(25m) lied to me(20f) and abused me for 5 years x posted

rhyth7 · 2020-03-12T06:03:16+00:00

Try to save as much money in secrecy as you can! Find any way! And look to see if there are shelters you can go to. You are being abused and you do not deserve this. There is a better life out there for you! You are not responsible for this man and his bad choices. Do not let him bully you into thinking so.

thiswomanthatiknow · 2020-03-12T14:09:25+00:00

This man is not your twinflame, your soulmate, the yang to your yin, or anything else divine. He is sucking the life out of you, and is a negative, abusive, devastating presence in your life. This man will bleed you dry, and when there is nothing left, he'll leave, find another woman, and cry to her about how horrible you were, how you refused to understand him and have empathy for him, how you let his addictions ravage his life, how you didn't work so as to force him to be responsible for you and your wellbeing, how he tried soOoOoOo hard to make it work, to be honest with you, to be a good partner, and yet you let him run off in a suicidal episode because you claimed you had a little foot pain.

He's been playing you from the jump, and he does not value you as a person, only as a resource for his own use. Begin planning to leave, even if it'll take a painfully long amount of time to do so, and feel no guilt toward him. You've given enough, and you owe only yourself.

His tears are most certainly a manipulation tactic, and they are only for him. He doesn't care about your health or your well-being, he cares only about securing the most favorable outcome for him while still stringing you along to deal with his crap so that he doesn't have to.

I hate this man so much. Please love yourself like he never could and never will. You have so much life ahead of you, and this man will add no value to it.

Also, he's been an adult the entirety of your relationship, and you were a child for most (at least half) of it. He's been grooming you, for sure. Now that you're a woman, strive to be single for a bit, experience the world without the crippling responsibility of dealing with men, and after you've recovered from this ordeal, if you want another hetero relationship, find a man who acts like a man, not an irresponsible, immature wanker. Also, good luck in finding one, because fewer and fewer men have any value in their relationships with women. Just because it isn't hard to find a man like the one you've already got does not mean that such men should be the standard or that you should admire and settle for such men. Choose yourself and loyal girlfriends over LVM who will never, ever, ever prioritize your needs over their wants. ♥️

ello-motto · 2020-03-12T11:16:37+00:00

This guy is the lowest of the low LVM. He is not worth being a caring girlfriend towards. I've been with a guy who had an addiction, and tried to help him through it - it's NOT worth it.

Do not waste any more of your youth on this man!

He's groomed you well, because what these abusive men try to do is to isolate you from your family and friends by becoming a larger authorative presence in your life.

I agree with the other FDSers, save money secretly, work on yourself and realise your intrinsic self-worth. Don't seek validation and worth from this man ever again. His opinion of you is his own LVM trying to neg and control you. It's not based in reality but his own selfish thinking so that HE doesn't have to change. Once you've got enough money, find a way to leave him (a women's shelter/charity might be able to help here). Reconnect with trusted family members or friends you may have known or go to a women's shelter.

You can do this. We are here for you!

This-Register · 2020-03-12T05:02:54+00:00

I know it's hard but the best thing for you to do is leave and find a life for yourself. You must have some extended family or friend you can stay by till you get on your feet. If you stay in a relationship like that, make no mistake, itll kill you.

grimreapersdtr · 2020-03-12T22:28:32+00:00

You should read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft.

He sounds like a textbook emotional abuser.

Title	(25m) lied to me(20f) and abused me for 5 years x posted
Author	TreeFrog1001
Upvotes	13
Comments	8
Date	March 12, 2020 12:08 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fh77ee/25m_lied_to_me20f_and_abused_me_for_5_years_x/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/25m-lied-to-me20f-and-abused-me-for-5-years-x.680407 https://theredarchive.com/post/680407

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