Hi ladies! I’ve been lurking here for a long time, and he was post because I am deeply considering breaking up with my boyfriend of six years who I have been engaged to for about six months this weekend. I know these kinds of posts pop up all the time, so if there is any woman who has a moment to spare For another newbie I would be very grateful.

He is a very kind and generous person, he does send me lovely gifts and always make sure to ask how I’m doing and about my day. Everybody in my life loves him, which reflects well on his character. He is surprisingly thoughtful in a lot of ways especially from men, he’s funny, he’s smart, and he’s ambitious. He loves animals, and our sense of humor matches so well we laugh together like crazy.

However...

Even after I told him I thought that the porn industry was fucking evil, he still hasn’t committed to quitting. I asked him if he was considering it he said that it would be easier once the coronavirus was over and we were having regular sex again. This felt like a slap in the face and has made me less attracted to him which brings me to…

Whenever there is a period of time where he feels rejected, he completely retreats in himself and emotionally withdraws from me. It happened once, he said it wouldn’t again, but it feels like it’s a pattern.

He’s not a great communicator. It feels like I have to guess what’s wrong with him before he’ll just come out and tell me. I should not have to be a mind reader to have an emotionally honest relationship with someone.

There are a few other things, I’m completely child free and he has said that he doesn’t see himself having children but has admitted he cannot promise me he won’t feel differently in five years. Sometimes his gifts me feel like they just kind of… Missed the mark? He’ll send me a T-shirt for a movie franchise I love, but it’s of the one I didn’t like in the series.

I guess I’m just looking for your encouragement, or if there’s anything that is making me sound biased and I’m misjudging things? I am doubting my own judgment and wondering if it’s a good idea to go, especially because we connected so well and intensely for such a long time during our relationship, it’s just been the past year or so I’ve been feeling this distance and doubt.

He treats me well for the most part but I just feel so frustrated and disconnected and annoyed with everything, but I’m worried I won’t find a connection like we had again especially as I get older. That I’m sure is just my internalized misogyny talking but I want to be honest with myself here.

This has gotten long but I think that’s everything. Thanks to this community for everything it’s already done for me, it’s giving me the courage and honesty to look at my relationship in a clear light and even make this post in the first place. I appreciate that there is still a place by women for women on Reddit.