Hi my Community of strong, smart, beautiful, intelligent ladies,

I've been following this community for a while and it changed how I view relationship, men, dating (trust that I am not alone in this transformation!). Currently I am single and actively dating. I am in a confusing situation and looking for your insights and feedback.

Context: not super long ago I dated someone. He comes from a good family, never worked super hard any day in his life, and has very high IQ and EQ, charismatic. He is super into spirituality - a very charming person. He also wants open relationships. My stand was idk if poly was for me, but I am open to try. We had our fun, but towards the end of the relationship, he made out with someone else in a party that I was also in. I was hurt, asked to talk about boundary, which he refused, saying "not blaming you but your presence made me feel constrained", and polyamory is "replacing strong ties with weak ties".

We then stopped talking. Not an abrupt breakup, but we gradually stopped contacting. Then in a month or two, he started to see my friend, she is stunning, playful, high IQ and EQ, and into open relationship. It was hard for me, but I have actively healing myself (through meditation, exploring my interests, confirming my core values, etc.), and it's been fine. Last night I ran into them, they moved in together, and officially in a relationship (open or not, that I don't know). In a second I felt those moments of hurt and confusion swallowed me alive, and I had to run away.

Now, I have learned from that relationship (I may as well get something out of it too, right?). I have established my own set of values, and have been doing a good job sticking to them while OLD/dating IRL. I love myself, and feel so effing grateful to be alive in this messy but beautiful world. But I feel hurt, and can't help but think I was "a weaker tie replaced", "less attractive", and "used and disposed". I know these thoughts aren't doing anything, but they bubble up some time, and I feel scared and useless, honestly.

How would you approach the healing process, ladies? Thank you so, so much.

TL;DR: I got hurt from an open relationship, and am not sure how to heal from the trauma. Thoughts?