What is the difference between setting boundaries and mate guarding?

FirstName_LastName4 · 2020-07-22T06:21:15+00:00

Boundaries are things you dont accept out of your LTR, mate guarding is You feeling insecure about something and pretending to be "alfa" to compensate.

Its about frame

cglehosit · 2020-07-22T06:32:03+00:00

Mate guarding: you think she is yours, so you act desperate when she steps over the line

Setting boundaries: you know she is not yours and it’s just your turn, so you are outcome independent and are able to exit if needed

Read the sidebar

MilitantLiberal · 2020-07-22T06:43:06+00:00

Why did she invite him to your guest room?

Jacked5parrow · 2020-07-22T06:14:31+00:00

Frame and being able to walk away

2020-07-22T12:39:39+00:00

Mate guarding: doing rules for a specific her on a specific situation.

Boundaries: shit you wont take from any chick no matter what.

xxx69harambe69xxx · 2020-07-22T13:52:43+00:00

it's the same way you would set boundaries with anyone

if you don't like something, say "stop doing that"

mate guarding is just when you lack abundance so you set boundaries that are based in a lack of abundance. This doesn't make you look weak, because you're setting a boundary that this bitch better not be annoying the shit out of you by forcing you to meet random fuckers

cvbnjk · 2020-07-22T14:38:43+00:00

I've been wondering the same thing. I was just asking a couple TRP experts the same question.

How do you set boundaries without coming off as mateguarding and jealousy? I think I understand now - not 100%, but a bit better than I did before

Setting boundaries is more about you, what you're comfortable with and drawing the line. Mateguarding makes it about her and telling her what to do in a situation where you feel threatened or lack abundance (when you shouldn't be in that business)

So what you did was exactly setting a boundary because all you said was "I don't think that's appropriate" and left it at that. You didn't say "No, you can't do that. Don't let him stay over."

You just said what you were comfortable with, and didn't explain yourself further (and you shouldn't have to explain - she understood right away)

And the last part is also true - where you always have to be willing to walk. I don't think you were weak at all

HurricaneHugues · 2020-07-23T04:10:20+00:00

"But I didn't want to be in a relationship that my gf has guys stay over in the guest room."

If that were true you would've took action and dumped, and not use your words. Words are cheap. You didn't set any boundary because a quality girl should already know that what she was proposing was a deap breaker. What she did was try ti cuck you right under your nose and see how you would react. That's like you going for a job interview and your boss tells you that he doesn't want you to steal; yeah, no sh it he doesn't want you to steal, that's just good employee 101. If someone has to TELL you not to steal on the job, there is something wrong with YOU.

You only have two options. Either you drop this lil thot, or you demote her to a plate.

Title	What is the difference between setting boundaries and mate guarding?
Author	Global-Pudding-9067
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	July 22, 2020 6:10 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hvog1u/what_is_the_difference_between_setting_boundaries/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-is-the-difference-between-setting-boundaries.716413 https://theredarchive.com/post/716413

Comments

"But I didn't want to be in a relationship that my gf has guys stay over in the guest room."