What does a healthy interaction or relationship look like to you

MisterLionheart · 2020-06-23T07:28:55+00:00

Healthy flirting is any flirting where everyone's having fun.

My partner is a good partner because we are committed to a vision of a future together, because we have each other's backs when we need support, or when we fuck up - and yet we are also not afraid to tell one another if we fucked up.

It's accepting the flaws of your partner, and them accepting your flaws (and we all have many)

And finally, it's about healthy boundaries for yourself + knowing where you're at in life and finding a partner in a similar place.

Allchemyst · 2020-06-23T15:00:05+00:00

I think it's harder to see a good relationship because they aren't "loud" about it most of the time.

In my experience you don't see people sitting quietly together or being able to trust each other apart or having a discussion as opposed to a public argument and then think "wow, what a good couple" You do see people constantly getting shitty with one another and think about how "they must be in it for the sex" or you choose sides and decide who you hate the most or....

Good relationships are not eye catching to the outside (most of the time) and they really arent supposed to be. They are for the people in them, not a show for everyone else.

Inareskai · 2020-06-23T09:39:03+00:00

To quote the previous comment - 'Healthy flirting is any flirting where everyone's having fun'.
I'd also add to that the idea that my partner and I, from the very start, paid half and half for everything - he's never paid for my meal on a date, and I've never paid for his. It was something we talked about before we went on our first date, and we've stuck to it. If you want to avoid expectations you're not comfortable with - discuss it and set that boundary. You might lose dates over it, but the ones you have will be with people who agree with that stance - which sets you in a better place for sharing other ideals.

As for healthy interaction in a relationship:

- Arguments happen, but they end in a discussion about what caused it and how to address that (even if it's just 'this person was grumpy today').

- Supporting each other and not assuming the worst intentions every time something goes wrong - my partner once accidentally smashed a present from my sister I knew he didn't like. It was genuinely an accident, I saw it happen and he just wasn't paying enough attention to his surroundings. I now find the entire event very funny and tease him about it. If I had been insecure or assumed the worst, it would have been a much more stressful and unhappy interaction.

- In my relationship - and this could be different for everyone - generally I make the decisions over small things because I care more about it than he does, but if he expresses an opinion I am open and receptive and we discuss it. I also make sure I check that the decisions I make which effect both of us are always run past him before I commit to that decision. He does the same for me.

- Understanding who someone actually is, rather than setting unrealistic expectations for them and then being disappointed when they don't reach those. My partner is an introvert, I am an extrovert. It would be very damaging to our relationship if I kept hoping and expecting him to be able to handle lots of social interaction etc, and if he expected me to not be social. The aim is to find a balance we're both happy with, accepting the other's flaws, quirks and differences.

I have seen my partner cry many times, I have seen him be incredibly unwell and need help with basic tasks, I have seen him at his angriest, I have had blazing rows and soft moments. I regularly listen to his hopes and dreams and wants for life and the future and himself. At no point have I ever considered his 'masculinity' - either being more or less. He wants to be a stay at home dad and home school and future children for a little while - I think that's great, no impact on my view of his masculinity. He is experimenting with being more arty and creative at the moment - great! He plays online shooters with his lad friends and is very loud and aggressive in game - cool, he's having fun.

Masculinity seems to have a rigid set of conditions attached to it in your mind - or at the very least, in the minds of a lot of people you interact with - but that's not necessarily true for everyone out there. Try to meet people who share the same ideas about gender and politics etc, you're more likely to meet people with whom you can have healthy interactions.

timelord227 · 2020-06-24T08:22:35+00:00

So, the first thing I have to say-people suck overall. Bad relationships are not the fault only/mostly of women or only/mostly of men. It's because lots of people don't have control, compassion, patience, understanding. Those are not necessarily bad people, but damaged people who don't know what they want. Just because you've been in a few bad relationships, doesn't mean that every woman/man is bad, there are good ones out there.

I've had several bad relationships and a few abusive ones before I met my partner. The rest depends on your own personal preferences, but our healthy flirting was very fun and also respectful. Our relationship is also very fun, but also respectful. We respect each other's boundaries. When we have a problem, we openly and calmly talk about it without screaming and fighting. Don't be quiet and passive aggressive when you have a problem. Bring it up in a nice, respectful way. Accept your partner's flaws. Accept your own flaws, but also work on them. Have your own work and hobbies, and your partner should have theirs. Be there for one another. Support and encourage your partner in things they love and enjoy doing. Don't put each other down.

Relationships take work. They take two people who love each other and are willing to work and grow together.

sauerkrauttkid · 2020-06-24T21:53:22+00:00

Healthy flirting - fun, funny, everyone enjoying themselves and feeling relaxed and comfortable and a bit excited/butterflies maybe. There doesn't need to be any kind of power dynamic - I mean with my husband we just stayed up all night talking about life and real shit, didn't really feel like flirting, but then I accidentally on purpose showed him my knickers once when I was a bit drunk - but to be fair to me we were both 19 and I was not exactly an expert - probably wouldn't do that now! I quite like noticing when a man feels nervous around me because it makes me feel attractive and like I've got a bit of power - but that's just me, and probably because I don't feel powerful in other parts of my life (work, in my childhood etc). Definitely not all women, we're all complicated human beings in different ways.

Healthy relationship - you acknowledge you're both complicated and wonderful. I don't know, pretty big question to answer there - the important thing, psychologists have found, is that you both feel equal and equally responsible for making decisions - even if that's not actually the case. I know the French don't like this but me and my husband are genuinely just best friends, we both act like children - he randomly licks my face quite a lot. I think having lots of playfulness and fun and laughter is important in all of your relationships, not just romantic ones, or at least for me anyway! We definitely feel equal and make decisions together - someone else in the comments said her husband makes all final decisions, and that's fab if it works for her, but would definitely NOT work for us! He wouldn't be comfortable with that more than anything. Sorry for the ramble! Have a lovely evening/ rest of day.

katelidun · 2020-06-27T18:50:36+00:00

A healthy relationship stems from honest and open communication. I never have to guess my boyfriends intentions, and he doesn’t have to guess mine. We are open about how we feel. We support each other. We have occasional arguments, but they typically stem from miscommunication and once we talk through them most of the problems resolve. We’re equals and we both bring things to the relationship and put in equal work. We’re open with our expectations. I work to better myself so I can be a better partner, and I am happy to do that because I know it will make our relationship stronger. He does the same. It’s scary to be vulnerable, but the best relationships come from being honest, open and vulnerable.

svalbard5 · 2020-06-23T15:16:53+00:00

> I've been insensitive artsy guy all my life and I've had a very few positive reactions to that especially when it comes to dating j because I supposedly being a perfect catch on paper

I'm going to assume you mean "a sensitive" artsy guy.

The girls you've been dating are on the pill.

Once they go off the pill, you're fucked. They will cheat on you with a much more masculine man and you'll end up raising his kids, or if you are lucky, she'll just take your house and your money and have him move in to take your place.

Title	What does a healthy interaction or relationship look like to you
Author	defo18
Upvotes	11
Comments	33
Date	June 23, 2020 1:51 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/he5mko/what_does_a_healthy_interaction_or_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-does-a-healthy-interaction-or-relationship.700841 https://theredarchive.com/post/700841

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