Been seeing seriously a girlfriend of well over a year, I will ashamedly admit that I snooped on her phone this morning. I didn't have any bad suspicions, but was immediately surprised to see the name of a hookup she had told me about when we initially met, when she was a plate.

I had suggested we take some time off each other recently so she can focus on her professional developments (in between jobs and having self confidence troubles). She had mentioned that seeing my successes continually discourages her own.

Apparently these two had been talking relatively frequently, and she mentioned that "time off" as "I'm single" to him, hmm...

several exchanges later he gives the "you awake?" She mentions she was in a different state visiting parents (true), and he mentions "oh oops I was just trying to booty call" Her response ignores that.

His last message is "Let's drink, get together and catch up some time" With no response from her.

The infliction is that this is obviously unacceptable behavior (so is my snooping) and that she is clearly keeping him around as an option and a branch to swing to.

She's up in the mountains hiking this weekend, but when she returns and initiates contact I will bring her things from my place to hers and break things off.

The questions I have are:

Do I admit to the fact that I snooped and lay it out like it is? Something along the lines of, I'm ashamed of what I've done but that has also brought my attention to a behavior is not something I want in a partner. It is admittedly difficult to break a long period of interaction and trust with a partner, but she's already done this anyways, it's clear where her mind is. What do?

Also, She owes me about $200 of parts from repairs I did myself on her car. Would be nice to get this back but not critical to me.

In summary though I'm looking to continue my trend of recent successes in my professional and business endeavors, I've got many habits to keep me on that track, and the additional time I gain and emotional drain I lose will only better my efficacy.