Male friends?

themissdaydreamer · 2019-12-20T22:27:24+00:00

going a bit off tangeant but I'd like to talk about some of my girl friends that are really resentful on how men approach them as "friends" but at some point they act like total pervs we were discussing in a girl-only whatsapp group about some guy friends in common who acted like this nd another girl said "well, they always treated me well. I never did anything to provoke disrespect from them". she implied they behaved like pervs because we made them. it all went downhill from there and I don't even talk to this girl anymore. I felt disgusted when hearing a woman telling another woman she's guilty for being treating poorly. So if any of you have ever been told this, they're fucking sexist liars and you should not believe them.

blackopium777 · 2019-12-20T22:45:52+00:00

[deleted]

Ms_Tilly · 2019-12-21T03:51:12+00:00

Off the subject, but still funny.

I commented on my female cousin's photo and next thing I know my other cousin is facebook messaging me. I hadn't seen him since he was about 12 or so. He's my Grandma's sister's grandchild so pretty closely related. The conversation is getting weird and I realize what he is getting at. I mention having not seen him since the last family reunion and that's when he got it. And he was like OMG I was hitting on you!! He was beyond embarrassed. I'm a lot older than him and he's a good looking dude, so it didn't hurt my feelings too much haha.

pqrsthrowawayyyyy · 2019-12-21T15:13:07+00:00

I’m in a place right now where, after an entire life of having had more male friends than girlfriends, I’ve recently culled half of my close male friends’ names off my ‘list’, so to speak. And the reasons for this are as follows.

I GREw up being abused. My first two relationships were with abusive men, both who was emotionally and psychologically abusive, the second was actually my best friend for four years (during my relationship with the first man, and during my recovery period after I grew strong enough to break up with him). He ended up hurting me very badly too, albeit in different ways. After that ended, after almost five years, I took a break and withdrew from most of our common friends, because we’d been in the same friend circle for nine years. All the guys were his friends and my friends. And very, very few of them stepped up to the plate to support me. Very, very few. I literally asked a few for help, because I was struggling with losing my rock, initially, while he fell dick first into the first open pair of legs he found. And my ‘friends’ knew about the new girl, too. No one told me how immediately he’d moved on because they didn’t want to get involved. A lot of lessons were learnt here.

As soon as I hit single status, three of my previous ‘friends’ hit on me, and were then offended when I didn’t respond. One more I actually tried to go out with, but he was so horribly, horribly immature, not to mention, I think gay and in severe denial, that I decided never to date my friends again. And two years later, earlier this year, I went against my Better judgment and did give a deeply close friend a chance. (See my post history, if you like). The only good that came out of it was that I found FDS. And more of a spine.

I think the problem is that the percentage of men who are capable of having a healthy, platonic relationship with a woman is infinitesimally small. Emphasis here on healthy. There will be men who are sexually not interested in you, but will be emotional leeches, not friends, who use you as an emotional dump, and never reciprocate. And despite this being a female dating strategy sub, I also sincerely believe that the overwhelming message is to not compromise down for anything beneath that which is ideal for you. You don’t need toxic friends. You don’t need drains on your mental health, whether they’re male, or female. If they’re not doing you good, why are you allowing them into your life? You dont need that kind of drama. Life is complicated enough as it is.

Uncomplicated. Simplify. Stick to female friends, and again, those who will unequivocally only do you good. No one belongs in your life when they don’t earn their place there for you. I’m trying to learn the same thing, too.

themissdaydreamer · 2019-12-20T22:17:53+00:00

I've been really lucky in this department, I have some great male friends. I consider two of them as brothers-from-different mothers since I love their mothers as well. does it have to do with the fact they don't consider me attractive? most likely, but that's not the kind of attention I'd enjoy, so I'm good. there were situations in which I was the one to want something more, was turned down gently, we became great friends anyway and I even happily attented their wedding.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2019-12-21T00:24:15+00:00

I have male friends in one of my friend groups. We all share a hobby and it's a good mix of guys and girls. Occasionally they make slightly inappropriate remarks about us girls, but they are good dudes and are always supportive of any of us dating. Two of our friends are married and their husbands have come along and I think have had a good time. One guy brings his girlfriend along sometimes.

Idk if there's feelings there or anything with any of us, but I feel lucky to have them. I've had guy friends who weren't actually interested in being my friend, but I've known these current dudes for years and it's been good.

Title	Male friends?
Author	blackopium777
Upvotes	24
Comments	12
Date	December 20, 2019 9:57 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ed862q/male_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/male-friends.686560 https://theredarchive.com/post/686560

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