Long vent ahead.

After lurking through this sub I gained the strength to ditch my obvious (in hindsight) LVM friend and realized that I was a pretty severe pickme. We've had an on-again, off-again thing over the years and like a fool I stupidly got back into him last year when I guess he got bored/lonely. I felt he was moving WAY too fast (we went from hanging out a couple of times to him text bombing me all day and getting upset if I didn't reply in a few hours and making all sorts of wild plans about hiking together, roadtrips, and relationship stuff) so I told him that I'm no longer looking for a FWB, am only dating longterm and wanted to hear his expectations right now. He said he "likes what we have now" but refused to define what that meant and that he paradoxically wants children eventually but isn't looking for anything serious (???) and only does things day by day and wouldn't be able to plan for the future (???). He also started bombing me with photos of clothes that he wanted me to wear, like long sundresses and tunics and stuff and how I should become vegan and get into tarot/mystical stuff like he suddenly did. I'm more of a button up blouse and slacks person who enjoys grilled chicken and fish too much and not really into alternative mystic things so I found that really weird.

He then dropped the megaton nuclear bomb that after I declined seeing him specifically on NYE (because I didn't want to just get drunk at his apartment that he shares with like 8 roommates and then sleep in his bed/have drunk sex) he went and spent NYE with another woman that was visiting our city, they hit it off and that he booked a flight to visit her in her home country of The Netherlands. Also that she was 19 and "mature for her age" and that "things are different in Europe" and he wanted to have an open relationship with us? Now I'm 30 and he's 31 so when I heard the girl's age I basically vomited in my mouth and said hell no. Fast forward a few weeks - he tried to maintain communication by sharing photos from his trip which I mostly ignored- until I realized this chick was a vegan and wore sundresses and studied occult stuff and all the stuff he was pushing me to do that was out of character for me. One day he bombed the hell out of my phone and I stupidly answered only for him to say that he was cancelling his return flight because he's officially seriously dating this girl now, and he, his parents, and her parents all thought it was a good idea for him to live with her during the coronavirus pandemic instead of flying back. He also wrote a lot of fluff about how we needed to be there for each other and that he'd support me emotionally or whatever so we absolutely MUST call each other every day to video chat (???) and that he was concerned because I've been pretty sick lately and had been hospitalized a few times. He also spit out a lot of hot air about how his parents were doctors and could get me tested or get medical help which I just laughed at, asking why he wouldn't want to be here to help and support them since they're doctors in the worst hit city (NYC) and likely to get sick helping their patients at the hospital. He just he didn't want to have to be quarantined with them and he was about to be evicted from his place (lol?) so it would be better to just stay.

So just to clarify he met this chick around New Year's while she was visiting for a week. He was upset that I didn't want to get drunk and fuck on NYE so he called her to keep him company instead where I guess he immediately fell in love/lust for her. He then had an LDR with her between January and Feb. He then bought plane tickets sometime in Feb to live for 3 weeks AT HER OFFCAMPUS HOUSING FULL OF TEENAGERS. He was ALSO seeing me during this time and allegedly told this girl that he was in an open relationship and she was okay with that, then told me about her right before his trip and expected me to be okay with that. He then cancelled his return flight because he convinced her to stay away from her family and instead house him in her dorm or a friend's house because in the span of two weeks of physical dating he's become "seriously invested" in her. He has no plans to return until the pandemic is over, even if it means staying abroad until summer or fall. He has no job in The Netherlands (and won't with every country being shut down) and no savings (beyond money his parents supply him), no house or apartment of his own, one small suitcase of clothes, and I feel bad for saying it but I feel like he probably manipulated this girl into making her feel like she's obligated to house and feed him out of 'true love'. I left him on read and got a funny message after a week:

" Are you okay? Can you please just confirm to me that you're not dying/dead? "

The audacity slapped me so hard. I finally gained the strength to block him on all social media, phone, email, hangouts, just everything. In the past I would have let this slide, I would've said 'well he'll realize I'M the better one, he'll come to his senses, we could just be friends I guess' but hey fuck that. No 31 year old man should be chasing a 19 year old girl. Especially in the middle of a fucking global pandemic. No 31 year old man should be living with/leeching on a 19 year old girl he's known for less than three months while also trying to have an "open relationship" with another woman. I want to thank this sub for opening my eyes and realizing that I have some value, that I don't have to be the reserve forever gf of a nasty predator man child and that I deserve the best for myself.