Hello amazing women, I love this sub and I find the advice incredibly valuable. It has led me to the realization that regrettably I have acted like a pick me in my year long relationship for far too long.

Examples: 1. I said I loved him first 2. Told him about how bad my ex treated me 3. I pay for most outings, he seems to think were 60/40 him, we’re not, I promise 4. He does not make me dinner or take me on dates unless it is a special occasion, I usually instigate going out. If he does make dinner or take me on a date it is usually pretty low effort. 5. I initiate most of the sex we have (5-6 times a week) 6. He does rude things he knows will annoy me and then apologizes or says I ‘need to chill’ when I am rightfully annoyed 7. Rarely makes the effort to come to my place, says it’s because I ‘don’t invite him’ but if he wanted to come he’d obviously take the initiative to ask to come over.

After feeling taking advantage of I spoke with him, scaled back my own efforts and have seen an increase in his, but overall I think he is just a low effort guy and doesn’t expect much effort in return. Expects equality but let’s the other person put in more effort (what’s new?). Ultimately, I don’t feel treated like a queen. Objectively, he is a high value man with a great income, maturity, we’ll respected by his community, adventurous, funny, giving sexually and has made clear he intends to marry me. As for myself I am very successful for my age, busy social life, absolutely no trouble attracting men, fit and active in multiple hobbies. I live alone and during my regular week I am very confident but I find if I stay at his for the weekend I start to doubt my value.

Has anyone ever successfully demanded respect and retconned a relationship like this into being a more beneficial one for them or should I cut and run? I am unfortunately very in love with him even though a voice in the back of my head tells me constantly I’m getting the short end of the stick.