I’m a serial monogamist who hasn’t dated casually a lot. As a result, am a bit naive about OLD still. I read this subreddit religiously, which has been a huge help for spotting red flags. I’m probably going to stop OLD pretty soon to give myself a break, but I’ve been noticing a weird trend with some of the dudes I’ve been talking to: during the FIRST PHONE CALL, they will sometimes ask me if I’m dating other men.

I’m always kind of mildly insulted by the question. It seems super strange to me. I would never assume that I was the only woman they were talking to, but I would also never dream of asking about it for the first few months, let alone on the first call?

I’m always honest and say that I’m talking to other guys, which always seems to throw them off as well... but, again, that seems like an odd response. I never ask them back because I honestly don’t care; it’s just way too early to even think about.

At least one of the guys seemed socially adept enough to know better, so it can’t all be due to social incompetence. Is it a PUA tactic? Or some weird jealousy paranoia thing? Are they looking for women who are only going to date one guy at a time while they explore other options?

No matter what, I can tell it’s a red flag and have crossed those guys off the list... but curious what y’all think is going through their minds.