My current situation as the girlfriend experience without commitment.

z3hush · 2019-11-20T13:46:01+00:00

You don’t have to cut contact necessarily... but you should definitely date more people. Be less available. As you date others it will be easier to break with this one. Try to think of him as a friend with benefits, because that’s all he really sounds like.

Ms_Tilly · 2019-11-20T18:12:00+00:00

I tried this with someone for the same reason. He was the only interesting guy I had met in the new city and I was sexually attracted to him. I honestly didn't care what or who he did when we weren't together. It was definitely just a casual fwb thing. But he just kept reminding me that he didn't want a relationship and I never even asked. I didn't actually care. It was weird he'd keep saying that. My guess is he really liked me and was just reminding himself.

I had boundaries though. If he came over to watch a show with me, he couldn't be near me on his phone. He had to take it to another room lol. It was distracting. One time I told him my free night for the week and he said "I don't like to make plans because something better might come up." Y'all I cut him off that day and now we are just kind of friends.

And he has been trying to crawl back every six months or so FOR FIVE YEARS looking for a monogamous relationship from me. Hahahahaha nah I don't think so. I saw your true colors already.

China_man93 · 2019-11-20T18:07:55+00:00

I was in the same situation, I broke up with a long-term boyf and then fell madly in love with on a self-deprecating spiral of hate. The guy like yours was an amazing friend, he even met my parents. But, he was a snake charmer, he knew how and what to say to make me feel better and stay. I lapped it up like a dog.

Until I thought enough was enough. He wanted me to be exclusive to him, while he slept with everyone else. So I gave him and ultimatum, he said no, I said "there's the door, I'm not stopping you". We were in the same friendship group but he became incredibly toxic afterwards because he didn't recieve the same attention from me. This would include flaunting other girls infront of me, lieing to mutual friends, he stopped hanging with the group and was an A-Class C*nt when we did meet.

You deserve better than to be someones ootion while they're looking in other places. Mine pasted almost a year, and it's made me worse off after it. Men (who weren't his friends) defended his behaviour, and the treatment towards me afterwards. He even withheld my family pictures which took me a further 6 months to get back. Don't settle for shitty excuses and sweet words. He will only ever say temporary things which will constantly change. He doesn't deserve your best when he isn't giving you his. You deserve better.

Seranade · 2019-11-21T01:10:45+00:00

Going to go against the grain here and say an ultimatum isn't going to be the way to go. I wouldn't want to spend time in a relationship where I guilted, pressured or had to convince them to get into. That will get you into a relationship where only one of you can be happy at a time.

If you need to cut contact (temporarily or permanently), just let him know. If he's reasonable, he will accept that you have your own needs that he is not fulfilling. If he flips out about it, then you know that he's selfish and not worth the pain.

I wish I found this sub earlier, I spent six years hoping for someone to change their mind. Never again.

popfriday · 2019-11-20T14:16:49+00:00

Tell him exactly this! Give an ultimatum. He doesn’t tell you sweet words and give you kind gestures for YOU. He does them for himself. To keep you around to give the gf experience while he can sleep with and emotionally connect with other women at the same time.

Don’t wait until he’s found someone new and exciting to leave you for. Tell him hey I want commitment or I walk. If he gives you anything other than commitment (yes even the sweetest “gesture”) walk. You deserve more.

Title	My current situation as the girlfriend experience without commitment.
Author	owlette26
Upvotes	24
Comments	6
Date	November 20, 2019 11:07 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dz0mhj/my_current_situation_as_the_girlfriend_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-current-situation-as-the-girlfriend-experience.688165 https://theredarchive.com/post/688165

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