You want to be able to look back with pride in how you acted. Don't be a pickme begging him to stay or trying to make it work. Don't let him devalue you, dehumanize or insult you and then dump you. Try to beat LVM to the punch whenever possible.

This has several benefits

  • he is less likely to contact or harass you if you're the one doing the dumping in a classy, but no-nonsense "do not ever contact me again" way. Because he doesn't want to catch a case or be rejected a second time (big ego)
  • you get to save the time waiting for him to dump you
  • you can sleep well knowing you took decisive action in protecting your health and protecting your peace, not waiting for a LVM to decide your relationship fate
  • you don't let him give you a list of insults and condescension like he would if he were the one breaking up
  • you get on to living your best life super quick. Less hurt. You grieve on your own terms and you managed to end the relationship with your dignity intact.

LVM can't be trusted to break up with you properly or give you closure, you have to take it upon yourself to make the final decision, break up, and move on for good.

There is one caveat- if the guy seems crazy, unpredictable or unstable, do not break up with him abruptly, let the relationship die. Do the grey rock method of being very boring and nonresponsive until he gets bored of you and dumps you. These kinds of LVM will hold a grudge and be very weird about being dumped. They are inclined to come back around, convince you to get back together, only to be the one dumping you in a twice as humiliating way and to shit on your character before being the one to leave you. Let the unpredictable LVM be the ones to distance themselves from the relationship, protect your peace.

Dump him, sis. What are you waiting for?