Dating after divorce

glittersparklesglitz · 2020-02-07T23:26:06+00:00

I started dating again right away, but that decision wasn't coming from a healthy place. I was terrified of being alone after being with my ex since age 16. I feel that I was really truly over my ex probably 3 years after the divorce. I really think there's no right answer. Divorce is so rough. It takes a big toll, especially when the relationship was abusive. You have so much healing to do. Try your best to focus on yourself, your friends, your family, and your own best interests for now. Even consider therapy and support groups. Anything to help you.

letsberealforamoment · 2020-02-07T23:40:42+00:00

We separated in May of 2018. I gave myself a year to reconcile, get over it, come to terms, etc.

After a year I started dating again. I wasnt going to let him hold me back so I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

Despite the adventures i had, it helped me move on.

goatismycopilot · 2020-02-08T13:09:28+00:00

I found my divorce very traumatizing for a number of reasons not completely to do with losing the specific person. I was very hurt and angry to the point I was worried I might lash out at work so i went to short term counseling twice over an 18 month period. I was also doing a part time graduate degree and working full time . I knew i was not ready to date.

I tried dating at a year or so out and disliked it. I realized what i actually needed was to rebuild my social connections. Right after i separated i had three close friends leave my city.

So i focused on making friends which was a bit more rewarding and i have dated here and there and had a few serious relationships

I am five years out. I have a dog again and i have a loose network of friends and acquaintances with whom i spend most weekends off with. I never ended up with one person who was a bestie which in the beginning i wanted but I have met some nice women and a few men who generally share my interests and with whom I am close enough to share major holidays with.

I am very reluctant now to put major energy into a serious relationship because for me the investment never paid off but what I have managed to do is build a life I actually enjoy and I remind myself to express gratitude for that. I would be open to connecting with a man again but he would have to show up in my every day life. OLD ( online dating ) for me just seemed too time consuming and while I know some women in second marriages and serious relationship from OLD most of their partners would not be suitable for me nor are they super appealing. Most people who have known me before during and after marriage tell me I am much calmer and less anxious and seem to be more centered as a divorced used up dog lady and i would agree.

purasangria · 2020-02-08T01:26:20+00:00

I waited about 2 years to date again.

I didn't feel like I was ready for a relationship.

And the last few years have been really awful, in part because I've not been ruthless enough in vetting men. Now I'm ruthless about booting any man who acts like an ass.

So now I'm not even sure if I want a relationship. I just don't see the upside.

randomgirlimok · 2020-02-08T16:43:34+00:00

You’re legally not supposed to date until the divorce is final.

Title	Dating after divorce
Author	concioustly
Upvotes	11
Comments	6
Date	February 7, 2020 11:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f0iumj/dating_after_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dating-after-divorce.683117 https://theredarchive.com/post/683117

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