis.

garthanddean · 2020-04-09T12:49:33+00:00

So they’re not your friends. Sounds like you got rid of two kinds of toxic dead weights when you broke up. Block him and unfollow or block the rest of them. I know, easier said than done, but you don’t need this negativity.

I am sorry that you feel so betrayed and are struggling to make new friends at school, but you will. Now you know what you do and don’t want in a friend, and that will help you be more careful and successful in finding people who will be worth your time.

Also, not to be condescending, but you guys are all so young. You’ll find that a lot of high school friendships fall apart after graduation because you’re not forced to be together. The friends who are truly your friends will stick around. Social media is especially bad for facilitating superficial connections that should have been cut long ago.

muricaxoxo · 2020-04-09T15:22:36+00:00

Honestly it sounds like you need a fresh start from all of this. He's a total loser that was so rude and mean to you, you're so much better off. And your friends don't really sound like friends if they're still around him. You're so young! Go enjoy college! Build your career and make a new life, make some new friends and don't look back :)

sugaredberry · 2020-04-09T16:51:10+00:00

You were a victim of “narcissistic abuse” and a “smear campaign” by your ex. Google those terms. Your friends are believing whatever bs story your ex made up. Your ex will never be sorry or apologize for his actions.

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