I think of dating as a numbers game. You have your standards. For example purposes Ill list some of mine(not in an order of importance):

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*I want him to be physically attractive (to me)

*Intelligent and knowledgeable. Bonus points if he's wise too

*Kind, trustworthy. Able to discuss issues maturely. Truly cares about me (beyond his own self interest)

*Good with money. Responsible. Has his own set of goals he's working towards.

*Can do normal adult things: cleaning, cooking, taxes etc. Does not need a nanny/mommy

*Adventurous, fun. Curious. Likes to try new things. Not boring, sitting with a beer in front of the PC all day.

*No drug/alcohol abuse. No personality disorders. No criminal record. Respectful even if he's angry.

*Slightly older and preferably more experienced. I like men who can teach me a thing or two.

*Exclusivity, partnership. Id only get married if he has more money than me with current laws. No open arrangement BS.

*Sexual compatibility. No overstepping boundaries

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These standards came about when i thought what's important to me based on my previous relationships. Like if i think about my previous dating experiences all men had some of the combinations of the stipulated standards. Every time I compromised any one of those (unfortunately I compromised more than 1 almost every time) things backfired and I wasted precious time, energy and emotions.

Either I was bored, or he just simply didnt get my engine going, or he did, but he had a plethora of other issues. If I felt he was below my level intellectually I felt he just didnt have the capacity to understand a big part of me nor discuss anything on a similar level. The lazy ones are hard to be with because then all the burden of life falls on your back, no matter how wonderful they otherwise may be. The ones with psychological problems and addictions are a no go zone as far as Im concerned. Their life is out of control and they WILL drag you down with them if you let them. Etc etc...

The point is, that I feel due to the changing nature of gender relations, the emergence of dating apps and normalization of hookup culture and subsequent decreasing importance of sex that the chances of finding what I want (a partner on who operates on a similar level) is pretty low. Not to mention something is seriously weird about most millennial men. A lot of them seem like petulant children, a lot of them are broke, in debt and cant take care of themselves let alone someone else. THeY DonT bElive In MarrIagE either. Where do I sign up?

A lot of the women I spoke to had at least one boyfriend who was abusive (statistics back this up). Most women I know who are married or in ltrs say that they're primary ones responsible for the kids, the house but they also work a stressful job. They are completely burned out. Some of them even support their bum husbands. Great! lol

I also know some beautiful intelligent wonderful women with rich "trophy boyfriends/husbands". You know, pitch perfect picture from the outside. Guess how many of these are getting cheated on and abused? These poor ladies are trapped in their own golden cages. Most of them dont want to compromise they living standard so they put up with it.

If you open OLD to me it feels its just like a chess game for them with the end goal of: how do I secure sex for the lowest price in the lowest time frame. They see it as a free brothel. Its just a waste of time 95% of the time imo.

I mean is it really that bad out there? Where does one find that special unicorn resembling an adult partner? Im done being told "you gotta compromise". Every, and I mean every time i compromised what I wanted it backfired. At this stage im just not willing to do so anymore. But then again each and every standard that you have just decreases of chance of "success".

Im curious to see how you ladies are feeling about the current state of heterosexual relations. What are your standards like? Have you found your unicorn prince charming? If so, where lol? Also feel free to comment on any of the other points, id be curious to see how you people see the aforementioned topics. :)