Post Here.
When the love is gone, a woman can be as cold to you as if she had never known you.
--Roissy (Peace Be Upon Him)
And that, friends, is because when she ends things with you, she rewrites history in her own head to convince herself that her relationship with you never really existed. Or to the extent it did exist, it didn't exist the way either of you thought it did.
This is a common occurrence in a breakup. In the run up to the breakup and immediately after, the hamster gets on the wheel to make sure that she can end things with you with a clear conscience. She has to convince herself that she did nothing wrong, that the breakup is 100% your fault, and it was a bad relationship.
She has to turn the switch "off". To do that she has to erase a lot of history and rewrite other parts. The relationship was NEVER good. Nothing about it was ever any good. It was always a bad relationship from the very start. She never loved you. She never liked having sex with you. The bad things she did, didn't happen. The good things you did, didn't happen. Or you did them, but they weren't "good" things. You are so evil and malevolent that you made them look like good things.
The key quotes:
Women use their emotional state to define reality
When a woman feels an emotion, she uses this as her objective reality.
The thought process looks much like this: If true love is permanent and real, and I am not feeling true love for this person, but rather disdain and anger, then I must be feeling this way because of who they are. They make me feel bad, so they cannot be good. And since this person makes me feel bad I could not have loved them, because I would never love somebody who makes me feel bad (the qualities he exhibits now must have been inherent qualities he has always had). So I must have never loved them. The entire relationship must have been a lie. Real true love would be permanent, and this is not permanent, so it was never real true love.
See? History is rewritten. Retconned. Your good qualities are erased. "Cancelled", if you will. Anything good you did is gone. Anything bad she did is gone. Or explained in such a way that she never has to take any responsibility for it.
When she breaks up with you, prepare for her to blame you for all of it, 100% of it. Her emotions are her reality. She lives within her own emotions. For women, emotions and feelings define reality.
The relationship was shit, because of YOU. The relationship was never any good, because of YOU. The conclusion to this relationship is 100% your fault. Every last bit of this breakup is your fault. You never did anything good or worthwhile. She has to do this so that she can break up with you without feeling bad. Because, as we all know, feeling bad is the second worst thing that can happen to a woman.
The Light Switch Effect. You'll see it eventually.
[–]DeeplyDisturbed1Mod 47 points48 points49 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[+]BlackDogRamblin8 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
There is a new post on the relationship_advice sub every 5 minutes demonstrating this behavior.
“My horrible boyfriend just did something really horrible. He has done other horrible things in the past but never something this horrible. What should I do?”
They know they will get the validation from reddit they need to move forward with the breakup. Or if they aren’t sure how stable their branch swing is they can “take a break” from the relationship so they can go out and fuck the new guy and see if he will stick around.
[–]AldabruzzoMod[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]magicmikefx 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]JKL47862911 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
I was with a woman for ~1.5 yrs. The last month it was over for me, and I was waiting for her TGTFO. I was waiting on her to go, because I realized that she wanted me to toss her out, hit her or whatever would give her the "justification" to make me the bad guy and she could leave. This area is her home, not mine. Unfortunately, we were living in my place, so I needed to get her out.
Fortunately, where I was working at the time, I had a "friend" (not really) and her brother-in-law. I let the "friend" know that I can't keep waiting and need to get her out. 2 days later I went to work and came home and her and all of her stuff was gone! Took me about 4 seconds to process after entry...and then relief and happiness set in. It was definitely a "YaY!" moment.
That's been almost 20 yrs ago and the last "official" relationship that I've had and there will not be anymore. I am single. I live alone. And, I like it like that. Funny is that that really burns their ass these days.
[–]DeeplyDisturbed1Mod 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[+]kd21212121 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Didn’t realise these emotions and reactions were specific to women. No man in the history of mankind has ever fallen out of love with a woman and done anything of these things, you are completely right.
Tool.
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