Does TRP kill love?

This is a very natural and virtuous question. There is a difference between romantic attraction (eros) and love, but the two are often mingled together. In the marital relationship, I would argue that it certainly helps to have both there, and in a healthy relationship one will reinforce and support the other. But the question you pose is a different one. It involves both concepts of duty and of natural bonding - which if not present is unnatural and an indication that something is wrong.

I didn't expect such a detailed reply to my comment. So first I thank you for the effort.

Let me explain it in a way where you can see yourself as the subject here instead of the woman. Suppose you were married, and your wife perceived your flaws. And let's presume those flaws are severe enough to be alienating to a reasonable person. (we all have flaws, no judgment if you feel a personal guilt here, and I'm not trying to judge). Well let's say that immediately upon recognizing your flaws, she lost respect for you.

Now she will put out for you and prepare lunch for the kids. But she doesn't want to spend time with you or get closer to you. In fact she feels a kind of revulsion toward you. Wouldn't feel so great would it? I mean you're in a position where you might actually like that, but this brings up the idea of natural bonding I alluded to earlier. It's abnormal for you not to want to get closer to a person you are living with. Now, to be up front, I'm not talking about merging or the illusion that you can become infinitely close with someone. But relationships that are healthy generally result in two people growing closer over time, through fighting and negotiation, through conflict and its resolution, and through love and acts of selflessness (and I mean selflessness because you know the other person doesn't deserve your generosity at times, and maybe all the time although that would be a pretty lousy partner).

I'm an abnormal person to begin with. So if I could just have a roommate like wife that had wild sex with me I would be totally into that. It's not like I want the other person to feel revulsion, but I have a low tolerance for emotionally clingy girls. I also personally don't want biological children.

TRP in Christianity, from what I've heard from a really healthy guy who left a year or two ago, diagnoses what a woman's problem is at her core. It talks of a woman's fallen and natural state. Now TRP in the world has no hope for the resuscitation of a woman to who God made, because they don't believe in God or regeneration of the spirit/heart at baptism - the 'born again' beginnings of Christian life. But in Christianity TRP shows us what a woman's natural weaknesses are and what she is fighting against. Just as relentless self-examination, prayer, and telling the truth results in our realizing our own flaws and just how messed up we are as people.

I fully agree with this part.

If we are to accuse women of being flawed because they are a woman, in the sense that the flaw is in their femininity (instead of the flaw being in themselves and that it only affects the expression of their femininity), then we as Christian men can guess that because Nature in many ways is symmetrical and promotes symmetry, we as men would have flaws because we are men. But if it is true in that the flaw is in the woman because she is a person in a fallen world, just as we are, then we see that the flaw isn't in the woman because she is a woman. And we look at that with compassion, realizing that our Father in heaven sees us with our flaws, too.

I would agree with this part, but fact is women far more often don't care about the way they act in dating or marriage.

This doesn't mean that we revert back to pedestalizing her or being a beta. But it means that if we choose to love her, then we love her in knowledge of the truth about her. And when you really get to know a person, you see this and you'll see it in anyone. The closer you get to those beautiful sculptures in the ancient world you will see the cracks and corrosions in them, the fissures and imperfections that from afar hid themselves from your critical sight.

It's a lot more effort to see the cracks and imperfections of women than men. I would say it's 10 times as long or more before their mask slips. Some women can keep it up forever. They are like beautiful sculptures that consistently have teams of professionals restoring them so you can't see the cracks and corrosion without specialized equipment. I really see it as one massive pain in the neck.

Once you see a person you have the choice either to love them or not to. And you might not feel very good about it, particularly if what you see in them is a raging storm of toxic evil instead of a few bad things. Like, if the person for instance refuses to admit they have flaws or is totally unaware that they do, or if they aggressively project their flaws onto you, they are dysfunctional and you can't have a relationship with them. Once you saw the truth about them, you can want their best and from a very far distance, because if you tangle with them they're gonna get drag you down. But a person who is normally flawed, you can get close to. Now they still have flaws, but you do too. And part of your relationship once you get past the infatuation "you're perfect, babe, I can't believe how much you saved my life", and you see that she looks like crap in the morning or drinks a little too much or she farts in her sleep, or she can be sexually frigid when she's insecure ... etc., once you start seeing these things then you have choices.

I guess this brings me back to the point I made before with dating and marriage. Women often treat their husbands like dogs and it's socially accepted. I view many women as being dysfunctional because of the way many of them treat their husbands like worthless bugs while husbands repeatedly speak of how lucky they are. It's utterly revolting to me.

And that brings me to your point about doing chores around the house. You don't need romance there to love her. Pretend we're talking about your wife. You don't need that. But if she's a vulnerable and good person, how can you not have compassion on her? If she's trying to do better, then how can you not have mercy on her for being where she is? Now if she isn't like that at all and is a conceited skank, then what are you doing with her at all? That's lust then. Because you're only using a component of the person instead of the real thing.

If I actually believed it then sure I would have compassion. Even if I didn't then I'd still have compassion because of God's commandments. None of that means I'm going to trust them. The bible says it's better to marry than burn with lust so it might entail just using a component of that person so you don't sin. Praying the straight away would be the better option for me, but if that doesn't work then I really don't have other non sinful choices.

Burning with lust isn't undesirable, by the way, because it's a sin against God but because it's annoying, bro. You get blinded and miss out on other great opportunities, not to mention that you're always in a state of aggravation internally and never at peace. Desiring a woman sexually is not a bad thing. It's normal and healthy. But it's when that dominates your thinking that it becomes lust. Interestingly in the OT the Hebrew word for 'greed' and 'covet' is interchangeable with 'lust'.

I have to disagree because not sinning is more important than however annoying it might be. If I live in sin and then die before repenting of it then I'm going to hell for sure.